If Gex were released today everyone would accuse his lines of being AI generated

Why don’t tornados take fall damage

If blood pressure can be high why doesn’t that make mosquitos and ticks explode the moment they start sucking that shit

This can’t be watermelon My four lokos never taste this good

Giving burnt ends another try

What if they did red smoke just to see how everyone reacts

It Sunday

Kicked out of the hotel for browsing the lobby pc like this

That blows

She will be judging my timing tonight

Quit dancing around us like this

It’s flat fuck Friday

always rough spending the night away from her

Just heard the lunk alarm at planet fitness for the first time and that mf scared the piss out of me. Not Midwest friendly

I need customers to stop throwing food at me every other stop and getting offended when I decline because I hate wasting food. Keep the BBQ coming tho.

Dollar Generals are closing at the same rate taco trucks are popping up. This is the correction I need

If anyone got eyes on Uncle Sam tell him I’m looking for him

❌incorrect❌ Escelator

Is that even legal

What am I suppose to call a pad miss when I’m playing with a controller

I have company over for maybe two hours and then the girls come out afterwords and start scanning the whole house like roombas on their first run

When the signs says "no trucks allowed" but I have a delivery down the road

You vs the guys she tells you not to worry about

Grocers when you pull up with the 15 pallet order they approved two days ago.

Blondie must be a Crazy Taxi fan

It’s game over for Walmart

local dance cabs when they see a group of kids with snow/salt covered boots approaching

Tomorrow is canceled. Plop on the couch and get to binging

Starting to looks like that one dkc level I hate

This year we are criminalizing old people. Wrinkles? Jail Back hurts? Lethal injection Tapioca pudding with dinner? Life sentence

29days

20025

Rural routes are when all there is to deliver to is dollar general and Casey’s, oh and we got cows by the lot

Waking up with random pains in your 30’s and never knowing if you need to see someone about it or just having to ride it out for a week and then it goes away

Get the milk ready

Where is my Xbox controller

Petitioning planet fitness to bring back the lunk alarm for anyone facetiming at max volume

when they seat you at the end of the sushi belt

Those Walmart carts gutted that bitch like vultures

you fools have been sitting on a goldmine

I don't care what our age difference is, don't call me young man until my back stops hurting.

Sea life kc animal crossing tour was legit

Expiration codes in place of expiration dates shouldn’t be legal. Maybe then I wouldn’t have brought home moldy buns from the store

This retro arcade at the mall has ddr universe running with one of those older arcade style pads and I’m half tempted to pay the entry to see how it is

What do they do with the rest of the lobster when you buy lobster tails

I quit

Buc-ees picked the one area in Kansas City that doesn’t have a QuikTrip nearby. We can have both without them going to war

ooh, piece of annie!

When are we gonna see SMX in every bowling ally or is that not gonna be a thing?

such is life