The Feministani feministani.substack.com?r=521dpr&utm... My new venture, a Substack, to take up where my blog left off. Subscribe, share, show your support! Everything is free... for now.

I finished Howard Jacobson's What Will Survive of Us and I cannot believe that he made Lily stop having sex with Sam because of VAGINAL ATROPHY. Dude, estrogen cream, laser therapy, and FREQUENT SEX helps the condition. Did you even consult a gynecologist when you wrote that?!?!?!

I'm reading What Will Survive of Us by Howard Jacobson. What an odd novel. Yet it's made me laugh out loud in places. #HowardJacobson #WhatWillSurviveOfUs #reading #contemporarylit #novel

Why is it that the only way to show someone how cool you are is by ignoring them?

I still don't know how to use this site. But Twitter has become a cesspool of racism, misogyny, and overall stupidity. I'm not sure how to access the zeitgeisty convos here though.

I'm three episodes in to Anatomy of a Cancellation. Kate Clanchy's intentions are so good but she does come across as unaware of how her words might affect non-white people, immigrants, etc. She did not deserve to be bullied for that, just educated. #anatomyofacancellation #podcast #kateclanchy

Beautiful Kaak Asawer (Palestinian date ring cookies)

I think I better start getting active here again. Anyone been listening to Anatomy of a Cancellation?

Meta stole my novel to train its AI.

@johncusack.bsky.social do you still have hope? Asking for a friend...

Unpopular opinion: no, I don't think your writing is any good.

Move over, Meghan www.instagram.com/reel/DHLAp_2...

I want to open a coffee shop for older women called "It's Not Too Latte"

There's a piece of AI "creative" metafiction floating around on social media. Let me tell you that piece of writing is not good writing. There is not one ounce of human emotion in it -- it's like writing behind a glass wall, in a museum of the future, where aliens are laughing at us.

Happy to tell you that The Monsoon War, my novel about militant feminist resistance and sequel to Before She Sleeps, won the Getz Pharma English Fiction prize at the Karachi Literature Festival this past weekend. Looking forward to hearing what you think of it!

I bragged about not being married in the national newspaper. I really hope my mom doesn't read my essay.

My Diane Keaton era is starting in 2025, I feel.

At the bookstore. Sales person sees me come in, hastily brings a few of my books down from a dusty top shelf and puts one half-heartedly on a display. The glamor of being a successful novelist.

Tired of 2024.

Need to get this guy a license plate that says A55H0L3

Wrote what I think is the first page of a new novel on Sunday. I'm too scared to look at it now, it's the point of no return. Anyone else know how that feels? #writing #novel #firstpage

Showed my students a music video and asked them to explain the story to me (we are studying narrative writing). "Can I do it in Gen Z?" asks one of my students, then proceeds to talk about Twitch Streamers, Baby Grok, and god knows what else.

Papa, if only you knew that teaching one of your stories to a bunch of 10th graders at 8 am is as hard if not harder than reeling in a 400 pound marlin, driving an ambulance in a battlefield, and running with the bulls all at the same time... #hemingway #teaching #English #highschool

The hardest part about teaching English at my old school is the three flights of stairs I have to climb to reach my classroom #yesimold

Teaching Hemingway to a class of 10th grade boys who think only Andrew Tate and Jordan Peterson know how to be a man. And yet they spoke of admiration for their fathers and an absolute ignorance of how to go from being boys to men like their dads, who they respect and love.

A book that influenced me greatly in my teens was Of Human Bondage by W. Somerset Maugham. I'd like to re-read it to see, thirty years later, whether it moves me the same way. #writing #novels #comingofage #somersetmaugham

Womp womp.

Museum of the Future, Dubai. This city was the inspiration for Green City in my novel Before She Sleeps. It looks like 2070 here.

My review of Gladiator 2: good entertainment, excellent fight scenes. Paul Mescal convincing as sensitively raging hunk with sad eyes and bulging thighs. Denzel Washington supremely crafty, twin Roman emperors both looked like Ed Sheeran. Not a perfect movie, not a waste of time either. 7 out of 10.

Also writers.

So according to the Internet (and ChatGPT) here are some books I have supposedly written, including one which has won me the International Booker Prize. No points for guessing where you go if you click on the links. #chatGPTsucks #AIsucks #craftsmannotartist

I have caught a cold. I am going to die so there will be no writing advice for the next three months #writers #creativelicense #melodramatic

A poem for my last day working at the writing center for the semester (by Joseph Fasano)

My niece Pireh is a singer-songwriter in Karachi, Pakistan, and this is her latest single. Give it a listen and give her some love! open.spotify.com/track/6ypz9l...

Yesterday someone asked my advice about their novel, written from a woman's POV. "How do you know you've been able to do it well?" I asked him. "My female students read it and said it was good," he replied. Being a writer requires a certain amount of arrogance, but this ain't it. #writing

A poem I like, and this isn't sarcasm. "On Living" by Nazim Hikmet #poetry #poets #NazimHikmet #OnLiving poets.org/poem/living

Being a writer is one of the few jobs where you get paid to feel emotions. Perhaps the other one is psychic or tarot card reader.

Last night I attended a piano concert given by a famous French pianist and afterwards a dinner hosted by the French consul general. The charming pianist was on my right and the hot French head of security on my left. My life is mostly a Mr. Bean movie, but sometimes it turns into Casablanca.

Real writers only share their failures in the moment they growl "Congratulations" between clenched teeth to their friend who won the award they submitted their work for.

Have you ever noticed how people who want to be writers write long, cringing essays about "what it's like to be a writer" and put something like "wordsmith" or "sentence whisperer" in their bios? Meanwhile real writers will have one-word social media bios: "Writer". Or "Drunk".

All right... For those of you who don't know me, I'm a Pakistani writer living in Karachi. I've been on Twitter since 2008 so I've seen the best and worst of it all. I'm giving this place a try and focusing exclusively on sarcastic writing advice.

A lot of people ask me how to write a book. I always tell them to start with small pieces, send them to a local newspaper or online magazine, and build a following/confidence from there. Don't start your writing career by trying to "write a novel." #writingadvice #Forwhatitsworth #babysteps

Ben Affleck said something very profound about AI and whether it can take over Hollywood: "A craftsman knows how to work. Art is knowing when to stop." I love this and it's true for writing as well. It will never produce Shakespeare (said Ben, and since he was in Shakespeare in Love I believe him)

Today, i'm remembering the guy who told me I'd never write a novel because I hadn't read enough.

I'm here to tell you never to call it "a fic".

I can assure most people that they haven't read enough to even attempt being a writer, let alone a good writer. The only way to learn is to read, read, read. And then imitate, and then create. There is no other way (Sorry, Charles, I'm still borrowing your words).

In fact, like Charles Bukowski, my advice to most people who ask me how to start writing is: "Don't do it."

Well, here goes. The first thing I have to say is that a lot of people think they can write a book. Not many can, and even fewer should.

Maybe I should use this space to air my very unpopular opinions about writing and the people who attempt to do it. Like the guy on X who comments about menswear.

I'm here.