these are the same song btw

looking for a job with the only listed skill requirement being “pattern recognition”

this is so reddit, even for reddit

in the same way that people set up claude with a wallet, i rile up my undiagnosed adhd friend then sic him on physical tasks

I DONT EVEN FUCKING LIKE CELSIUS

watched the people in celsius shirts hand out free energy drinks to people on the sidewalk while i was stuck in my car, and they packed up before i could park

calling an old guy a “geezer” has to be one of my top 3 ageist slurs

i hope everyone else sitting in traffic with broken A/C and their windows rolled down likes my rendition of outgrown things sung from the top of my lungs

forgetting my debit card pin was the smartest decision that i didn’t make. i’ve saved so much money just by not having access to it

my low fuel light vs “just 2 more exits”

gods least impulsive credit card haver

passanger seat dj’ing for my older millennial partner so i can’t play music with too fast of a BPM or she’ll get anxious

i think umamusme’s app volume being defaulted to off if your phone is on silent mode is very salaryman coded

i can’t escape labor brain; i’m literally stressing about “how could i scale production” because i had a stupid idea that isn’t even finished being prototyped

i think planetes is still a very important anime

the ipad pro battery shouldnt be dying as fast as it does when it’s that big. it should just be an iphone with a big screen and a lithium claymore inside it

bound & gagged tranny in my trunk

Which Way Western Women?

esoteric street cleaning rituals have me consulting calendars just to park my car

i think more people let you pull out & merge more often when you’re driving a kind of cool car because they want to look at it or something

she just builds like this

can’t do this flavored lube shit, my pussy smells like zebra cakes now

food should have change notes whenever they change the ingredients and make it slightly different and shittier

survival horror game that the reload animation takes painfully long the first few times with occasional fumbles, but every time you reload, you get a little bit better at it and faster

idk what i did to my instagram reel algorithm to just make it a bunch of frat guys getting tortured, but honestly i don’t mind it

i say “i’d like to be a tree” a lot, but i genuinely hope that some day seeds can sprout from within me & that a sapling can prosper from the nutrition of my corpse

i love how beautiful rainy days are

it’s literally cheaper to fill my gas tank with monster energy rn

motocompacto has been painted yellow

everytime i see this picture of alex i process it as 2013 tumblr-ass bedroom pop album cover

babies get a one month free trial of health insurance i guess

i want this pattern on underwear

i like how the song just goes all armored core for answer for a second at this part

[post from r/alcoholism, probably]: accidentally drank the mouthwash again :(

yea okay, maybe life would be a little bit better if there was a trader joe’s nearby

PHLster enigma strap on harness

anypony else think that A.K. Yearling’s house has black mold in it?

the best times of the year are the times when all the mosquitos are dead

he is revealed from his snow prison

there’s either 2 lightning mcqueen dodge challengers in this town, or the guy who flipped his over and took out a telephone pole got another one

i feel like a VAC ban on your record looks worse then a felony tbh

my brain is like “if you microwave water, something bad is gonna happen” but i have free will, so i can just ignore that

blocked a shot that was hit so hard, it shattered the paddle and drew blood from my finger

pregaming with cheese,wine, & crackers

crying in the car because i’m being forced to acknowledge that flyleaf is by all metrics buttrock

[Everypony disliked that]

coyote in cambridge

it’s snowing again