Good evening, America. Allow me first to apologize for this interruption. I do, like many of you, appreciate the comforts of every day routine- the security of the familiar, the tranquility of repetition. I enjoy them as much as any man. 1/

Only things I ask is that nothing goes in Skylor's butt, and that Girl and Natalie aren't involved in directly sexual stuff with others. Beyond that, go ham, I will ABSOLUTELY gush about it!

Haven't done one of these in ages. 1 number per person, and I'll answer honestly

Nobody deserves to be shot and killed in front of their family while cameras record the tragedy. That stupid kid deserves any punishment he gets. RIP Harambe 1999-2016.

If I didn't respect someone in life, I'm sure as fuck not going to respect them in death. Rot in hell, CK, you fucking piece of shit. Have fun debating for eternity with the imps who gouge your scrotum and eyeballs with rusty forks.

My thoughts and prayers worked! So glad we have a second amendment that's unfettered by reasonable regulations.

Interesting statistic, if accurate. Hilarious as well.

Rest in pieces, City of Philadelphia

"Mahomes taken down from behind" Just say the Chiefs are getting raped and move on

Mahomes should just retire after this

Was hoping Harrison Ford was gonna Hulk out

Was wondering when the Liberty Medical supplies would bring the chiefs out of their diabeetus coma

Did someone wake Mahomes up finally?

The eagles have landed

Literally just had a "Americans are really fat" ad in the middle of all these food commercials. Murica

Couldn't even get to the 50. Did the chiefs even come to the game? Or did they substitute a Pee Wee team with mustaches?

Now I want some Nerds gummy clusters

Patrick Mahomes needs to become a spokesman for AstroTurf

Andy Reid's locker room talk was just trying to convince his players to buy their diabeetus supplies from Liberty Medical

Local ads are not nearly as well produced as the ones that cost $10m/ 30 secs

Glad I don't have a Rebel Pilot helmet fused to my head

If you want to eat lava, it's not actually illegal. Go right ahead. Taking horse dewormer isn't illegal either.

If y'all try anything at pigeon forge, let me and Shelby know!

Omg the first time the chiefs could've done something, the receiver fucked it up

I wish Matt Patricia was on the sidelines this year

So the drinking game this Superb Owl is "guess what the ad is advertising before it reveals itself". First person to get it right doesn't drink, everyone else takes a shot.

So I came across this (not literally) and decided "wtf, why not". Had to change it from "twt" to "skt" for this platform. Pick as many numbers as you want, just be prepared for me to answer them.

If you voted for the orange fascist, get the fuck off of my page. You're the problem with this country, you racist, sexist piece of shit

There are not nearly enough drawings of cuckold husbands eating fresh creampies out of their wives on this app. Just saying.

Can we get an instant fact checker for the debates?

...in bed

Figured I'd upload my ref sheet here