Happy Day of the Dude

Finally lost my Canal virginity!

I’m so excited for the new Colleen Hoover movie to come out! …Just so I don’t have to watch the damn trailer (that also gives away the whole plot) again.

Taught myself how to ice skate! French Alps 2030, here I come!

Happy Pokémon Day!

Wordle 1,698 1/6* 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Finally! Time for a new starting word.

My Letterboxd summary for 2025 🧡💚💙

Let’s leave the “I’m not ready to book but wanted to introduce myself” messages in 2025. 👋

Fun fact: I won a Grinch colouring contest despite colouring his legs red. 9-year-old me did not understand the concept of Winnie-the-Poohing.

Meowy Catmas!

Choose your character

Spotted a pack of gum on a seat as I boarded the bus. Later, I saw two different guys at different times take pieces from it and put it back on the seat. Apparently communal bus gum is a thing.

Obsessulated 💚💖

Meet Polly, my boobie cactus 🤭

“I don’t talk like that—I’m from Ottawa.”

“I want to book [duration under lowest listed]” “Do you offer [unpaid] social dates?” “How much if I only want xyz?” “I only have $___” These are all haggling and negotiating. Don’t be disrespectful.

Long time no see ✌️

Don’t ask for bottled water if you’re just going to have one sip and decline taking it with you when you leave 😠

Going to a busker festival without cash is like coming here with an account bio that says, “Just here for fun. I don’t pay for play.” 🤡

Devastated to learn that St. Elsewhere is permanently closing after August 31. 😭

I received Exotic Cancer’s ‘Nightshift’ board game today! Wanna come over and play?

“Please give me a good rating,” says the Uber driver who held his phone to look up hockey updates while driving, tried to invite himself to my movie, and suggested picking me up after

I just realized some douchey Cybertruck owner might have sentry mode footage of me ranting about how dangerous trucks/SUVs are for pedestrians and me demonstrating how it would hit me in a front-end collision 🤷‍♀️

✨ 2025 Special ✨ Make it a movie date for $100! Example: 1.5 hour incall + whatever time at the movies = $500 + $100 Doesn’t matter if it’s a standard 90 minute flick or the LOTR extended version, the movie portion of the date will be a flat $100. Terms apply ⬇️

Are you wearing green today? ☘️

“Does your incall smell like cat?” 1. Rude. 2. He doesn’t live there. If he did, I’d disclose that because I’m not an entitled prick who lets an animal in their care jump on unsuspecting clients, roam free on multi-use pathways, or be loud in stores because “everyone must love them!!”

Happy Day of the Dude

My favourite movies from this awards season: • Anora • Flow • It’s What’s Inside • My Old Ass • The Substance • Wicked What are yours?

Lousy Smarch weather

“I don’t know. It just seems… seedy or something.”

Text apps are a hard no. Don’t bother.

Have the day you voted for 💛 (Photo from the 2019 federal election)

“Happy Friday!” says the out-of-touch white-collar worker to the bartender who’s likely working all weekend.

Mikey Madison is vegan? As if she couldn’t get any better ❤️

I watched ‘Babygirl’ the other day and I find it absolutely hilarious that I already have a plate of strawberry candies in my incall

“Mama always told me that I should play nice, but she didn’t know you when she gave me that advice”

“What’s your availability like this week?” With the exception of full-day unavailabilities, I don’t post my exact schedule for mutual discretion. Since I can accept bookings any time of day, the time you pick will most likely be available. If not, I’ll suggest something else.

The three contestants I’ve been rooting for in the ‘Jeopardy!’ Tournament of Champions have all been eliminated. 😔

Who’s your favourite Pokémon? Mine’s Diglett! 🤎