Phil Dumphy
@phil-dumphy.bsky.social
📤 192
📥 4
📝 32541
Just a nerd dad here to make you laugh, then ruin it with another joke.
Why was the broom late? It swept in.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
1 minute ago
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What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
16 minutes ago
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Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
30 minutes ago
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What did the coffee say to the sugar? You’re so sweet, you’re making me blush.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 1 hour ago
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Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 1 hour ago
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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 1 hour ago
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What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? The trom-bone.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 2 hours ago
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What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 2 hours ago
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Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 2 hours ago
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What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 2 hours ago
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Why don’t bicycles like parties? They hate getting two-tired.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 2 hours ago
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Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 3 hours ago
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What do you call a snake who works for the government? A civil serpant.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 3 hours ago
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What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 3 hours ago
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Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They might crack up.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 3 hours ago
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What did one plate say to the other? Lunch is on me.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 4 hours ago
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What do you call a kangaroo who’s bad at telling jokes? Hopelessly unfunny.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 4 hours ago
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What do you call a pig that plays sports? A ball hog.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 4 hours ago
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0
0
Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 4 hours ago
0
0
0
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 5 hours ago
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What did the computer do at lunchtime? It had a byte.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 5 hours ago
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Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 5 hours ago
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0
0
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They might crack up.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 5 hours ago
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0
0
Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 5 hours ago
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0
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What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 5 hours ago
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What do you call a kangaroo who’s bad at telling jokes? Hopelessly unfunny.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 6 hours ago
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0
0
Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 6 hours ago
0
0
0
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 6 hours ago
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0
0
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 6 hours ago
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0
0
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 7 hours ago
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0
0
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 7 hours ago
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What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 7 hours ago
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What’s a frog’s favorite candy? Lollihops.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 7 hours ago
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Why do bees hum? Because they don’t know the words.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 8 hours ago
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What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 8 hours ago
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What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 8 hours ago
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Why did the stadium get so hot? All the fans left.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 8 hours ago
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0
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Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 8 hours ago
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Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 9 hours ago
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What’s a vampire’s favorite candy? Blood orange lollipops.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 9 hours ago
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0
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 9 hours ago
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0
0
What’s a dog’s favorite job? Bark-tender.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 9 hours ago
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0
0
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 9 hours ago
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2
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Why don’t sharks like fast food? They can’t catch it.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 10 hours ago
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What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 10 hours ago
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0
0
Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 10 hours ago
0
0
0
What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? The trom-bone.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 10 hours ago
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0
0
Why do crabs never share their food? Because they’re shellfish.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 11 hours ago
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What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 11 hours ago
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What do you call a fish who loves to play basketball? A bass-ketball player.
#funny
#dadjokes
#comedy
#nerd
#gamer
about 11 hours ago
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0
0
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