That mass shooting was the 130th mass shooting that had occurred already that year. America averages more than one mass shooting a day. Charlie Kirk was a staunch believer that any and all gun violence in America was the “price of liberty”… when it was other people’s children and loved ones.

If we all just jump-scared one Boomer a day each… we could fix so much shit in about a month. We’re just about 50 million “slip n’ falls” away from our future, kids!

If the Earth was really flat, I’d have pushed most of you off it by now.

Fire arms kill more children ages 1-17 every year in the U.S. than any other causes including car crashes and cancer. Stop pretending to care about children and actually do something.

If Ron DeSantis keeps taking away our rights, we should be allowed to take away his high heels.

If Karens were food they’d be Eggs Benedict.

The Venn diagram of Cracker Barrel originalists and Confederate preservationists is a circle. And that circle is drawn in mayonnaise and has raisins in the middle of it.

This is the James Bond we need… and the James Bond we deserve! #junesquibb #jamesbond #meme #memes #funny

How’s your fucking day going? -sent from the bathroom of the Grand Hyatt Athens which is now my tomb.

Celebrating 15 years of having the “Last Laugh” with Atlantis Events! Let’s go, homos! 💜😂🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🦄

Where are you today? I’m at a 3 right now but I’ll be at 8 later. #elizabethtaylor #meme #foryou

Lots on my mind tonight. Journaling didn’t get it all out. Xanax not really coaxing sleep into bed with me. Guess I’ll catch up on this light and lovely jaunt through other people’s epic failures. Misery loves late-night company. #book #books #bookworm #reading #history

How long we giving Gloria Gaynor to try and sell us “I’m going to there bridge the divide with music,” before we remind her of the millions of people who already haven’t survived under this dick-tater?

When I was growing up, being Sunny von Bülow was sold to us as a sort of sad, cautionary tale. Right now, I would KILL to have spent the first half of my life in tremendously wealthy bad marriages and then the second half in a coma. Like, who is not wishing for “rich-lady coma” right now?!

Sunday Funday! #memes #funny #comedy

Have you ever wished Kid Rock was a podcast? No? Well, too bad! Because here’s Theo Von anyway!

Dean Cain is the Kevin Sorbo of Scott Baios

If you thought religious belief requires a black-belt in cognitive dissonance… wait until you meet… American patriotism! (Eagle screeching sound)

Who remembers being obsessed with how this woman would just dead-pan lie to people with a real smoker’s confidence?! And had Montel wrapped around her acrylic nail?! #sylviabrowne #psychic #tv #90s #2000s

Kids, we still can’t get Coke and Pepsi to be in the same restaurant together. So good luck with this whole “World Peace” thing. For the record, I am a staunch supporter of both of these European dreams.

No matter what happens in my life, I always seem to wake up the next morning. It’s honestly getting annoying.

Be gentle to Gen Xers this week. We’re, simultaneously, trying to process how American Eagle is still in business, while also figuring out who Sydney Sweeney is.

If at first you don’t suck seed, three margaritas and a bump should get you there. -Dorothy Parker (if she was a present day demon twink)

TONIGHT! MOBILE, ALABAMA! This town is a hoot and a holler and I can’t wait to take the stage at B-Bob’s Downtown for #mobilebleatherweekend! LINK IN BIO for more info. #comedy

THIS SATURDAY… this little piggy goes to Mobile, Alabama for the 1st time!! See you at Mobile Bleather Weekend! #comedy #lgbtqia #lgbtq

You know you’ve made it when they start advertising your mere presence in an airport! #comedian #tourlife #travel #ilovemyjob

Here goes TWO LAST LAUGH SHOWS on a gaymazing 9 day cruise around the Mediterranean and Morocco! #grateful #lgbtq #comedian #tourlife

One of my favorite little ports in Spain. So many run off to Seville. And Seville is lovely. But I always havr a gorgeous, relaxing day in Cadiz when I’m here. #travel #spain #ilovemyjob

HEY MOBILE! I can’t wait to get some belly laughs from all your Bears (and assorted other creatures from the alphabet menagerie) NEXT SATURDAY! 7/26! Check out my website for more info: linktr.ee/bradloekle #comedy #lgbtq #alabama

The idea that anything named “Tomorrowland” burst into flames, and is now a pile of rubble and ash, is just more proof that the writer’s room for “2025” are total hacks. I mean… we get it.

Goodbye, great poet. 💜

Cafe. Croissant. Soleil et mer. Je suis un joyeux bouffon! #atlantisevents #france #travel #tourlife #comedian #lgbtq #grateful

Yesterday was a classic day of the highs and lows of travel. But every time I wake up to the beautiful sight of a foreign land… I realize it’s always worth it. 💜 #barcelona #tourlife #europe #comedian

I once kicked a toddler who tried to touch my lunch. So, I assure you, I’m not trying to groom your kid. Trip it? Sure! But never groom.

#memes #funny #fypage #fyp

I just want to remind everyone gagging over The Guilded Age, that we’d all be actually gagging at what the Gilded Age smelled like. 💩

Do you think anyone 75 or older who has their speaker phone on… is aware their speaker phone is on? Because everyone else in every airport and restaurant knows…

Great words from “great men.” #4thofjuly #america #usa #meme #memes #president

Fun Film Fact: Laura Loomer was also the inspiration from the psychotic parasitic twin in “Malignant.”

“Let’s get this party farted!” -Taco Tuesday

I know it’s not very American… but it is very human.

Remember, kids… if you don’t get a fissure this weekend, then the Stonewall Riots were for NOTHING!

Since asparagus is seasonal, does that mean piss queens are too? Do they migrate? Are they literally like Swallows?!

Always reading 2-4 books at a time. Nine, ten… never sleep again. #books #insomnia #reading #poetry #religion

“Happy” Sunday to the the Divided States of Dysphoria. We should have made that name change instead of the Gulf of ‘Merica…. #meme #writers #news #kipling

Monday morning, those U.S. armed forces recruiting centers are gonna be PACKED with all these MAGAt patriots, right? Can The Pillow Guy still enlist?

Illegally occupying cities. Assaulting and illegally arresting senators and government officials. Standup THIS SATURDAY! www.nokings.org

Maybe we can trick the dumbest of us to dehydrate themselves away? Worth a shot! #meme #conspiracy #comedy #water #hydration #maga