Giant built dog men with a layer of soft and eye makeup Save me giant built dog men with a layer of soft and eye makeup

Sorry, [Party Member] has been [Lost in the Endless Vaporous Sea] and overdosed on [Venusian Hyperfent]

Reminder that I make Very Good Dog noises because I am a Very Good Dog

Do you know how badly you have to fuck up to get people in AMERICA to organize a GENERAL STRIKE

New years resolution: stop being afraid of chromaticism

The ancient top right to get a little silly with it when the bottom wants to be super mega sexy serious

The correct measure of a video game as an adult is making you want to kill yourself for the exact right amount of time before letting you win

One of the best parts about being a wife guy in a poly arrangement is getting to refer to my partners as "my better two-thirds" while slapping my knee hard enough to break the sound barrier

Dried pineapple my beloved

Programmable LEDs were invented for one reason and I am going to corrupt that reason to be bisexual Christmas porch lights

Friend: Hey man that was a lot of shrooms, you good? My brain to the aliens in the walls:

Sometimes when I'm on psychedelics and I'm having a spooky moment I think of the scene in The Hobbit where Galadriel banishes Sauron from Dol Guldur and it works 100% of the time youtu.be/KnD_NkGTEXo?...

Kinda dysphoric to have to react with a thumbs up on teams instead of sending them a sticker of a shirtless buff hyena man saluting

is your burger still worth it

humanity really loves fermenting beans man

Hey guys this is my mycosona his name is Xylus he's a spring destroying angel do NOT draw him without express permission!!

Actually kind of relieved that the price of ram and gpus is skyrocketing because it means that one day I will be forced to get off my computer

"Shooting myself in the head so I can get out of writing a paper is inevitable" I scoff, as I voluntarily stick my head into the 500 billion dollar, smog-belching, shoot-yourself-in-the-head-so-you-can-get-out-of-writing-a-paper machine

I like how work laptops get uncomfortably cold if you leave them out. It symbolizes The Evil

RED: I feel my hole on fire BLACK: My hole when he's not there

RED: The blood of angry twinks BLACK: The dark age 30 passed

Worst part of Les Mis by far is how Eponine is a multifaceted redeemed spirit of a character and chud fuckboy Marius still goes for the empty set of tits at the end fuck you rich boy you should've been gunned down at the barricade

(Performatively and covertly signaling to potential vegan suitors that I am well adjusted and sane by mentioning that I take my b12 btw)

Taking my b12 supplement this morning and marvelling at the fact that life exists at all when if I as an organism don't happen to find this specific ass cobalt molecule my brain will decide to get a bunch of holes in it and die

I've changed my mind #RapePawbert

I will NOT be simping for the Israeli lynx pretender known as "Pawbert" I WILL be plowing the endearing Alex Jones coded beaver RAW

Every morning that I wake up before sunrise I put on either public service broadcasting or the disco elysium soundtrack and decide whether I am a steely eyed missile man or a grizzled alcoholic detective about to get his life together, respectively

Things parents were wrong about: -Employment -Music -Gay People Things parents were right about: -holy shit tomatoes are so fucking good man

American Socialism 🤝 Nuclear Spacecraft Propulsion Back on the menu after 60+ years

A real shame what they did to Cuomo in the streets after the results last night but y'know when a majestic working animal breaks its leg it's just gotta be done quickly and humanely

How it feels to have a fractional moment in time where I can feel proud to be an American again

VIVE LE WOKISME

DICK CHENEY IS DEAD AND JARED ISAACMAN'S NASA NOMINATION IS ALIVE

Between The Ferns style podcast called All Dick No Cheney and we film it at his grave

Bro are you really trying to grab my dick while I'm witnessing the Music of The Spheres

Downside of using hinge: feels like trying to sext on linkedin Upside of using hinge: scaring the hoes by subverting the artistic intentions of the generic photo prompts

I put my chud son in a taffy puller every day for a year and this happened

Grabbing the woke milk out of my fridge to make my gay latte and then pulling out a second, thinner, woker milk to make my gay cereal

Started carrying one of these around to take the edge off

not now hoe I'm playing bowmaster prelude

The taco bell drive through app (industry) and its consequences have been a disaster for the doggy race (me)

"I shouldn't stop using AI because corporations are going to blow up the planet anyway" is rick and morty levels of selfish "everything is chemicals" loser nihilism, and we should treat it as such when we encounter it

Accessing my genetic memory like assassin's creed in order to write more generic bisexual man indie rock

catching up!

One time when I met this bottom on a con elevator and got him back to my room he nonchalantly cleaned out with a plastic water bottle that was lying around. It was embarrassingly hot

Captain, on my home world of Vulcan we do not have the primitive earth devices knows as "condoms."

I've had enough. I'm going to the one online public square that hasn't yet been compromised by the "state" of Israel

When I was like six I had a crush on an Applebee's hostess and my grandma bought me roses to give to her so what I'm trying to say is that I was born and raised with the love of the game

My version of body dysmorphia is when Spotify adds suggested songs to my playlist and I have to painstakingly remove every single Radiohead song while knowing that something associated my taste with them