Im an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

Miss when being a millennial meant you were young.

In a moment of pure frustration, I came to the conclusion that there is no angry way to say 'bubbles'.

I’m not sure how many cookies it takes to be happy, but so far, it's not twenty seven.

Fired as a stripper for grunting every time I bent down to pick up money.

I am capable of making good decisions. But I'm fucking amazing at bad ones.

😬

Today is "send ARt. new thongs Day"!

I accept myself exactly as I am right now: A fucking mess.

Unlike Santa, I don't mind a little naughty. 😈

Back from the beach. 🏖️