Chamomile Strudelfocus is here, Effendi. Cloak of invisibility?

"I'm afraid he's gone the way of the aphid worshippers," responded Wholegourd irridescently.

Breaking - In nod to Carl Sagan, Karoline Leavitt announces there are "billions and billions of documents" in Epstein files.

Ten Years Ago Today: Believe in yourself. God didn't, and look where it got Him.

NowWatching - Beulah Goon, the story of an awkward teenage boy stranded on a tropical island with an ugly, obese girl he calls Beulah Goon. When he falls for Beulah anyway, she escapes "Todd the Odd" on a tiny raft and sails to Los Angeles, where she becomes a wealthy movie star.

It was a moment, not exactly frozen in time, but more sort of crouching beneath the staircase in its pyjamas trying to be inconspicuous.

"Those are cheery tomatoes, aren't they?!" beamed Marjorie.

Gonna walk An antipodal poodle Gonna set my mind at ease Gonna walk An antipodal poodle To renew old memories!!!

Well Kerglip tipping your waiters over 20 percent isn't the same thing as tipping over 20 percent of your waiters! Get a grip!

I told myself I'd enjoyed the time we spent together and I hoped I'd see myself again soon.

Have survived the Christmas Bunny. Wait what?

Excellent choice, Sir. Would you like to ad hominem for $4?

Just which witch which a witch hunt hunts is a witch which witch hunts hunt?

Gene Cloud dam Van.

Not to be outdone, Russia is going to build a nuclear reactor on the Moon! (There already is one on the Sun, apparently!)

Merry Christmas to all. We celebrate it this evening.

NowReading - From Jai-Alai Cheers to Twilight Years, by Riboflavin Bookmark!!

The Bailey Deggars are at the door, Effendi. Something about Vaseline?

Halitosis Trottinoffskaya is here, Effendi. Ready to go?

Don't you just love social networks? How would we live without them?

Friaza Byrd is here, Effendi. Oops, she's just popped off again!

Wonderfullia Van Näsalfräcken is here to see you, Effendi. Fast forward?

NowReading - To Appease an iPad, by Wanderlust Clamsurgeon!!

ListeningTo - Oyster Fork Lullaby, by Ribosome Nitwit!!

When you're trying to pour the last of the pot into your cup and there's just a little too much and it overflows and by the time you've mopped it up your tea's gone cold.

And on another note altogether, yet nonetheless still relevant - Ten years ago today: DidYouKnow - If you hold a shotgun shell to your ear, you can hear the dead screaming?

Breaking - US military blows up unidentified flying object in skies over North Pole. Surviving terrorist combatants eliminated in follow-up strikes. Cargo of small packages confiscated and flown to White House where Trump will "keep" it.

NowReading - The Fourteenth Nom de Plume, by Echevarria Canteloupe Minnesota!!

Yabbut I am so much older now I was younger than that then. - Bill Dobbyn

Glanzward explained to the officer that his inconsistent speed was simply a result of his regular fasting schedule.

Duncan explained that the recurrent sausage dream was his own wurst nightmare.

GhostPostingFrom - Sassant-le-Moisie, dans la Creuse!

Initial feeding terminated. Donning day garb.

The proboscis monkey was outraged that people thought his appearance, which his species had spent millennia perfecting, in fact looked ridiculous. Like buffoons, they claimed!

"So," said Witkoff, "you'd be giving up 30% of your territory with an open option for forfeiting much more, giving up NATO membership, eliminating your armed forces and refusing all European intervention. Oh, and you yourself would be deposed. Any deal breakers for you in there?"

Police determined Herbstford had crafted a colon stopper from stolen copper!

I think one could legitimately say who cares?

For remembrance, it's a minute of silence. When you're trying to forget, though, we recommend several hours of very loud noise.

There was a time back in the sixties when Mountain Dew tried to market its product at bring-your-own-container taps at service stations and convenience stores. They called it "No-Can-Dew!". Despite the ecological angle, it never caught on.

They called him Rucksack Charlie because he always wore shoes.

Japanese Broccoli Ocarina, Merry Christmas! youtube.com/watch?v=_Gab...

Blue potato boogie.

Greg's mind was playing tricks on him again, but he would see that it got its comeuppance!

Wasabi and bananas possess words.

Thirteen years ago today: When I got home, Sean Penn was at my dining room table with a straight bourbon and a Glock 9 mm. He said he needed to have a word with me, and he didn't look happy.

This content has been redacted in compliance with the Epstein Transparency Act! Turns out there was a - oops! Never mind!!!!

The president reckons his speech will become historic. At the moment it is pre-historic.

All fall down! Oh, sorry, some people weren't ready. We'll try again.

Duncan's inner marmoset informed him it was time to move on.

Tradition had it that the bicarbonate ritual dated back more than 10,000 years. No one knew the brown glass vials decorating the holy uruthiria derived from the earliest cardboard packaging of the Saint-Elixir, at its origin a vulgar heartburn relief powder derived from sediment.