I feel sick from eating too much again, idk why I do this to myself.

I am like, beyond full now... Gonna make sure I drink lots of water and try to relax

Ugh dinner smells so damn goooood

Gonna have to have dinner early so I don't fuck up my stomach again but ughhh it's only 3pm I'm gonna be hungry later but I can't risk being woken up again and not sleeping again

Also I'm so damn sweaty and gross and I can't even shower til like Thursday ughhhh

Ugh did very lots of writing for the first time in a long time and I am fucking exhausted

I'm gonna get more snacks and also a soda cuz I gotta wait for safe water to cool cuz I do not drink room temp or warm water unless I HAVE to (our water tastes like mold or something idk it's just our taps not shower it could be dead bugs festering idk I just feel nasty drinking that filthy water)

Ugh headache came back right away WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME

Yeahhh headache feels better... I needed food fucking hell not eating even for a lil bit of time while healing is a killer

Cookie helped with headache, now it's brekkie time. I think I needed food, y'all

Also now triggered twice in two different ways so like, awesome. People need to watch what they say and not say dumb shit to me without at least fucking asking or something idk.

Guess today I'm just gonna be hella fucking insecure huh. Waking up gf made me feel like a bad person which like, cool wtf brain that's not a normal response. Guess it's just that kinda day.

Why does everything already have to suck so hard this morning? I've been up forever I'm in so much pain cuz of this stupid headache I'm so exhausted but I can't even sleep I got triggered by someone saying some dumb shit they don't understand and I just wanna cry and go to bed and eat food :(

Ugh why do I have to get triggered in the morning on top of everything else? Like today hasn't been tough enough for me and it's only 10am

My head is fucking killing me idk what to do I can't even lay down properly yet or anything!!! And I'm out of safe drinking water too! And I can't take anything for it for several hours still!!!

Ugh why am I feeling literally faint??? Bro I ate sooooo much yesterday and it's not even been 15hrs and I feel faint?!??! Like again I know I've been awake all night so I'm sure that doesn't help but this seems a little dramatic ngl

Could the headache be from not eating for 14hrs? That's not very long, and I was supposed to be asleep... Or dehydration cuz of what I ate? But Ive been drinking liquids... Air pressure??? Whatever it is acetaminophen did nothing for it.

I need a psych but idk how long the wait list is and idk if I wanna know how long it is either. Think I would rather stay unmedicated with no therapy at this point.

I wanna eattt already but I caaaaant ughhhh

Why does today have to be a bad pain day??? Is it cuz I didn't sleep? This seems unfair

Ugh headache!!!!! And just overall ache in general

Period makes me super touch-adverse which sucks cuz I also miss affection (post-op makes it hard to even hug) but now I just feel so uncomfy and gross on top of everything so awesome. Not good for pain today sadly. Sleep would've helped if I got any...

It's so cold this morning which is nice but I'm shivering!

Managed to stay under 2k cals for Thanksgiving so that's cool! Also 2k cals MAX if my maths are all fucked up, even cooler!

Ugh, of course I have to be woken up by my ostomy bag. I'll be lucky if I get more sleep now. I already have only slept like 2 hours.

Okay gonna attempt some sleep. At least oxy should help with the cramps on top of the back pain lol, I cannot wait to get these drains out and get this bandage off and get off these stupid meds I am so annoyed by them

Ugh cramps are making me feel like shit and making it hard to think :(

We have truly created art and love here 🩷💚 happy thanksgiving from me @angel-virus.bsky.social !!!

Had a proper nap for once

Hopefully nap time I'm very tired

I am sooooo so full, now I'm gonna chillax for a while til dinner

Time for charcuterie!!! She's so beautiful

Starting the food posting off today with an adorable omelette my gf made for me! Has chicken bacon, cheese, and onion in it! (Mine is on the left, her's is on the right)

Of course my period started today again, but at least I get a lot of comfort food about it!!!

Pulled my wrist real funny and bad this morning, and then also I think one of my drains is slowly slipping out so that's fun!! At least it has stitches so it can't move much more but I can see why it hurts now

You guys better be prepared for all the food posting I'm gonna be doing tomorrow. Sorry if I make y'all hungry, but I am FEASTING tomorrow and I wanna be a show-off about my food for once cuz for once I could actually afford and eat nice stuff without any guilt attached

Casseroles are prepared to be cooked tomorrow (they will look way better tomorrow just you wait they will be beautiful and golden)

Potato casserole is ready for tomorrow, turnip puff is on the way!

This headache is not going away no matter what I do, air pressure is killing meeeee fuck off

Also they're both leaking on either side so I'm less worried now. Technically they've been in a lil longer than supposed to but I couldn't get an appointment til this coming Tuesday. If it starts to hurt a lot, or it changes into a scary colour, I'll go to the hospital early but ehhhh

Making casseroles today I'm very excited

Medication update: no side effect yet. Last time I had this medication I felt feverish and really sick for a while (didn't know I had an infection you aren't supposed to take it with any signs of infection) so I feel pretty great

One of my drain wounds is leaking juuuust a little bit. It's not bright red, it seems like it's okay. I get them out in a couple days now, and I don't wanna go to the hospital about it unless it's serious

I did it!!!! The needle felt like literally nothing but the medication stiiiiings

Get to try to stab myself with a new needle today. I'm sure it'll be fine, I just need to stop hesitating when I do it cuz that always makes it worse lol. I'll do it before breakfast so I can earn my food lolll

Also gonna try and figure out a closet costume for Halloween cuz I wanna trick or treat and I should be okay enough to I just really don't wanna wear the same costume I do every single year

I hate being up so early cuz I get hungry early but I can't even do anything about it for hours and it feels like I'm suffering for no good reason :( at least wish I slept normal ever or at least was kind of resting for the last several hours.

Up and down all night but I did sleep a bit at least

Bedtime soon I can feel the oxy working. Cannot wait to get this stupid bandage off so I can sleep normally and not need a medication to dull the pain, it's getting kind of exhausting it never even feels like real sleep cuz clearly my body hurts too much to sleep but I'm forcing it to anyway :/

Anyway I ate my 4 whole cookies today and chips and an extra serving of chana and a big pretzel and I'm HAPPY I ate yummy food!!!! (Also ate more than that but those aren't odd foods for me)