Sometimes I’ll feel a sense of vertigo trying to speak reason to people who still believe in Trump. How do you even know where to begin dismantling such absurd fantasies?

One of the biggest challenges in arguing with people who still believe Trump has good to offer is knowing where to even begin. Just this past week he’s added another mile to his rap sheet.

Can’t believe we had the audacity to believe George Bush was as bad as it gets 🥲

Trump toilet paper is good to have around so that friends and family know, in theory, you’re not above wiping your ass with the president’s face… even if deep down you know your rectum deserves much better than to be defiled in this way.

When I was a kid, I used to think the lyrics to I’m Looking Through you were, “I’m looking through you, DEMOCRACY!!! *Electric guitar riffs*” Sadly, it is just a love song with no political undertones. Sigh

Trump toilet paper is good to have around so that friends and family know, in theory, you’re not above wiping your ass with the president’s face… even if deep down you know your rectum deserves much better than to be defiled in this way.

2 days down, 1,459 to go.

There’s nothing scarier than to give up the fight against climate change at this time when it so dearly threatens all of us.

The worst thing Biden did in office was willingly hand over rule to Trump.

What a fucking shameful time to be an American.

Self-Admitted Mac & Cheese Addict and Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg Caught Stealing Mannequin Legs From Department Store

Alleged Kidnapper, Amphibian Defiler, and Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg Was Caught Shoplifting Hamsters From a Local Pet Store

More than Christianity, or this Fascist breed of it, the danger to our nation is faith based thinking. The belief that Trump will save the nation is comparable to the belief that Adam and Eve were real people who walked the earth. It’s a worldview that’s indifferent to facts.

Not gonna bother fact-checking this one. Sounds legit

“The Vice President offered no acknowledgement of exactly who her administration was handing over power to. She didn’t speak to the dark proposition the American people had made with their vote, nor the very real possibility that we may well have democratically voted away our own democracy.”

Personally, I kind of want to see TikTok banned. I think it’s done far more harm than good.

Despite all of the news around TikTok, I suspect it’s here to stay. America wouldn’t just let a mindless social media experience be taken from them without a fight.

That leaders like Trump are possible at all here is proof that the system didn’t work to begin with.

Trump is only a symptom of much bigger problems.

Unpopular opinion, but I think Christianity is a more fundamental danger to America than Trump. If it weren’t for Christians, Trump wouldn’t have won in 2016 to begin with.

It’s hard reconciling the fact there are many things Trump says and does worth laughing at with the fact he’s a serious threat to humanity.

It’s a small relief watching civil war break out between Republicans before Trump even takes office.

Is it just me, or are Januaries reliably riddled with apocalyptic omens?

Despite Dorito Unleashed retaking office in a few weeks, I have a surprising amount of optimism for this new year.

Hard to believe it’s been a whole decade since the election already. Only one eternity to go till the next!

During Trump’s last presidency, many of his supporters felt emboldened. But their brazen hatred inspired a colossal backlash from progressives that we’re still feeling the effects of today. It’s not hard for me to envision some positives emerging from these next four years.

For the party of pronouns, I’m surprised sometimes at how binary Democratic discourse has become. Thoughts can fall on spectrums. I can believe Trump is a grave danger and still find fault with the Democratic party that couldn’t put up a better fight against this blundering breed of Fascism.

I just woke up and had the totally novel insight: Trump=bad. Why didn’t anyone think to say it before!? I’ll be accepting applause and donations now.

Did you guys know… and you’ve probably never heard or even considered this before… that Trump is unfit for office?

Republicans will definitely use it as an excuse to pardon real criminals, but these commutations are necessary.

I hope Biden pardons all of the Democrats that Trump has made it clear he’ll be targeting.

Really thrilled with Biden granting clemency to 1,500 people who actually deserve instead of insurrectionists who tried to overthrow the government.

Biden could swipe a six pack from my fridge, puke on my carpet, and hit on my girlfriend, and still be a better bro than Trump.

And no one can tell me with a straight face that Mr. Incredible isn’t a hero

Butters is more of a chiller than a walker.

One of the craziest things about life is that it never gives you a moment to stop and pause. One day, we elect a felon and rapist as the president, and just a month later, it’s as though that dystopian reality is the only one we've ever known.

"If our institutions don’t survive this next decade, the enduring life they’ve lived is still worth being thankful for. We’ve all witnessed a slow-rolling degradation of our democracy. The whimpering cries of these past few years are those of a creature in pain."

From gerrymandering and all of the erratic uncertainty of the Electoral College to the unlimited sums of cash that we allowed to enter into our political process, it’s been clear for well over a decade that our democracy is in dire straits.

This piece was a fun challenge. Sometimes, it feels like an article contains too many ideas and would best be splintered off into multiple separate pieces. Other times, disparate ideas congeal into something that I feel works, like this part review, part memoir, and part political screed:

Biden could stand in the middle of fifth avenue and shoot somebody and he still… wait a minute.

I can’t help but feel the same.