Me, as a therapist: tea?

Having experienced quite a difference between the day we used the pram and the day we didn’t I think I’ve accepted that it might be time for me to start using a walker. It’s not the movey forward my legs struggle with it’s the staying upright.

Fuck off. It’s my favourite painkiller.

Toddles new game is running wound and wound the dinner table and apparently she would like me to join in with that (lol no)

That’s gonna send the racists into a tailspin.

Good job you didn’t contribute to it, eh?

I’ve introduced Jack to Just Good Friends… he doesn’t love it.

Jack: Shall we go for a walk?? Toddles: YEAH!! BYE MUMMY!!! I guess she’s worked out where my skills and preferences lie innit.

Yes, "pregnant people" is inclusive language that describes pregnant cis women AS WELL AS trans men and nonbinary people, a lot of whom can get pregnant. But it also describes, like, 12-year-old girls who get pregnant. Do centrist pig-dogs think THEY are "women" too? Coz...bit of a red flag, that.

We’ve come to Centre Parcs. Toddles is very excited by being in the lodge. Look mummy, look!! *points at dressing table seat*

Probably when we bitched at people for being on their phones all the time.

My friend’s funeral was the weirdest school reunion ever but a moment that made me laugh was when a girl I haven’t seen since the last day of 6th Form looked at me and said… well you haven’t changed.

Connections Puzzle #882 🟨🟩🟨🟨 🟩🟨🟨🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟨🟨🟨🟨 🟦🟦🟦🟦 🟪🟪🟪🟪 If anybody on earth got purple first I’ll eat my cat.

I’m shit at reverse flies 😭

Cleaned the toilets earlier so now no one is allowed to poo.

Watermelon

According to an overheard phone conversation between my dad and his mate Lloyd… it takes a while for the swelling to go down enough for this to be a concern.

This is exactly how he will be remembered

I think I want Alex and JoJo to win #Strictly

We’ve just told Toddles that she is going on holiday next week to see Santa and she’s v excited even though I’m pretty sure she has no idea what that means.

Something has happened with our neighbours. The police were round and the fella has disappeared. We thought we were moving away from this malarky.

Went to my friend’s funeral. It was the Most horrible school reunion I’ve ever been to but it was really nice to see so many people. There’s not many people in life you’ve known since you were 4 and it was very nice to be surrounded by that today.

"We voted Joe Marler out by mistake!" #TheTraitors #CelebrityTraitors

Connections Puzzle #880 🟨🟨🟨🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟦🟦🟦🟦 🟪🟪🟪🟪 Too wasy

Poor Joe Marler. He was the People’s Princess.

Jack has just got home (he missed the final because he was out) so now I have to pretend I don’t know what I know.

What a fucking travesty.

Alan wasn’t that good, Nick and David were just crap.

You stupid twats #TheTraitors

Right. I hope Alan wins now, you fuckers #TheTraitors

You fucking bellends #TheTraitors

Oh Nick, don’t fuck over Joe #TheTraitors

It’s really quite a thing to behold that both parties destroyed themselves fighting internal wars. Silly sausages

Massive anxiety about tomorrow

Which one is more English?

It’s my friend’s funeral on Friday and I just do not want to go. Last time I saw her I said I’d see her soon (I knew I wouldn’t) and we left if like that but if I go on Friday then I never will see her again but if I don’t then there is always the possibility…. Have I gone mad?

Was dead excited for The Traitors tonight and it wasn’t even on 😭

I’m not sure what is worse; cats who are scared of fireworks or cats who aren’t bothered and climb the walls wanting out when you’re keeping them inside for their own good.

Getting a bit sick of the concerned chat at nursery pick up.

Same

It’s not about fighting over existing voters, it’s about drawing in new voters.

Oh well 🤷🏻‍♀️

New driving fear unlocked

Good. Fuckos

Very happy and relieved to wake up to the news from New York. This is the fight back.

This is yet another example of how you beat the far right. By beating them, not trying to be them. By having your own agenda, not aping theirs. With courage and conviction - and humour - not fear and timidity.

Wiggles has had approximately 1 poo an hour today.

Looks like Cumbria is on for the first flood of the season.

This account smells of tea and chocolate brownies