they should invent bread that you don’t have to go out of the house to get

speaking of the foibles of AI have any other text-to-speech software users noticed a simultaneous uptick in the realism of the voice timbre and downturn in the ability to actually say the words, resulting in the uncanny experience of feeling like you’re witnessing someone having a stroke

lowkey annoying when your animal crossing villagers start picking up each other’s catchphrases. i told ketchup to say baby plum at the end of sentences because she is a little red duck who looks like a tomato. it’s not cute when you, a grey bear, do it

did NIN do their ashley o cover at coachella

thoughts and prayers as i reread the masters thesis i wrote at 24

getting to lead a workshop next week and i’m going to tell the teens about oulipo. no one can stop me

meanwhile i dress like if your grandfather was a part time clown

ten years and 400 miles out from the dissolution of a relationship and still getting jumpscared by anyone in a red buffalo check shirt and blue jeans out of the corner of my eye. probably healthy

perfect interaction

there’s something wrong with my rotator cuff and while looking up nhs scotland advice, i have become extremely annoyed by this. obviously pain is subjective so pain scales make no sense generally, but this is so vague as to be meaningless, partly *directly due to discrimination in healthcare*

bought a washing machine less than a year ago (£400!!) and today the door seal has broken and caused a leak into the business below our flat. cba

you do gotta wonder what was going through bill callahan’s head while he was recording the backing vocals for only skin. mystifying stuff

i absolutely love to do like 15% of what normal people manage in any given week and then wonder if i am hypomanic given this sudden increase in activity

let it be known that i tried to post some poorly lit grainy footage of baby pigeons in their nest at this trying time but bsky won’t let me upload video

beyond time for deep state agents to pull the trigger. metaphorically of course

given myself permission to DNF books lately but only after a lifetime of pushing through ones i wasn’t enjoying and discovering no they did not get good. one more scale of needless guilt sloughed away, 805,743,698,461 to go

pour one out for autistic people trying to keep quiet every time they see a photo of precisely one hemisphere of earth saying everyone is in the pic

had a dream siri was some sort of genie and i was like “siri make it 19° celsius today without having any negative impact on the climate” 🥴

currently witnessing the heaviest snow i’ve seen in several years, in glasgow, while my mother reports that in dundee it’s “lovely and sunny”. scotland’s sunniest city does it again

learned about (and became immediately obsessed with) anthropomorphic MRI phantoms (models approximating the density of human bodies used to calibrate scanners) but the breast ones are fuckin wild. when you’ve definitely seen a human woman

part of the pokopia music lowkey sounds like the intro to super rich kids so when my partner is playing it i’m constantly wanting to be like TOO MANY BOTTLES…

slept 25h out of 35 ha ha hee hee

annoyed that the greens are once again only standing list candidates here so looks like i’ll be spoiling my constituency ballot, again

how an mf presents when for once they know they won’t be the most overdressed person at the function

pocket dial! in the group chat

irritable butt lift

yes indeed i think i, the person about to listen to “titties bounce” by gravy train!!!! at 1pm on a wednesday afternoon, shall take the opportunity to start playing the stock market while i’m at it

tough on april fool’s day, tough on the causes of april fool’s day

think i’ve wrangled a +1 to the v&a catwalk exhibition private view tomorrow? looking forward to upsetting fashion types by existing while fat and having my titties out under a blazer

went for an eye test this afternoon just to make sure i can see trans people as well as possible

they added a new bus stop in the city centre about 25 years ago and every time i want to get off there i’m still anxious it’s not a “real” stop and the driver will be annoyed. still sometimes avoid ringing the bell. i love to be normal

if i were wales, ireland or northern ireland i would simply have qualified for the world cup in the group stage

every time i think a sandwich in tuscany is vegetarian www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BkK...

distinct lack of judith slaying holofernes merch in the uffizi gift shop bc everyone is a coward

very funny to see the italian food discourse on social media then you come to tuscany and every pizzeria sells a sausage and chips pizza

stuck the tv on and just got a quiz show question right when the contestant didn’t and i don’t actually speak italian lol

3/5 even i can lean more than that

tell u wot i miss scottish air quality

we just saw a fucking nutria swimming in the arno lol

i thought that grazie mille would be one of those overly polite/formal/dated things they tell tourists to use but everyone really is out here saying it constantly

one of my sisters came into my room in the villa and went “fucking hell, looks like a cartoon character’s wardrobe” 😭

ah sì… i due generi

in italy and my train is running two minutes late. fascism found dead

love to hear the uncensored version of trick me at breakfast

huge day for my tits as i managed to find and buy a low cut top for the first time in ????? years since all fashion nowadays is for the amish

this was 6.5h ago and i still cannot calm down this is why the criminalisation of cannabis is directly discriminatory against autistic people

me framing and thinking i’m about to be asked then asking a question lol

went to a screening of a mark fisher film and asked a critical question about the vampire castle being included (and how it was included). my voice was shaking for some reason lol i’m so brave

i truly do not believe that if there were a meningitis outbreak here, people in kent would be getting as many BBC breaking news notifications about it as i am about this one