Okay, we have a new Khamenei in charge, mission accomplished, let’s go home.

If Netanyahu lets the Republicans end this war early, maybe our 401ks won’t completely evaporate.

Some dog is getting shot tonight.

After watching The Pitt, I am now considered a “doctor” in some states. So I am proscribing a martini to go with arancini at @giobatta.tivoli. This is to, you know, cut through the carbs.

So we started a regional war with an idiot running the defense dept?

Trump proposes Delcy Rodriguez as Iran’s next Supreme Leader.

Watching The Pitt reminds me of when I was an R-1 at Bellevue in the 90s. The staff were overworked and we always had to make do with less, but I’ll never forget the docs who let me believe I was a fellow physician and not a patient.

Day 1 of the Epstein War.

On garyshteyngart.substack.com I post a lot of pictures of food in Andalusia. You should look at them.

Stranded in Barcelona for days. Flights to the Fatherland cancelled. Must learn to make a new life for myself.

Triana’s famed rojo-blanco. Raspberry with just a hint of cocaine to get you through the morning.

Thanks for re-reading.

It begins.

TSA pat down guy really did a number on my balls. Our country is all about inflicting pain.

I’m reading so much good stuff these days. Learnin’ all about the Bund from the inimitable @mollycrabapple and the shadows of the Holocaust co-edited and co-translated by my doppelgänger @returnstosender. Bund will be out later this year and the Holocaust shadows are already here!

The perfect diamond of a khinkali at @chitogvritonyc

Omg, I’m in the Epstein files! Some MIT prof asks the big Ep if he could invite me or Jeff Koons to a dinner party. Epstein’s like nah, just come by yourself. I guess I’m not part of the Epstein Class!

On garyshteyngart.substack.com I eat like a crazy person down in Savannah, gaining a lot of weight and respect for the city’s culinary scene.

Savannah people! Come see me tomorrow bright and early 9am at the Lutheran Church Sanctuary, Wright Square!

Bernie is smiling because Vera ebooks are on sale for just $1.99 until February 11th!!! All proceeds to go directly into his long dachshund tummy. It’s a win-woof situation

Spent five days at home dreaming of better climes and saner countries, but the arrival of @markchodotcom drew me out across the frozen tundra.

This storm is bullshit. Going to get all 15,000 steps in today then get drunk to celebrate.

This isn’t about immigration anymore. It’s about killing non-fascists.

On garyshteyngart.substack.com Dry Martini January continues with food notes from all over, including possibly the only good restaurant in Morningside Heights.

As I tell my financial planner, all TACO all the time.

Lol, younger folks and most of his voters don’t even know what the nobel is. He’s so 80s.

As the US transitions out of democracy, democratic nations in Europe, as well as Canada, Japan, South Korea, Australia, etc., need to form strategic and economic alliances.

On garyshteyngart.substack.com, I explore why Toronto isn’t just a great place to flee to, but also just legitimately a great place.

The Key West City Commissioners have respectfully asked me to leave because I have eaten the community’s entire strategic stone crab reserve.

Key West breakfast of champions. See you on Saturday at 11:50 at the San Carlos Institute. @keywestliteraryseminar

I am killing Dry January with this somewhat dry vitello tonnato. Thank god the wine is plenty wet!

Sigh.

The German silver of the dial on @naoya_hida_co.official watches looks even more amazing in certain lighting. The engraving is insane, too.

2026 is gonna suuuuck!!!!!

Uzbeks: Why can’t you be more like us? Me: Ok… Uzbeks: Oh, god, never mind.

Short enough to be read twice!

Desperately need a yurt for my royal reception area.

Coffee with minaret, very nice.

Time for a spot of tea in Bukhara. With some herring and potatoes for nostalgic purposes.

Samarkand is nice town.

Vera has landed on 20 best-of-the-year lists including these wonderful publications! Pick up a copy for the holidays.

Landed in Tashkent, plov. Samarkand, plov. Bukhara, plov. Plov, plov, plov. “Please don’t eat all our plov, Mr. Gary!” But he ate it anyway.

Thank you!!!

See you tonight at the Toronto Reserve Library!

Pearson is too far. One day I wish to land at the maritime Billy Budd airport.

On garyshteyngart.substack.com I conquer 50 of the restaurants on the NYT list. Get ready for some crazy eatins.

More schlong!

I’ll sign anything!

Trump’s America is just a giant reichstag in search of a fire.