Ah the gift of cat puke under the tree! Just what I wanted! Merry Christmas!

Paradise Killer is free on Epic Games Store today. A stylishly written open-world murder mystery detective game set on an island occupied by gods. I used multiple songs from its soundtrack in my recent video essay. Recommend! www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdAi... store.epicgames.com/en-US/p/para...

I'm drinking alone at the Taco Bell Cantina I promise it's not a cry for help.

I'm a man. A real man. A man's man. That's why I need the biggest, baddest, meanest everyday carry knife I can find so I can cut open the tape on the little packages I get in the mail and for nothing else.

I like when a piano falls on a guy and his teeth are replaced by the keys.

typing a love letter in the pizza hut font

Maybe I'm drunk idk but Rosalia's new album is the greatest album of all time. Discuss.

Uh oh. I'm too drunk for how much cooking I have left to do.

Talking to my wife but as an SEO headline: I Pumped Air In Your Bike Tires (The Back One Was Real Low)

Today is the day we remind turkeys who's boss.

My wife reading me the email she wrote telling some coworkers that she's quitting for a better job is a good reminder that there are some long winded ways of saying fuck you.

Finally ate one of the hot peppers I started growing 5 months ago. I then rubbed my eye with the hand I used to handle the pepper that I grew.

Another season in the books. Thank you for listening.

Penultimate episode of season three! My long journey in getting this season made and out finally comes to an end next Tuesday. I will probably start writing season four that same day.

I like to think of myself as a good person but the way I treat my robot vacuum raises some questions that I'm afraid to answer.

My brain automatically goes into vacation mode between November 1 and the second week of January.

This weekend, celebrate that which is most important in life — me.

I published an essay on YouTube wherein I explore the ways game developers across gaming history have depicted my hometown of Miami. I had a blast making it. If you like it, give it a thumbs up and subscribe because I will probably make more. www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdAi...

Some are saying this is the best episode of Three Indistinguishable Guys Talking About Movies I've ever done. I’m the only one saying that, but I’m the creator of it, so my opinion is weighted differently.

Hi! I made a video about how different video games have interpreted my hometown. Watch it! Give it a like! Share it! www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdAi...

Let's all take a second to appreciate the beauty of my shiny purple Zippo lighter that I bought at around the time that I quit smoking so I never really got to use it.

New episode! Get it while it's fresh and hot out of the oven.

I'm probably not qualified to make such declarations, but this might be the best year in Indie gaming ever.

This little one started showing up in my backyard recently. Posted up back there for a bit till I got this...

My back hurts! 1 like = 1 virtual back rub rt = a sweet kiss to make it better

Kash, buddy, you won't find a single Miami Heat fan mad that you might toss Terry Rozier in federal prison. A lot of Heat fans have been wishing for that since we traded for him.

Penultimate episode of The Feed for season three! Starting next week, every new episode of the pod will be that show's season finale. I love this season, and a lot of you seem to be happy with it, too, since the number of plays has taken a big jump over the first two seasons.

The outage has only affected my mouse. Apparently, without AWS, my customized mouse features don't work. What a stupid fucking world.

You've got around 4 1/2 minutes of solid comedic entertainment waiting for you in the video below.

Bought a flashlight so bright that turning it on immediately disorients me and gives me a headache. I can change its brightness level, and at the highest setting I'm pretty sure it can cut through steel and retinas with ease.

New episode. Listen to it, or I swear I will continue living my life as usual, and I will continue to respect you, but I will continue to urge you to listen to my dumb comedy.

Just in case you were wondering, Top Secret! Is still brilliantly funny.

Listen to this week's episode of the podcast with your ears. Feel it with your heart. Laugh with your soul. Then run from it with your feet, and attack it with your hands when it comes near.

Look upon my creation and weep

I will continue to release episodes of my scripted short-form comedy podcast until my demands are met... Or until the season ends, which will happen in about five weeks. Listen to this new one, and then all previous episodes as we barrel toward the final episodes of season three.

Not tall enough to feel like an adult while pushing a Costco shopping cart :-(

In defiance of God's will, I released another episode of my comedy podcast that's made up of small, bite-sized episodes. FYI: You can breeze through the entire back catalog in only a few hours. Get to listening!

The Sopranos has skewed my idea of what topics I should be discussing with my therapist. If it's not about having to kill a close friend or relative because they're an FBI informant, it just doesn't seem worth bringing up ya'know?

Come listen to the new episode! Bring your ears!

Listen to this week's episode and then subscribe to the Patreon to read this week's behind-the-scenes essay wherein I describe how I accidentally manifested the premise for this episode in real life. www.patreon.com/posts/new-ep...

Alien: Earth was excellent. First episode of The Lowdown was a lot of fun. The Paper was surprisingly great considering my low expectations going into it.

New episode that will fill you with mirth. You'll be mirth'd six ways to Sunday.

I have amassed the world's finest collection of minor social embarrassments that will haunt me until the day I die.

Got'em. Oreo Reese's are the better of the two combos. The white is supposed to simulate the Oreo cream but it tastes a little bit like white chocolate. Not bad, just underwhelming. The element that really shines are the crunchy bits of Oreo cookie beneath the peanut butter. An excellent addition.

This week's new episode and a free peek at my Patreon essays! Come on in and explore.

The Dolphins have crushed my desire to watch them. Let them get lost at sea for all I care.

I'm out of the loop when it comes to blogging platforms and whatnot. What's a good place to publish essays that's like Substack but isn't pro-nazi? I've got some silly, deeply inconsequential essays I want to post somewhere.

Definitely afraid of losing my freedom of speech-based job at the hands of the freedom of speech party.

I keep my phone to my left on my desk as I work throughout the day. I'll double tap it to wake it up to check the time or for notifications. Sometimes I put it somewhere else but I'll still tap the desktop to my left thinking it's there. The hollow woody echo is the sound of my phone addiction.

Podcasts used to be an escape from commercials about red tag sales at mattress stores, but alas it seems I will never outrun them.