Casually blaming netanyahu for throwing radiohead on all my spotify suggestions and then finding out they were actually pro israel is like winning the powerball for being a hater

God What have you done You're a pink pony yeen And you whoop at the club

What are we going to do when we land and find them there

I am going to moonsplain to so many bottoms at fwa

Are you really not going to let me smoke a joint and jerk me off on the couch on the day the Artemis II crew returns from cislunar space

I feel so incredibly alive 🌙 🐕 ❤️ ⭐✨

JUST GOT OFF MY 15 HOUR CONSOLE SHIFT WE WENT TO THE MOON IN THE FUCKING SKY AND NOW WE ARE SO BACK

It is a WONDERFUL day to go to the moon doggies :)

It's 11 PM on a Friday night and I'm thinking of her

Seeing a rocket launch is basically the closest thing you can do to witnessing a man-made act of god. It's so bright that you can't look at the water without going sunblind. The only thing that comes even close it watching bombs fall, except with a launch you're filled with hope instead of terror.

Guys I think we're gonna make it

Every day I come close to crying (from joy and excitement) at least three times now

NOMINAL TRANS LUNAR INJECTION. TO THE STARS.

I will be posting through it in sheer euphoria of Artemis II apologies in advance

I met the moon and she's a woman

Yeah I believe in astrology (the mere fact of humans hurtling towards the moon as we speak creating a impenetrable protective aura of good vibes around me)

my honest reaction:

GODSPEED INTEGRITY; GODSPEED ARTEMIS II

Making my overnight oats with eight minutes to spare. I guess you could say I'm just in control of my life like that.

Rolling up her plan b in a little slice of cheese

The sexual tension on the phone between me and the person at the free delivery Chinese restaurant when they know my order before I say it

Celebrating the opening of your relationship with a no loads refused party and calling it an initial public offering

Elon Musk having a cool trans daughter is the best possible evidence of America having the worst culture, and by organic reaction having the best counterculture

Never should've smoked that shit now I'm stuck in Microsoft Office 360

Queers in their late 20s love being like these are my vinegars

I've discovered that Canada has good lighting

Crawling towards the music making equipment whenever it's rainy and moody outside like a worm or perhaps a crawdad

Giant built dog men with a layer of soft and eye makeup Save me giant built dog men with a layer of soft and eye makeup

Sorry, [Party Member] has been [Lost in the Endless Vaporous Sea] and overdosed on [Venusian Hyperfent]

Reminder that I make Very Good Dog noises because I am a Very Good Dog

Do you know how badly you have to fuck up to get people in AMERICA to organize a GENERAL STRIKE

New years resolution: stop being afraid of chromaticism

The ancient top right to get a little silly with it when the bottom wants to be super mega sexy serious

The correct measure of a video game as an adult is making you want to kill yourself for the exact right amount of time before letting you win

One of the best parts about being a wife guy in a poly arrangement is getting to refer to my partners as "my better two-thirds" while slapping my knee hard enough to break the sound barrier

Dried pineapple my beloved

Programmable LEDs were invented for one reason and I am going to corrupt that reason to be bisexual Christmas porch lights

Friend: Hey man that was a lot of shrooms, you good? My brain to the aliens in the walls:

Sometimes when I'm on psychedelics and I'm having a spooky moment I think of the scene in The Hobbit where Galadriel banishes Sauron from Dol Guldur and it works 100% of the time youtu.be/KnD_NkGTEXo?...

Kinda dysphoric to have to react with a thumbs up on teams instead of sending them a sticker of a shirtless buff hyena man saluting

is your burger still worth it

humanity really loves fermenting beans man

Hey guys this is my mycosona his name is Xylus he's a spring destroying angel do NOT draw him without express permission!!

Actually kind of relieved that the price of ram and gpus is skyrocketing because it means that one day I will be forced to get off my computer

"Shooting myself in the head so I can get out of writing a paper is inevitable" I scoff, as I voluntarily stick my head into the 500 billion dollar, smog-belching, shoot-yourself-in-the-head-so-you-can-get-out-of-writing-a-paper machine

I like how work laptops get uncomfortably cold if you leave them out. It symbolizes The Evil

RED: I feel my hole on fire BLACK: My hole when he's not there

RED: The blood of angry twinks BLACK: The dark age 30 passed

Worst part of Les Mis by far is how Eponine is a multifaceted redeemed spirit of a character and chud fuckboy Marius still goes for the empty set of tits at the end fuck you rich boy you should've been gunned down at the barricade

(Performatively and covertly signaling to potential vegan suitors that I am well adjusted and sane by mentioning that I take my b12 btw)