If they could just make a Paper Mario game with the combat of 64, the character designs of TTYD, and the writing of Color Splash (maybe SPM but I'm convinced that shit did not want to be a Paper Mario game), you're telling me that would be the perfect Paper Mario game?

I figured it out. The reason the AI summaries on YouTube make me so uncomfortable is because they're not summaries, they're sales pitches. It phrases everything like it's trying to sell the video to you. Literally no one ever is constantly glazing and trying to sell you every single thing though.

It only took me more than half a decade but I'm feeling really good about my name being Jasper. Seeing it in the most random places like on my food orders or my dad's friend mentioning it manages to make me feel really good and I've never had that happen with a name before.

Complaining about Plant isn't even cathartic anymore, it's just draining. Especially knowing that he's basically just my mom minus the transphobia. I made basically a lateral move and still haven't found a living situation I can be happy with.

I think I need to go shopping for Mario stickers to put on the Grampy so it's less boring.

My Spotify playlist has crossed the big 900.

Mariah Carey GD reference???

Kamek's robe, hat, and boots would go so hard if I had them as real life pajamas.

What a banger story told in one screenshot.

The refund I got from DoorDash because Wendy's didn't give me my burger: $12.48 The euphoria I got from the automatically generated email from DoorDash support that started "Hi Jasper,": priceless

My thoughts haven't been nearly as unhinged lately as they usually are, how disappointing.

I've spent the last several years hoping I would find where I can buy a pair of real life Shy Guy or Koopa or Dry Bones boots but it's just never happened.

I love waking up from a nap and feeling like I weigh 15 million pounds.

This random cube's last frame before death:

I would say it's a sign that a minigame isn't very good when my record in it is 4.58 seconds.

When you're out of breath from laughing at how sad Billiards 2008 is.

There are so many stupid songs I want to make GD levels to but I don't have the patience to make long layouts anymore.

I know it's totally not the case at all because their voices are very different but how insane would it be if KrazyBones and Krazyman50 (better known as KrmaL) were the same person just because they both have "Krazy" in their names?

There is one, kind of. The word "polynymous" means "having multiple names" and that very much applies to me.

Music peaked in 2004 with the Crazy Bus title screen.

Ranking ever RobTop level by how much I like the name:

If we bullied Sony into making Sonic look less terrible, surely we can bully Illumination into making Bowser Jr.'s eyes not look like that.

Who needs one of those doctor's office reflex hammers when you can just hit your own knee with the grip of a Pro Controller?

I refuse to let Broken Videocard get the best of me. That level is a little painful but I will beat it.

I was right now years old when I figured out why news anchors are called "anchors."

Public transit continues to be the best thing ever made 👏👏👏

Hot take: Peachette was the worst thing to ever happen to the Mario series because Bowsette was one of the worst things to ever happen to the internet.

I think I figured out why the AI summaries in general just give me a huge ick. AI loves using adverbs and adjectives and fancy verbs in places that no real person ever would in day to day life. "This video is about" doesn't fly. We have to explore. We have to dive in. We have to witness.

Theory: non-cis people are the most interesting and funniest people because society hates them so much that we have to rely on our personalities to be liked.

Is there a word for having multiple identities but not multiple personalities? I'm never not me, I just like having different names (and occasionally genders) to go with all my kin types.

Iggy stop confusing Pick Up the Pieces and Love Rollercoaster challenge (impossible)

I want to change my legal name again once I finally determine what I'd be happy with but then I'd have to deal with the rigamarole of the probate and family court and the probate and family court and the probate and family court and the probate and family court and the probate and family court and t

Today I learned that Plant couldn't remember the word "thought" and came up with "thinked," then when I asked him if he said "thinked," he just said "...thunk?"

I'm going to have a conniption next time I hear an English speaker pronounce ẞ as a B.

It's always up to you to figure out what the hell my display names are supposed to be.

My bad knee: *hurts* Me, in a posh British accent: "Oh, my knee."

The YouTube AI video summary is literally the single most pointless thing I've ever seen in my life because if I want a summary of the video, I'll just read the title. Have we really become so stupid that we need an AI to puke out its repetitive garbage just to understand what a video is about?

Today I wrote a paper that cites Walt Whitman, Johan Huizinga, Elvis Costello, Paper Mario TTYD, and Jenny Nicholson. All those, and I still think it's a pretty damn good paper.

I don't want to upgrade my phone since it still runs fine but it does feel like I need to get a new charging plug or something because the one I currently have just immediately spits out 99% of the chargers I plug into it.

Plant stop making my life worse challenge (level: embarrassing)

Would it be awkward if I changed my name again so I can actually go by Iggy and/or Lemmy?

So Jimmy Dean called me on a Sunday but then said to follow up during business hours on Monday-Friday? What do you want from me, Jimmy?

I knew I wasn't crazy for thinking 1:00 AM had already happened.

The goal: don't have an upstairs neighbor-induced crashout during the upcoming game night.

Somehow, palpitations returned.

Every time Gino Vannelli comes up on my playlist, it makes me wish I could go home and get a pizza from Papa Gino's.

I've started to care a lot less if people can see me lip syncing while I'm walking or on the bus or whatever.

Today I learned that the auto thumbnail generation on YouTube is in love with Alice from Wii Sports Club.

So no one told you life was gonna be this way 👏👏👏👏

Maybe I should start a phone company where you buy a phone from me, tell me what apps you want, and then your phone comes with them preinstalled but you have no way to download anything else.