If my old man really likes Colbert like he says he does, he'd watch tonight's episode live AND play Taps at the end.

I think Satan's thermometer is set too low, because my cousin says a girl she knows who's about my age has a crush on me.

I don't think any other computer brand restarts with no input whatsoever. Just Lenovo.

What the actual hay is going on with Raffi

160: a non-major milestone

Futurama gives me too many feels

i don't want to live on this planet anymore.

Well, I missed the prom this year. I hope you're happy, you stinkin' beaurocrats.

i demand chickens

it is friday my amigos

it is thursday my chums

it is wednesday my dudes [phrog.jpg]

toast is good. I'm here all week!

spoangeboab

150th post i did it

Shave and a Haircut is a terrible signal. First thing intruders guess.

Wanna piss off people quickly and effectively? Do politics!

i bet i can make 150 today

4+ posts in one day really says something eh?

yes i have a damn life

This guy Cypris I know has a ringtone that goes "HALLOMOTOR". What the heck is a hallomotor?

i suck at passwords

Happy Mother's Day to my future kids' mom (whoever you are)

Pixar owns RenderMan. Mojang ought to have instead because enderman.

That's no-oh wait never mind that actually is a moon #StarWarsDay #SpaceEngine

Wish I could find a way to pull a Fry. (But only until 2100. 3000's got too much culture shock)

I have SECRET KNOWLEDGE!

What kind of stupid bot pings a guy with six followers, two of which were banned for also being bots and the most notable of which is a goofy weird kid? (no offense pep)

900 years ago was a much more enlightened time. Back then you could go out on a horse in full armor and slice a guy to death because he looked at you funny.

For a galaxy that's supposed to be far, far away, the Star Wars galaxy sure seems an awful lot like the Milky Way. 120,000 light-years in diameter, 400 billion stars, two major satellite galaxies, 200 globular clusters, a 4 million solar mass black hole? Come on.

Ava Neal's song Blue Light is perfect for planets getting blown up

BREAKING: Artemis II has a fifth astronaut onboard bsky.app/profile/spah...

I know I'm going to see something decidedly unfunny when my old man says "Look at this funny thing"

I am fucking drunk

Today marks the 5th anniversary of the day I met Abby Freie, the evilest girl on Earth. (Lawyer? Why even ask?)

I watched my debut YouTube video with my aunt today and neither her nor me (who usually watches with adblockers) approved of the ad choices.

The new Herdcraft april fool's joke for Mincraft is impossible

In the future, you'll need a physics degree to get a space pilot's license.

The Pigeon is not allowed to drive the bus WHY? I say let The Pigeon drive.

I can't sleep and someone should do a bill wurtz style history of the star wars galaxy

I don't get the appeal of cat pics. Rabbit pics are way cuter.

Rule 87 of the internet: Every large carnivorous dinosaur is named Bertha.

Prediction: the last episode of The Simpsons will air in 9736.

Literally EVERY depiction of a colony on Venus I've seen is Cloud City on Bespin

oh hey it's drunk green irish day

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Finally watched Zootopia 2. I think the first one was better. (I'm not saying Zootopia 2 is a BAD film, I just like the original better.)

Is it possible to make a YTP of Ava's music? TRY ME.

Interesting thought: the 70th anniversary of the Kennedy assassination will be 11/22/33

I discovered this terrible translation of Rogue One into Chinese and back ala Backstroke of the West I will now be calling Jyn Erso "Piano"