looking for investors for my new project TwatGPT, dunno what it is yet but i've heard investors are very stupid so hit me up

STOP GROWING YOU IDIOT

Two 5.6 earthquakes here in a day after not a single one over 4 for a year. Sleeping with my shoes on tonight :)

sorry i yelled HODOR when i cam but in fairness you've been trying to get me to watch game of thrones since forever

sorry i said like and subscribe while we were having sex

@hleehurley.com Thanks for the boost Lee!

I'm looking for a 3D artist with graphic design ability too. The work is SFW, but it's a for a new masturbator brand I've been working on for the last year. You need to be ok with that, everything else is up for discussion. My ad from Linkedin below. Hit me up!

*naming of 'philanthropy'* steve: how about steveanthropy phil: ok nice but hear me out

opening a bar called Horn Pub

pretty excited for one-take shows and movies to stop being fashionable so i can watch a thing without obsessively looking for the sneaky cuts

Happy Halloween from me and Chompsky

pretty cool to see the royal family take decisive action on prince andrew only 19 years after the scandal broke

all im sayin is that if milk had never been invented and you discovered it today you might have to answer some questions about what you were doing when you found out cows could do that

everyone always ragging on cops for eating donuts but like have you tried a donut, shits good

*Nietzsche voice* you have seen ze elf auf dem shelf, but have you seen ze elf on ze dynamic dividuum of ze self

gettin pretty tired of robots telling me to prove im not a robot tbh

this thing doesn't even need a pilot's license. (i feel like maybe it should) youtube.com/shorts/oaF9p...

my favourite fact is that medieval artists had often never seen a pet dog in person and had to draw them based on verbal descriptions

"i tried to walk into Target but I missed" Mitch Hedberg invented shitposting

steve jobs' middle name was blow

a block button but for america

either the plural of goose should be goose, or the plural of moose should be meese, i am going to bed

im so old, when i was young pornstars were called like Misty Mclust and Cherry Rush but now they're all called like Anal Kxtten and Fae Fuckhole, not sayin its worse but what happened

I heard they wanted to call it the jizz whale but the regulators said no

This is my dog, Chomsky Disgustatron

bro

hey guys gather round, grab a mountain dew, listen up guys let's rap, i wanna talk to you about someone that a lot of people thought was pretty skibidi, our lord and saviour jesus christ

time for BDSM! (boredom, depression, serotonin medication)

wait do you remember that like three years ago we all got super into sea shanties for a while, was that a fever dream or did that happen. And if it did happen, why the fuck

how is 2020 five years ago, it still sounds like the future to me

CHRIST I'm dumb. So I'm watching The King. It's great, I'm doing a big enjoy of it. Halfway through I paused it to look up Henry V on wikipedia, and I had to stop myself reading about the Hundred Years' War because I didn't want any spoilers. we're all so fucking dumb now aren't we

father I do not understand the device

this is the funniest thing the internet has produced in a long time, but only for the small group of us millennials who came of age around south london. amazing that an american has nailed this so perfectly youtube.com/shorts/NZtfn...

Sorry I said "welcome to my soft launch" while we're having sex

EXTREMELY funny that Satisfyer sued LELO for patent infringement only to get their own patents thrown out because they stole them from Womanizer. The sex toy industry is a fuckin clown show sometimes

was watching a documentary about the titanic last night but fell asleep before the end, sure do hope they enjoyed new york

god that EA deal just feels like a portend doesn't it

i have never seen an episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia but i have seen every blooper

super perfundo on the early eve of your day

someone just said 'without further adieu' to me and then they mysteriously drowned with no witnesses

someone said 'for all intensive purposes' to me today and now i am wanted for murder

I try not to be dogmatic about language but the way americans say coupe is just straight up incorrect

Are there any sober artists here, who put their recovery into their work?

sorry i said i was "gonna put a drone in your airspace" i'm not very good at dirty talk

Went over to Ayia Napa yesterday, every British guy looks like Tommy Robinson

salami lick'em

the past tense of glide should be glid but it isn't and it annoys me more than is reasonable

my dog has just started her first heat cycle, she is a big girl now and i am very proud

they pull off the sniper's mask and it's ben shapiro. then they pull off ben shapiro's face and it's luigi mangione

Gav out here like