Those healin' butterflies of his are a real pain, Mac! But I bet if you hit one, it'd take some of your pain away! - Don't let that bucket fall on his head, Mac! When it's lights out for him, it's lights out for you!

is there any reason we've kept it papier instead of paper mache. obviously theres some language shit going on, but paper is paper.

That's the ting, Goof. Dis new show's all digital, no circus!

guy who pronounces genuine like penguin

Super Cruise of the United States

why was "the show must go on" such an important moral to teach children

why did god put the ulnar nerve right where i want to rest my elbow

any phrase more redundant than leave of absence?

its kind of a tossup whether water will be cleansing or molding in any given situation

It's pretty wild that the defacto neutral opening to a letter is "Dear [...]," Just complete parasocial capture. You are not my cherished honeybun, I am not fucking dear to you

The phrase "stop killing games" was found inscribed on the bullets

underappreciated part of what makes tw*tter so miserable is all the reposts. especially when it's a combo with a rt. this shit should not have reruns

The defense finds the defendant... not guilty.

theres a question mark but no answer mark #makesyouthink

Australio Vespucci

"strong vs smart" is just also on its face like such a bad premise for a game show. it's barely above boys vs girls.

unethical gons

10 times the devil did not tempt hard enough

Not surprised the attempted assassin believed in atomic theory of matter

NL needs to fucking learn how the punctuation works in tomodachi life

lethal company monster idea where its just a swarm of a hundred rats that run around predestined snaking paths and you just have to get out of the way

does spotify sell anything other than premium. bring back 99 cents per song that i can listen to without ads and without the PLAYLIST BEING IGNORED AND A RECOMMENDED SONG BEING PLAYED NEXT. combine ipod with like, jukebox economics.

[guy who instantly murders anyone who approaches him from the front] why does no one approach me anymore :-(

people act so surprised when people say like oh cucumbers are fruits, peppers are fruits. but everyone called beans the magical fruit. they just forgot. they deny they ever said that

as a child it was extremely jarring and upsetting whenever id encounter an old arcade or nes game and it used "GAME OVER" in a neutral fashion. as in, winning the game is also when the game is over

why is wikipedia so hesitant to show the larval forms of insects at the top of the page. the larvae can be more iconic than the imago

why is it called confirmation bias if it literally confirms you

you really do never lose the instinct in your head when you're watching a video for too long and it starts to feel like a screamer

Getting rid of IVs is like so obvious to me. I don't get it when people say it'll hurt Trick Room mons. It's not like you don't have IVs but your opponent does. Everyone's speed range is narrowed. Maybe more speed ties but whatever

never saying epoch like epic. it's like eeffoc

if i was a late night host i would have a "boo" cue light that i would have activate randomly during the celebrity interviews without their knowledge

We have determined that the optimal strategy is tit-for-26-tats.

I flubbed this one so bad it’s over

we all have that one friend who threatens to upheave the balance

honestly what's even the big deal with a nuclear iran. what, they gonna drop a nuke somewhere? thats the one thing you can do that gets yourself nuked

I heard that on his way to the burial, Chuck Norris was carried by Apple's new vehicle, the iHearse. But here's the problem folks, now this may seem absurd to you, but given the rivalry I'm sure you can understand, Apple designed this car without any Windows!

i thought "chopped" meant the opposite of what it is when I first heard it cus I didn't think Chopped Chin was ugly or anything. I thought it meant like "chiseled" lol

obviously oracles can be tricky in their prophecies, but some of them are just "heads I win tails you lose" like you provided no new information here

Strait of Hormuz has been "filled completely with Orbeez"

few better feelings than seeing something you own that you forgot you had, before you would have needed and forgotten about it

Shall I play for you, tung tung tung tung tung On my drum?

The furtive media, so easily lost

does the super battle golf game not have like, an actual victory screen?

do you think the marketing person who first used "happy dance" feels like oppenheimer. and do you think their remorse should factor into their sentencing?

"licking your lips dries them out more, use balm" has to be wrong right. it's not like toothpaste where our diets are way different now.

all things considered it's still pretty wild that PVZ2 basically didnt have a final boss

has anyone killed everyone on earth yet?

Villagers should only trade enchanted books if that enchanted book is currently placed in their lectern

They should invent an airborne infectious disease that damages the respiratory system and is highly contagious

[trying to come up with secular homophobia] It's Jack and Jill, not Jack and Bill.