My bake for work this week completely fell apart and I’m too tired to make another one and also wow I’m still so tired I need more time off and also probably a good cry.

Welp, if Sydney Sweeney is doing the intro for the World Series game tonight then frankly we deserve to lose.

NA pals - this is fuckin’ delicious and honestly could also easily double as an NA whiskey replacement in a cocktail, somehow.

Figuring out why Dieter Ruehle, stadium organist for the Dodgers, is playing certain songs at certain times is one of my favorite games. Tonight, so far, “I am the Walrus” by The Beatles when Edman was at bad (eggman=Edman 😂).

It’s October, and 82% of everything I make is going to be pumpkin related. Hope y’all are okay with that. 🎃 🍰 🍽️ Behold: King Arthur Baking Company’s Pumpkin Espresso Bundt Cake. Thank fuck I have my mom’s (maybe grandma’s?) Bundt cake pan, because no way in hell I would ever think to purchase one.

I will have had a whopping five days off in October and let me tell you, I am feeling it really hard right now. Tired to the point that I feel slightly teary.

I’m gonna say this with my full chest: I get this comment a lot. I post the source and the title of the recipe in every. Single. Post. If you can’t search the internet, that’s on you, my brother.

The other bakes I’ve made that happened to be on @kingarthurbaking.bsky.social’s Best of Fall list, so far, have been a coincidence; this one was very intentional. 🎃 🥧 🍽️ These are their Pumpkin Pie Bars for this week’s work treat.

There's a very specific feeling that I used to get around this time of year that I miss maybe more than any other feeling, and I'll never get it back because it's not possible. I miss the feeling of being at my childhood home, with my extended family, slightly too warm, in front of the fireplace >>

We decidedly do not love shooting up at 5 AM out of a dead sleep, seemingly for no reason at all, feeling fully awake and slightly edgy.

Cracked my back so loud I heard it echo in the harbor 👍

Four Midwesterners at a four-way stop, none exactly sure which stopped first, all too polite to make the first move. It was a hell of a standoff.

My dear, old friend Carl released a beautiful new record today. The goof even let me sing on one of the tracks. ❤️ Please listen and soak it in. He’s too good for us. carlhauck.bandcamp.com/album/death-...

I have purchased a new tablet. I have paired it with a Bluetooth keyboard with a very pleasant clicking noise. I may now discard of my barely functioning MacBook Air, which I realized the other day is...10 years old. 😳 Planned obsolescence ain't got nothin' on me.

Tapping your fingernails on a product in any given ad is a sure fire way to guarantee that I will not be purchasing that product.

I always make half a pot of coffee when I first wake up and I chugged it so fast today I am considering making a second half pot at 9am. Not sure what that says about today.

Welp. Chef is on vacation for two weeks (GOOD, WELL DESERVED, I AM PROUD OF YOU SIR ❤️) but: my sweet coworker just lost her grandpa so she’s out for the week, too, and we just had to let go of a new hire that wasn’t working out. There are four of us in the kitchen today (usually 7). I have the fear.

I’ve made a lot of apple/cinnamon stuff in my time…and this may be my favorite of all the apple cinnamon things. Why is it so good? Is it the potato flakes? IS IT THE POTATO FLAKES?? Anyway this is @kingarthurbaking.bsky.social’a Cinnamon Apple Twist Bread 🍞 🍎 🍂 🍽️

Honestly always but especially in these times, normalize crying in your car. Stop staring at me bro I need this.

Even as a fully lapsed Catholic and cheerful atheist, I am more than willing to admit that this is some of the hardest shit I have ever heard and my hat is off to you, Father.

You absolutely love a Saturday in the kitchen when you don’t fully get your ass kicked by the general public 🙏

NOPE it is a female Venezuelan activist and nothing could possibly be as delicious ❤️❤️❤️❤️

If he gets the Nobel I will self immolate.

Sometimes, very occasionally, Wisconsin is magic.

I do love my job but can someone please explain to me why I’m getting ready to go to my little job and do my little cooking when it feels like the country is literally and figuratively collapsing, like why am I doing this

Hot damn I do be lovin’ pumpkin stuff. Can’t help it. I’m a white Midwesterner. It’s in our blood. For the coworkers this week, King Arthur Baking Company’s Chocolate-Pumpkin Crumb Cake. I feel like you should share this with your grandpa over a cup of strong coffee after raking or something. 🎃🍰🍽️

Proud to take part in the time honored Midwestern tradition of loudly shaming people who are rude to cashiers for no reason. 🫡

I am scared.

