Hello ladies

You ever wake up in the morning with enough rage to kick a baby and you get up but then you throw out your back so now you’re just in bed, still angry but now also very uncomfortable?

Should I start to post normal things here too instead of just “whatever the braincell wants?”

John Deftones is the owl’s name

My last two braincells are fighting in the other room like they’re about to get a divorce and change the course of my life forever

Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do

Man, the number of people I would kill over a little packet of those funny little crackers you get complimentary with clam chowder.

What if, in order to protest people we don’t like, we give them extremely derogatory compliments. “Oh my god, I love how that double chin looks on you, Mr. Musk! How did you get it?”

You do not beat the allegations. I know what you are :)

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I should start a business for otter armpit rocks where I give otters new armpit rocks and, in exchange, they give me deep sea trinkets. Like I just have a thousand otter familiars constantly searching for trinkets so they can buy new and improved rocks.

I post here whenever one of my three braincells has an idea. Whether they’re good ideas or not is up to the queer hivemind.

Need a special meat for a special occasion? Head to the meat counter! 🔪

Friends with benefits? You mean I can have a friend AND a 401k??? Where can I sign up?

Due to recent events, I regret to inform you that the cooking industry is now oversaturated, as everyone is now a woman and are flocking to the kitchen.

I will find your NSFW account and you can’t stop me

Sir you are a freak of zoid

Hi, losing my mind, I’m dad.