Me: My brother said he was gonna text us when he got home from work. That was like 14 hours ago. Did he forget? Me: ... Me: Oh. right. my brother's an ICU nurse. "home from work" means "3 months from now"

"I JUST NEED YOU TO KNOW ABOUT EARLY 90s MOTOROLA BASE STATIONS, OK?!?!" and other things I've said to my wife today that make me wonder why she's still here.

Iced tea. Blueberry mint simple syrup. Ginger juice. The third ingredient is always ginger juice.

"I leave in the morning to go to Vegas to judge battle bots, but I just wanna see this skirt first" is extremely on brand for Xyla. www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1ej...

[frustration with hard limits in brain that willpower and determination are laughably useless against]

I played power wash simulator 1 and S is playing the second one. Once again I want a mod where instead of generic grime texture on everything you can give it pictures of your ex or your journal entries about your crippling anxiety or whatever and blast that shit away for a clean, shiny surface.

They brought Beavis and Butt-head back again? People, those two are distinctly late 80s/early 90s genx constructs. I went to school with Beavis and Butt-head. They are welded to that time period. That archetype doesn't even exist anymore. Whatever I just watched was incredibly sad.

I didn't wake up today intending to say "we're going taint diving!" yet here we are.

I, someone who never says "praxis," somehow managed to use "praxis" and "vagina" in the same sentence. Also, my keyboard really wanted to interpret that second praxis as POSIX and now I'm trying to imagine a POSIX vagina.

Remembering pineapple juice exists is like cleaning the house and finding your second favorite child in a crawl space and being all "awww Billy, I totally forgot you've been in here for 6 months."

Maggie is crowdfunding a short film about a blow up sex doll that kills men so of course I've donated and you should too lmao. It's already 80% of the way there!

Business idea 2: umbrella company for a bunch of those "water FOR MEN" and "paper clips FOR MEN" products. The packaging would look all manly and shit and be called FRAG and have a bunch of FPS graphic design. But when you pull the tab to open the package, part of the top peels off revealing FRAGILE

Business idea 1: a company that sells root beer, ginger ale, cream soda, lemon lime soda, etc., but all of them are caffeinated. Very Caffeinated.

Earlier I was explaining to S that I couldn't make baked ziti tonight because I had developed this sudden, seething, violent hatred of the concept of baked ziti today. I joked that I'll make it tomorrow instead, after I work through my ziti anger with a betterhelp therapist...

Gremlin just locked himself in the bathroom with me.

True crime video: A man...missing...2002... Me: is this the land survey dude? True crime video: Chris was working for a land survey company... WHY DO I KNOW SHIT LIKE THIS BUT CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED 5 MINUTES AGO

Jesus loves me this I know For the bobble tells me so

Old timey porn: The Morse Coed

"Are you gonna go steal some candy?" "You wouldn't download a carb"

New rule: youtubers still doing the "holding a mic clearly not intended to be held makes me look more authentic" thing must use a shotgun mic for that purpose. Specifically, this one. www.audio-technica.com/en-us/bp4071

I am "I can't remember if that's the name of a band, a sex cult, or both*" years old. *I did in fact see a punk band from Florida opening for Wesley Willis that either was or seriously pretended to be a sex cult as well.

Some of you mentioned interest in getting a Bambu Lab printer. I've mostly backed that up, until now. Apparently they're now going very aggressively anti-privacy, putting single-maintainer OSS on blast, threatening to sue them, and a whole bunch of other shit. Skip them. There are other printers.

The urge to self-advocate and say "you're tacitly vilifying my disability. Please don't" combined with a disability that's making it really hard for me to communicate that in a non-confrontational way combined with a hard line that if I can't be non-confrontational I'm dropping the matter.

I didn't wake up this morning intending to do a web search for "songs about anal sex" and reading blog posts with detailed analyses of them. Butt here we are.

Being old means getting so excited by the new pain relief product your wife acquired you start calling it "Butt WD-40"

Related to the ballmaxxing article I posted earlier, one of the most important moments in my growth as a man was realizing I didn't have to perform man. I could just be me. That's so liberating and heads off soooo many problems.

This article keeps on giving. www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a7...

I've mentioned before that bipolar for me is a time domain disorder I experience roughly in terms of tempo and rhythm. Interestingly, my mood's been kinda wobbly lately. Not extremely so, but enough that every time I work on this song, the tempo feels wildly different and I have to keep checking it

Now to attempt to be potentially slightly less useless for a bit. Because I have to qualify my abilities(?) that way.

Ok this is kinda cute. www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1D9...

I was thinking about how my parents have run businesses together almost nonstop for 40+ years, so 24/7 they're in direct or other contact and can't survive apart. My mom came out to visit once and my dad was constantly calling her with questions like "Mary. Where's the kitchen."

Me: ... Me: ... Me: I just remembered some people have children, and that's like the most out-there freaky shit I've ever heard of. That's some like PT Barnum level stuff

I may be in successful recovery from alcoholism, but I have at least two other drinking problems that have nothing whatsoever to do with alcohol.

Yes. Yes. People should watch this. Very entertaining.

Ooh! Sheep Detectives is out today. I forgot all about that film.

Good thing I'm already patching/updating all my *nix boxen on a 2-week schedule, as it means it's only a minor alteration to pivot to applying these weekly critical linux kernel patches.

Great. Now there's a Copy Fail 2?

Me, 6 months ago: if nothing else, I can at least make music when my cognitive abilities are subpar Me, now: no, I fail at that too My uselessness as a human being is suffocating.

It's amazing how late I can stay up mostly just thinking about what a disaster I am.

The thing about "free shipping" is it's either going to be delivered by a familiar brown truck, or a cat with no incentive to participate in capitalism. I'm fairly certain that somewhere between North Versailles and here there's a cat sleeping on top of a package they spent the day shredding.

[feelings about not existing in any sort of meaningful way]

"I think this is the most Rasputin-looking linux user I've ever seen" sure is a sentence I just said.

Ever drink a bottle of water and go "I wonder if any atoms from [long list of human tragedies] are in this?"

Amused at all the electronics youtubers posting 5:55 videos on 5/5 about the 55th anniversary of the 555 chip.

It's 3am and I'm having an "if your work performance doesn't improve soon I'm gonna have to let you go" talk with my digestive system.

The problem with having an actual, physical pain in one's ass is, there's no way in the english language to communicate that.

I started doing this but then quickly realized it was gonna be much trickier to pull off than I thought. So pretend I took a map of the Great Lakes and filled the lakes with photos of Greg Lake and titled it The Greg Lakes.

I'm a big Star Wars fan. I love all 3 movies.

Confession: for the first I don't know how many times I heard the term used, I thought people were talking about some sort of head cannon. I didn't know if it was an actual head-mounted cannon, or some sort of "mind blown" thing or some sort of "I'm crushing you I'm crushing you" thing, or what.

We were imagining Gremlin as Matthew Lillard's character in SLC Punk, and that's one of those movies that's so fucking awesome but it rarely gets talked about. And oh my god what a shite late-90s trailer this is. www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcFm...