I wish to someday, have my back feel not fucked up. I need to see a masseuse or something.

Nightmares suck so much, can barely go a night without one. Recent one was gorey and had me paranoid about the safety of me and my family.

Moving my legs in any way at all is so bad right now... I need to get back into doing those stretches the phys therapist gave me for my lower back... (Being wildly out of shape and carrying heavy tubs of stuff down a flight of stairs was a BAD idea)

I wish I were at home. I miss my bed. My blanket. But most of all- My Toilet. My fat ass is too big for the circle seat.

Why won't my body let me start drawing? I have everything in my head I just need to get it out. I need my hands to move but the blank canvas taunts me.

Saturday is apparently our day to visit and transport people. And Sunday will be weekly groceries instead... I had plans but I guess I gotta change them.

The disconnect between brain and body. Why won't you move how I want to? I guess I'll just sleep. Trapped in this room. In this bed. In this body.

ppl who still commission their favourite artists even in this era where everyone is broke and genAI is being pushed on us at every opportunity—you are appreciated more than words can express!!!

I really wish my brain would let me draw. And also let me feel well enough to stream. I've been so tired and mentally unwell and I just wanna hang out.

Today is my birthday and I'm awake too early. Back to sleep for meeeeeeee.

I keep getting the urge to draw something but it's a nebulous sorta desire. Where it's just some desparate feeling to be in the process of creating. I don't know what I want to draw, but I feel like I'm gonna explode if I don't. And then I get frustrated staring at the canvas bc poses are hard.

Another day, another wish that I could want to draw things that other people wanna see. I know I can draw whatever I want but also... what do I even want? I just wish the depression would let up enough for me to figure out. And enough to then draw.

Today is the last day that you can repost this image

Hoping my evil message reaches those who need to hear it most, this coming year

A sketch really does make things different

What if I start making like, yearly avatars? Like, I think I'll stick with Ursa for this next year (2026) as well, and design a new character for the next year (2027), in December.

I wish I could have one night of being extremely comfortable without pain. And to have my brain not sabotage my attempts at working on important things. (I start working and The Fog sets in, and then I panic due to not working at that moment, and then anxiety spiral)

I drew femboy cock last night (After complaining and getting distracted for 4 hours), be proud of me

Being artist is suffering (1 milbillion brush strokes and nothing to show for it)

the original got wiped from the internet. but you can never get rid of luigi house, but it mansion

Hate that I have to have a subscription to trade pokemon in za I ONLY have trade evos left to get! Thay's IT.

I'm post game in Legends ZA and am only NOW seeing posts about Corbeau HE'S THE WIZARD WHO'S CURSED MY DICK. MY SHORT KING.

Maybe I should like. Add sketches or b/w or grayscale options for when I rework my comms

I really wish that I had any passion left in me towards creating things. Like, the depression is suffocating. I have ideas! Just. Not any drive. I wish my art felt worthwhile anymore.

Stomach is messing me up a lot and this sucks I have some homework I have to catch up on and I kinda wanna draw. I wish this could all just slow down and stop.

MY TUITION BILL GOT PAID OFF (i forgot that there was the possibility of them sending me the state grant as well) So uh- comms not as necessary now but it'd still be appreciated

ko-fi.com/mellonkoli/g... Hi everyone! I need help with making sure I have this semester covered! I BARELY got my financial aid reinstated and am glad to be having to pay less than $1k. Instead of the near $3k if it hadn't been reinstated. I have #commissions open on my ko-fi!

Planning to rearrange my room. My bed's placed over the heatet vent and I kinda need that to be unobstructed for the winter. ...I've gotta get rid of some things. Like the boots that don't fit. And maybe some other things in my storage tubs.

Been outside for almost 4 hours, sun's nice but now my feet hurt. We haven't gone to get groceries yet so I have. Made A Mistake.

I forgot to post her after last night's stream! My dear Hena! #ocsky

Hate that OBS ruined my plans for streaming last night. Had to get rid of EVERYTHING to fix it (uninstalling and reinstalling then booting in safe mode didn't fix it) Only a fraction of a time would it let me do anything. Was just trying to record to check some audio and OBS said no.

www.twitch.tv/mellonkoli Come hang out while I work on something

I have some fuzz growing at the corners of my jaw!!! My body really is deciding that if I'm not on prog, that it needs to up the T symptoms/traits

This has not been a good few past days. I need to work on art/comms but my room's been too warm while I'm awake. Plus my internet's been getting a bit spotty. Bro cmon. I wanna drawwwwwwww. And not be insanely tired.

wow, as an artist, i really should be posting more on social media! why am i not doing that? *doesn’t draw* *doesn’t draw* *doesn’t draw* *doesn’t draw* *doesn’t draw* *doesn’t draw* *doesn’t d

it's one of those days I suppose

If this ceiling fan decides to try to not explode, I have a feeling I'll be streaming again soon (Have been on break bc brain stupid and depressed, and also bc my room gets too warm too quick with my pc on)

You didn't think we'd forget about you two, did you? All payment processors get love! :) While Mastercard and Visa are drowning, these two have been feeling a bit neglected. u_u stop-paypros.neocities.org #SaveSpeech

There are certain men who make me feral. Both are depressed. One is a blue haired little shit, and the other likes making puns. Their asses are not surviving my onslaught.

Hey if you hate censorship and want to do more than just doompost online, you can actually do something: Being annoying! Hoards of people have been blowing up the phones of payment processing companies to pressure them not to bend to the whims of puritan groups. stop-paypros.neocities.org

People are sharing a lot of resources on how to make your own website so I've updated the website-building section of my site with a link to some of the best I've found. PLEASE make your own website, it is fun (sometimes)! Fast (sometimes)!! Free (sometimes)!!! 💻 evegwood.com/links#resour...

sleep deprivation

At the powwow and damn am I sweaty. Got some ice cream at least, though I'll die later.

Ran out of my anxiety meds. I have no insurance for a visit to my psych. It's gonna get rough.

给小虫缝衣服

Some day I'll figure out how to fill out vgen's commission service fields and such. But not today.