I ordered a Saturnine Praetor. I dont play Horus Heresy, I wanted it because Im gonna kitbash it with some Chaos bits I have and make it a center piece/warlord for my homebrew Chaos army. Like a Master of Exectutions in Terminator Armor.

Been feeling a lot better recently since I started going outside more. Who knew touching grass actually helps depression? That sounds like a joke, but I deadass used to think people just used to say that for whatever reason.

Ty all for tuning in tonight. 2 boss fights in the span of like an hour is insane, but RE4 is really fun so far. I'll see you guys again Saturday.

Live!

8:00 PM Eastern. Resident Evil 4 (2005). Be there or be a circle or however it goes. www.twitch.tv/malphas_vtuber

Yall holy shit it is like perfect outside today.

Schedule for 4/28-5/3: 4/29: RE4 5/2: Warhammer Painting

I gotta start making schedules again bro. I keep thinking "I should stream" and then think "But you didn't schedule one and there's other things you could do." And Im like "Yeah, but I want to stream." And then my brain says "Nah were still in anxiety mode. Theres so much other stuff you can do."

Damn those storms were wild. But I slept like a baby afterwards because I was anxious all day and when my anxiety finally ended, I realized how exhausted I was.

Okay I spent the whole day day drinking and Im sober again. What did I miss?

I will not be streaming tonight. I got a lot of storm anxiety atm. There is a lot of talk about very bad storms for my area tonight. Potentially strong tornadoes. I'll probably just be chilling all day and monitoring the weather, and hopefully I'll be able to sleep tonight.

A nap turned into an 11 hour sleep.

I think Im gonna go to bed when I get home. Nothing bad is happening, im just eepy.

I went and got the food and had a couple cups of coffee. The coffee was a mistake.

Im thinking about going and rreating myself after work to some comfort food because Ive got a few things stressing me out and I think it'll help chill me out a little.

Okay Im ngl chat, I finished this Mutilator a few days ago and I honestly think its my best paint job yet.

Ty all for tuning in tonight. Apologies it was really short. Like I mentioned: I've been really burnt out on streaming. I don't really feel like I have the spark for it at the moment, but I'm trying to rekindle it because I really do wanna stream. Honestly I'm considering this smaller stream a win.

Live! www.twitch.tv/malphas_vtuber

You know what? Eff it. Ill stream some Battlefield casually at like 8:00 PM Eastern. Just something casual to chill too. Ill see you guys then.

I dont think Ill be able to stream tonight unfortunately. My anxiety is pretty bad and Im not feeling the greatest. How about tomorrow?

Me: *sees Canada has a new law that says if you can prove you have consistent lineage in Canada, no matter how far back, you can apply for citizenship there* Me: Damn....I wonder if I have any ancestors in Canada?

Maybe I should start going to a game store or something to play Warhammer. But I feel like I need to practice a little more first.

Okay so I mentioned I might stream Warhammer and converting the Land Raider but Imma be honest for a sec: the Land Raider is old and has some old like foam bits stuck to it and I have honestly dont know how to remove it without possibly stripping some of the primer.

What should I do tonight after I run my errands chat?

Boss apparently scheduled to come in an hour later than usual today. Wouldn't be that big of a deal if it wasnt for the fact I didnt know and gotten up and came to work at the usual time.

Looks like Ill bre able to stream again Friday (or tomorrow I guess). The usual obligation I have that day had to be postponed. Maybe Ill do some Warhammer stuff? Idk I got an old Land Raider I want to convert to a Chaos Land Raider.

Oof I cant sleep

Howdy yall. What have I missed since Ive been gone the last couple days just working on myself? Ive been working on my confidence and trying to get used to actually going out more.

I want

Ty all for tuning in tonight. I got some food going and I'm winding down and chilling. This bathroom will forever haunt my dreams.

Live!

Gonna be streaming Resident Evil 4 tonight at 8:00 PM Eastern. I have not played 3 at all, but I have been told I don't need to play it to enjoy 4 and I really want to play 4. I'll see you guys there. www.twitch.tv/malphas_vtuber

I'll probably stream RE4 tomorrow night. I'm still recovering from some mental health stuff. I'm fine, I just need 1 extra day.

The creative juices are flowing through my brain. Making me wanna continue working on that tabletop game I was working on a while back.

I did not end up trying to finish painting it last night and instead sat and watched the weather like the anxious little biscuit I am. And then I went to bed and couldn't sleep.

Since I finished Ty the Tasmanian Tiger 1 and I need a new game to stream, wouldn't it be like super cool if I bought the original version of Resident Evil 4 and then streamed that maybe like tomorrow or Sunday or something?

I woke up not wanting to go to work today. To further put off a future crashout, im gonna try and finish painting my Lord Discordant on Helstalker model.

Bro was it just me or was Bluesky out for a significant portion of the day today?

Sorry for no streams last week. Maybe not this week either. Im working through some stuff and finally trying to allow myself to move on.

Im now convinced this is a genre of brainrot that I have only now discovered.

Bro idk why YouTube recommended this to me but its simultaneously hilarious and spiking my anxiety at the same time. youtu.be/6bZ2JJO6RG0?...

Playing REPO with friends soothes the soul, even if I spent most of it shitting my pants in fear.

Damn Ive barely posted on Bluesky this week. What depression does to a mf I suppose. You know what though? I literally have a support system where I can talk to people and I just dont utilize it because I get nervous. So if anything, in this case Im the one keeping myself down. Ill work on it.

Yall ever somehow manage to pull like every single blanket off of yourselves while your asleep?

Have a painted Adrax Agatone for your troubles.

I literally wrote this while having a little moment. Ive got a lot going on. Might take the rest of the week to chill.

I sometimes wish I didnt live so far away from most of my friends. I wish could hang out with them irl, give them all hugs, let them know how much of a positive impact theyve all had on my life. I wish I wasnt so bad at socializing.

I think I will skip posting a schedule for this week since it's already like...Wednesday and just say I'll probably stream tomorrow. I'll let you guys know when I come up with something to play. In the mean time, I'll go ahead and relax the rest of the day since I'm off work.

Apologies for not posting the schedule today. I spent today decompressing. I didn't have a great Easter and I just needed a day to unwind and breathe some fresh air. Might do the same tomorrow and Wednesday as well.