Sweet mother, I cannot weave. Slender Aphrodite has overcome me with longing for a girl. Is basically "Sorry mum, can't go to work. I'm gooning."

They should do Dragon's Den/Shark Tank but for porn. "I'll fund you £10,000 for 45%, but I get to be a side character, and you have to have a fisting scene or I'm out."

"Uhh, it's pretty relative I think?" Girl with an incest kink: "hhh pretty relative??"

Tom and Jerry are t4t.

"WE NEED MECH SUPPORT NOW!" mech pilot: "don't shout at puppy :c"

What do you call a spooky femme top? The Pumpqueen!

Extremely professional and normal Handler and her squad of deranged, horny mech pilots who are all trying increasingly unhinged ways to be abused by her.

Handler? I hardly know 'er!

"We really dropped the ball on this one." Puppygirl: "Well duh! Owner needed it to throw, silly!"

I got to do a little vet scene with a fox and her owner yesterday. Was very fun going through the examination, pinning her down, keeping her occupied and complacent. Any creatures need a checkup?~

Edgeplay, but it's not with a knife or a gun. It's with a grenade. Be a good pet or we'll both be blown to bits.

Oh sweetie, has everybody been treating my adorable little critter like a person? You poor thing, that must be so, so stressful for you. Come here and let that facade slip away. No need for you to pretend when you're with me, pet.

Offers you my hand to sniff (flirting)

Foxgirl twirling her hair as she talks to a bunny: "Oh my gosh, you hop too? We have so much in common~"

A promise cage. It's just like a promise ring! I promise you won't cum. *Click*

If you were a little fox and a nurse, would you be the first aid kit?

Puppy discourse "Your owner pretending to throw the ball IS abusive. Why would they do that if they weren't trying to trick you? You should break up with them."

Clone discourse "Look, I just think it's weird that you're not fucking your clone. Not even hand stuff? It's basically masturbation. Do you have self esteem issues or something? No, for the last time, it's not incest. It would be hotter if it was."

You're telling me a puppy coded this??

Piss yourself.

Referring to a sub as "the help" (derogatory).

Don't tell me I've broken you so soon, pet. I want to see the terror in your eyes when you hear me walking down the stairs. I want you to lean as far as your chains will allow away from me when I reach out. I want to taste fear in your tears. If I can't, you're useless to me.

It's perfectly normal for sex to feel like it hurts, sweetie. That's just your silly little brain getting all confused because of how great it feels. Stop fucking struggling. There's no need for it. I'm not going to hurt you; you know I would never. I'm only trying to make you feel good. 1/4

Need to find an allistic puppygirl to be my guide dog in social situations.

Do they call you a pillow princess because all you do is hump pillows?

Is it some kind of hate crime or animal cruelty to have a shower before hanging out with a puppygirl?

"Oh! Thank you! You've freed us from a lifetime of service and degradation! Thank you!" Domme: "Oh, I wouldn't say freed. More like, under new management."

Thread 1/? What's that, pet? You want to go home? I don't understand, precious; you are home. Oh, sweetie, are you having another one of your little mis-rememberings again? You do look adorably confused. Why would I lie to you about this being your home, my sweet angel?

"MILF please! MILF please!" "What's that, sweetie?" "Mommmyyyy, I'd like to fuck, please!" *Sigh*

Got my kid (she's 27) a doll (it's 31).

Making a doll wear a chastity belt despite the fact it's smooth between its legs.

Thinking again about making a sub wear their own broken chastity key on their collar. A lovely constant reminder of how helplessly locked away they are, as well as a lovely signal to everyone else that they're a needy slut.

Is she gaslighting you or does she just have ADHD? "Darling, I promise that you never gave me the key to your chastity cage. You must've lost it somewhere, silly. I can help you look?"

Awwww, do your puppyparts ache, pet? Are you all needy? That's perfectly normal, it's alright. You're too much of a ditzy, dumb mutt to know what to do, to know how to take care of yourself. Just like back like an obedient pup and let Miss take care of you~

Colourblind domme: "Keep going, got it!"

"You wanna cum, cutie?" "Pleaseeeee!" "Awww. If you've still got words to beg, you can take a bit more."

Insecure lesbian dom: "Maybe she's just letting me tie her up and beat her till she cums to be nice :/"

"What did you call your sex club?" Mousegirl: "The Squeakeasy."

"This is my favourite yo-yo move! Walking the dog!" *Whips puppygirl with yo-yo whenever she tries to stop moving*

"Yeah, it was really interesting. Went down a rabbit hole." "Rabbit hole? Where?? Can I have some???"

"I'm gonna give you a pounding." Puppygirl: "Please don't send puppy to the pound! puppy will be good!! Please!!!"

Oh my, those leftists are NOT fighting.

Who is Bill and why do the government keep passing them around? They must be super hot.

Waspgirl after she tried to sexily bite your lip and accidentally paralysed you: "Oh fuck, not again. I'm so sorry!"

"Hey, hit pause for me." Girl called pause: "wh--"

*paws at you* *paws at you* *paws at you* Can I cover you in pretty bite marks?

Call her a dead horse the way I beat her.

Are you a soft domme? Uhh, I'm a bouba domme.

Good puppies get to wear their noise cancelling headphones when we go to the big Tesco.

Performance predator X prey scene that's like one of those silly theatre shows. "She's behind you!!" "Oh no she isn't!" "Oh yes she is!" "Oh fuck she is!"