I fear that asking my 6 year old what he wants to be when he grows up is a pointless question.

I’m in the awkward phase of growing my hair out and it’s a hot mess.. but this process shows who my true friends are. That.. and whether or not they voted against my rights. Whatev.

The forest kept shrinking, and the trees kept voting for the axe. It was made of wood, so they thought it was one of them.

They banned TikTok and now my wife wants to hang out. What should I do? Kidding.

All I really want is for someone to notice my Picardy thirds.

Last year for my birthday I bought myself some nice silverware. Every time I eat I feel so established. 10/10. Highly recommend.

911 - My wife started her period today and I’m out of chocolate. Please send help.

On the outside I look fine but on the inside I’m desperately struggling to figure out the photos app after the new IOS update. Why.

Having just one supportive family member can make up for all the rest. I have a good Dad. I hope to be that one person for someone who needs it some day.

My 2024 Spotify Wrapped will be my little secret. I don’t know what’s going on with me but I like it.

I like my foods to touch. Sometimes I do it intentionally and I’ll plan what foods sit next to each other. Y’all are missing out. Mouth party surprise. If I ever play music again I’m using that as a band name. #mouthpartysurprise

I’m spending Thanksgiving alone with my gay wife. We may not even put pants on. Cheers.

Anyone else on Wellbutrin suddenly have bad taste in music? Like really bad, out of character stuff? It’s not a listed side effect. Am I even going to be okay? Back to politics and cats.