Everything Trump is doing now is a preamble for his regime's real goal: to invoke the Insurrection Act. I don’t want to unduly alarm you, but you need to be aware of this imminent danger. It’s unfolding very rapidly. https://robertreich.substack.com/p/trumps-plan

Visiting the MIL and brangin’ treats. King Arthur Baking Company’s Fudgy-Chewy Pumpkin Cookies. I am obsessed with these and I don’t know what else to say about them. Other than that they’re full of brown butter.🎃 🍪 🍽️

Got to drive past a bunch of this en route to work just now, which was nice. www.mobilize.us/indivisible/...

I’m not a nice person anymore and it makes me incredibly sad. I’ve always placed a high premium on politeness/kindness, perhaps to a fault. It’s how I was raised. I truly don’t care anymore. I’m rude and dismissive, I’ll tell you you’re being a dumbass to your face, and I hate it.

And on this day, we 86d beef teriyaki. Because we sold out of it. We sold out of beef at a sushi restaurant. At a certain point I was just trimming steaks and throwing them into pans for my life. It was ridiculous. I IMPLORE YOU, PLZ ORDER THE FISH IT IS VERY TASTY THANK YOU

@rickgeerling.bsky.social watching a funny video, cry-laughing: “I was grumpy before this!” “Why were you grumpy?” “I had to wake up.” Fair.

Made The Sauce for the Secret Cheesecake Project at work. This is *my* creation. (Can’t wait to tell you what it actually is.) Chef’s obsessed. I (humbly) think it’s quite tasty. The working title is Goth Sauce. I was gonna write spooky but ran out of room and it doesn’t matter. 👻 🍽️ 🍰

Pies intimidate the hell out of me. I love making them, but sometimes I want pie energy with less stress. Voila - King Arthur Baking Company’s Apple Pie Bars. I believe serving these without either ice cream or whipped cream is illegal, so do bear that in mind if you make them. 🍎 🥧 🍂 🍽️

Imagine your sense of perspective being so warped that you call people from their actual real jobs across the country to an emergency gathering to tell them that you’re scared of fat people. As I always say, no one is going to do anything and nothing will change, but super wild and funny anyway!

I don’t want this to be as good as it was. It doesn’t LOOK good. But I saw king trumpet mushrooms in the store & I’ve always wanted to try vegetarian scallops. Fully scrumptious!! Butter & Tony c’s, seared in a pan (which I’ll do harder next time. I was just scared because they’re lil ‘shrooms.) 🍽️

Challah turned out lovely 🥹 Mostly sliced it up and gave it to the neighbors, but reserved 1/4 loaf as tax. 🍽️

Just spending the afternoon with my best girl.

Shroud of Turin but make it challah.

Working on my challah game is kind of a forever project, but I’m very happy with how this turned out! Funny enough, this King Arthur Baking Company recipe is called ‘Molly’s Challah’ (it’s by Molly Yeh), so it felt appropriate. Threw some chocolate chips in there for dem shits and giggles. 🍞 🥚 🍫 🍽️

To the table that ordered six simultaneous teriyakis tonight…I’m coming for you. I don’t know how I’ll find you, but I’m coming for you.

As a 6-year veteran of said company, could not be more delighted to hear it. May they all close as fast as possible. The coffee is 85% trash and the company could not give one single fuck about their employees. I cried almost every day for the last year I was there.

God learning sushi is fucking hard and intimidating but THAT’S IMPROVEMENT BABY!!! This and a few others went out to real paying customers today. 🍣 🍽️

Another false rapture, another disappointment.

When the instructions include concentrating down the pumpkin before baking for ultimate pumpkinness, I am bound to be delighted. King Arthur Baking Company’s The Most Pumpkin Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Bread. Added a vanilla cinnamon icing because it seemed right to. 🎃 🍞 🍽️

Please dry quickly so I can slice you. 🍽️ #pumpkinbread

If you are in line for the rapture, STAY IN LINE

I’ll say the same thing I always say when there’s a big rapture prediction, but ESPECIALLY now: 🤞🤞🤞 anything’s better than this!