// WAY TO GIMME A MINI HEART ATTACK DAMN APP SIGNED ME OUT ;U;

// Note to self: don't drink a Monster Coffee and energy drink so close together... Especially, when you have anxiety. 😅

Yuffie grinned cheekily, "What, this?" She asked, holding the mobile device up tauntingly to the side of her head out of his reach. However, being that she was shorter and he was taller, he would have no problem snatching it from her if given the chance— And she had no intention of giving him—

"What's so hard about it? Just take her somewhere romantic and pop the question! It's not rocket science." If Cid could do it, why couldn't he? 𝘗𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘺 '𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘊𝘪𝘥 𝘪𝘴. thought Yuffie, answering her own question.

// Gotta love when you have a headache and the neighbors insist on doing drill and hammering work.

"The blender's busted, so no milkshake. I did have a double bacon cheeseburger earlier, though... You should give 'em a try. Tifa makes the best in town."

She's just chilling in Tifa's bar, eating Cheetos.

// Whoever gets to go to the Ever Crisis x Boba Bear event later this month, DRINK A MATERIA DRINK FOR ME (because I don't get to go ;u;) *cries*

"Hey, Cloud, why haven't ya asked Tifa to marry you, yet?" @loyalmercenary.bsky.social

Grins, laughing triumphantly. "I got a picture of Cloud's face!" And did he look hilarious! Like a puppy that had been caught red-handed chewing on the roll of toilet paper in the bathroom! And yes, she emailed it to Tifa. Hehe...

A few seconds was all it took to grab her phone from the pocket of her shorts and snap a picture of the look on Cloud's face. Which was hilarious, by the way... Hehe. Giving him a cheeky grin, Yuffie giggled. "Gotcha!" He seriously made it waaay too easy! All she had to do was mention her—

"I usually just shove it in after I blow on it a few times, no reasoning required. My stomach does all of the thinking... Hehe."

"Don't feel bad. I burned mine on my burrito the other day. Took a whole 24 hours just for it to go away... My fault for not waiting a few minutes before I bit into it."

"No idea. But whoever it is, should have their fashion license revoked..."

// It would be ever so twee if I could stop getting headaches ;u;

// BOOKMARKS AND GIFS BOOKMARKS AND GIFS BUT MOSTLY BOOKMARKS

"There's a reason they're called ugg-ly."

// Gentle reminder that Yuffie still has that giant cage booby trap downstairs in her dojo.

// Racist just hit me with a taco gif on FB. I can't tell if that's a shot at my heritage or because I'm a woman... Either way, dude is a weirdo. And I gained more EXP. XDD

// Vincent forgetting about Yuffie's tendency to booby trap her house is hilarious. LMFAO 🤣

"I'll sleep just fine, thanks." Especially with the knowledge that she had refreshed the booby traps she had laid out. And added new ones, too.

"You know what, I take it back. You are definitely a zombie." A weird toe-stealing zombie.

"Just kidding! He's definitely a vampire."

"A vampire? Everybody knows that Vincent's a zombie."

// Should I wake up or go back to sleep? That is the question.

// So, by the FF7 timeline, since it's two years after Dirge of Cerberus in my headcanon for Yuffie, the year would be εγλ 0012? Huh.

She half expected him to tell her to shut up much like he had years ago in response to her teasing. And much like it had been years ago, her response was the same. "Busted!" He totally was! There was no denying it.

"Who says I'm judging?"

👍

🚬He/Him/They, Midgarian 🚬6'0"<⁠—> 182cm 🚬SOLDIER Second Class 🚬Aromantic pansexual ⏞ 18+only #FFVIIRP #OC #RP #AphroditeWT ⏟

Not enough, evidently—if Dara was offering her tea. "Hot leaf juice is hot leaf juice, no matter what it's called!""

"Cloud's definitely thinking about Tifa's boobs."

"I'll pass on the hot leaf juice, thanks. And it's Yuffie." Tea was more her old man's thing. Him and his love for green tea was something that she would never understand. Unless it came in the form of a matcha latte, she didn't want it.

Unfortunately for Cloud, Yuffie had no intention of letting up her merciless onslaught of teasing jabs anytime soon. He could try to ignore the intrusive thoughts all he wanted, but the fact of the matter was that they were there—and if she had her way—they were there to stay.

// I think the energy drink is wearing off 😵

Oh, but she wasn't even close to being done! The corners of her lips curling further upwards in an impish grin, the absolute gutter-brained menace of a ninja went in for the kill. "You know, if you asked really nicely, I bet she'd let ya touch 'em..." She snickered, raising her hands to make—

// Yuffie's being an absolute perv (and menace) to poor Cloud and I am trying so hard to be quiet because it's after 11:00 PM, but I keep LMFAOing 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

"Psst. Do you know... The Muffin Man? He lives with Vincent in the old Shinra Manor basement."

"Alright! Dara gave me muffins!"

Beams proudly. "That's me! And you're Dara, right? Vincent's inamorato, right?" Though, the more appropriate term would be 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥.

Snickers. "Magic balls..."

What was it about Tifa that made him run away like his ass was on fire? Was it because she was intimidating? She wasn't 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 scary... Well, she could be when she wanted to be, but mostly, Tifa was a sweetheart. A bit on the reticent side, but that was just Tifa. Yuffie frowned—

"What sleeves?" Yuffie asked, holding up her bare arms for him to see. "I have no sleeves." She was sleeveless! "You, on the other hand, have 2! If anyone should be concerned, it should be me!" That's right. Poor innocent Yuffie! He could be planning to smack her again and—

"What's the opposite of Cloud and Tifa sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G?" Because whatever it was, that was what was happening. Honestly, the best way to describe the two of them was: turtles. Sure, slow and steady won the race, but it didn't help that they—

"Shame on you, Cloud. Shaaaame." Not that he was wrong about her intentions— He had hit the nail right on the head. The question was: would Tifa believe her story? Yuffie truly thought so. After all, she could be very persuasive.

"It's a shame, really... You two would make beautiful babies." Yuffie sighed, palms turned upwards as she shrugged her shoulders, shaking her head, the black and white tails of her headband swaying with the movement. "Of course, you'd actually have to 𝘥𝘰 𝘪𝘵 for that to happen, and we all know—

"The fact that you doubt my integrity says more about you than it does about me." Yuffie replied with a light frown, sounding almost as if she was scolding a young child. "Honestly, Cloud... How did you get to be so cynical?" It was a sad day indeed, when Cloud Strife of—

Damn, he really knew how to go for the jugular. Did he really know her that well? Feigning an innocent persona, Yuffie altered her tone to sound offended. "The truth, of course!" She lied. While deliberately omitting certain details to make herself look good.