Im not crying to selections from “ghost: the musical”, YOU ARE!!!!!

Save the egg on your face for breakfast.

MARIAH CAREY?!?!?!

ah, the story of psyche and cupid...i, too, know a forbidden and tragic love.

I don’t want to hear such a stupid request.

sum up your look in one word...? mmm.... Rat.

your roots are greasy and your tips are dry

At the risk of sounding pedestrian- the foliage really is gorgeous.

Drinking my coffee black like God intended

The taste of fine water is best enjoyed at 59 degrees, without ice.

How dare you. How dare you say this to me. I'm ALWAYS thinking about checkmate

Went to IKEA for new office furniture. Ate like a fucking pig at the restaurant…why the fuck did I do that!!!!!!!!

"Candles not included"-- Why even bother!?

capturing my pawn en passant….such impudence!!

If you want to witness ignorance, ask someone their opinion of Mondrian.

How fucking good would a frozen yogurt be right now?

Andrew Lloyd Webber die bitch

Such gorgeous and delicate garden stakes have no place being sold at the Dollar Tree!

Wake me up when they elect the first Spacenoid Pope…

💢💢💢

My dentist is pissing me off lately

It’s national poetry month….and you act like this?

bath towels…matching hand towels…fluffy, black…luxurious……

Who the fuck authorized this

Embarrassed at how into this I am. Ashamed, really.

Little temptations are everywhere…..

office siren for boys

so….we meet again…..

Your junk journal is so bougie it actually makes you look fucking stupid

just saw someone say you need a special vase for ikibana. no you fucking don't. it's called floral foam and you can get it anywhere.