Stares at you in Ukrainian

I’m confused. I thought the only reason we were going to Bluesky is it’s not owned by narcs

An ode to fishnets 🖤 happy Valentine’s Day

Why do some Amazon drivers ignore your emergency cat food orders like total fuckbois and then other Amazon drivers send you needy texts like this

Imagine being a cute pet and these giant starry-eyed humans just lose their minds every time you stretch or snore

Me: *cough* My cat: fuck this absolute chaos I am out of here

Me: Are you a dog person or a cat person? Sid Pink: I’m a RAT MAN

It’s a really good memoir if you’re like OH GOD HOW CAN THEY SURVIVE when clearly they survived

Artists are channeling the dead artists before us. That’s why it always feels a little bit dark

Pretty much all of my faults are just the cute kinds of faults

Just love when someone’s criticizing someone for being married 3x when they’re a bro who has never held a relationship for more than six months

I want a writer’s room to base a TV show off my life, interviewing me each week, then make the episodes, then go back in time to release them just as I experience them so I have a show I can relate to VERY SPECIFICALLY

Taking my food to go so I can eat it alone in the car and feel like I’m on a stakeout

Driving while fingering your girlfriend is the new road head

The audacity of my kitty is that she refuses to care or even acknowledge that she is the cutest thing in the world when I present her to herself in the mirror

This is so many people.

This cute elderly couple walks around the park by my house every morning with their cute elderly dog in a stroller 😭❤️

In my adult life, I’ve only ever felt either: A. So burdened with responsibility that I can barely keep my head above water, take care of myself, maintain friendships, etc OR B. Lonely and on the outskirts looking in

Whenever I’m feeling sorry for myself about having to wake up early, I’ll look out the window and see a car drive by through the dark with a totally ready, totally awake person who is beating me at earliness

WOW!!!!! 😱😭🏆 Glory Guitars: Memoir of a ‘90s Teenage Punk Rock Grrrl was honored by the International Book Awards (finalist, narrative nonfiction) and the National Indie Excellence Awards (winner, music category). 🖤🤍❤️‍🔥 Eternal thanks to both these organizations for giving me a chance 🥂 📸: Glenn Ross

Butts