Happy Valentine's Day! (In some times zones maybe oops) Heres pg 1 of a smol comic I commissioned from /@WolfaNSFW on Twitter! Will be releasing in chunks to savor the art lol She did a great job again. Super happy with how it came out! Wasnt intended to be a V Day thing but it worked out that way

I feel pathetic for wanting to die for feeling lonley, but can't help it sometimes. Feeling so alone inside my own head, which already feels like such a nightmare. I hate living in my own head. I hate having to listen to my anxieties all the time, and being the only one to share my interests with

I genuinely feel worthless. Like my only value to people is what I can give. The only objective value I feel in myself is helping people. I don't feel like my presence itself is any sort of good thing. I'm not interesting or remarkable, I feel my continued existence always needs better justification

I'm deleting this and probably a lot of the other sad posts soon because there's no value to them existing and it's always just a selfish indulgence in my own misery, but I can help vocalise these thoughts sometimes because I fucking hate keeping them in my head

I am still thinking about establishing myself a bit more, if that sentence makes any sense. I'm thinking about making a SFW BlueSky because I do want to make art that isn't horny... and I already have. I don't want to abandon horny art, don't worry. My story idea isn't SFW, there's sex in the plot.

asdfmovie16 is peak and also creeps me out, because asdfmovie is a thing I've technically been a massive fan of since I was 5 (not supposed to be but still) Now, TADC is something I've been a massive fan of... For only the last two weeks. Then asdf16 comes out and half the cast is TADC cast TOM!?!

I was in editing class and randomly got the urge to figure out how to motion track cartoons into real life. It wasn't what the assignment was at all, we're doing colour grading stuff. Oh well, hope it looks good anyway

Special surprise may be coming this Valentine's Day... No it's got nothing to do with my still unfinished Valentine's Day comic that I've been trying to plan the second half of and with a name I've grown to hate Also I mean that. I am trying to finish more of it, but the surprise is unrelated lol

Ahjhhh haha I'm sad again. To many things make me fucking sad. My two main hobbies make me think about things that make me sad. Life is busy and stressful. And other hobbies I have make me feel like I'm wasting time. Fuck fuck fuck fuck! I was doing better when I was compartmentalizing my feelings

Idk if this is out of character for me, but I'm feeling feisty. I watched Iron Lung and I glanced at many of the negative Letterboxd reviews... Uh, don't let anyone who dislikes Iron Lung for being "too boring" watch Better Call Saul. They'll will die from bordem.

When I feel better about one thing, another one of the billion stressors in my life immediately takes its place. I feel genuinely so tired. And when I think about feeling tired, I get so incredibly sad. The idea of wasting my time, and thinking about all the time I've wasted makes me cry

What's funny is that... Immediately after thinking to myself "I want to establish a bit of canon and lore even if I haven't used it much" I immediately ALSO had the thought of going a little crazier, fucking around and doing some looser, non-canon stuff. As if I'm making fan-fic of... My own stuff??

Now, art wise. I want my next thing to be a bit of a lore dump. There's things I want to tell, as well as things I want to clarify. My anxiety makes me imagine the worst ways people can interpret some of my art, but also, there is a canon I want to more properly establish with my characters.

Feeling good. Had a LOOONG 8hr talk with my mom today It's helped me to rethink a few things more positively, and rethink much of how I felt about her She's not perfect, but I feel so much safer around them, and like I've gotten some parental validation I've felt was missing for a while

I feel so sad. I don't know why

I hate myself so much. Not only in the way of just feeling like shit, but I also hate my stupid shit brain, so riddled with issues and conditions and illnesses conditioned from birth that I have no control over now and stop me from enjoying any aspect of life of wanting to fulfil any passion I have

I would love to make a cartoon show so much. But I also worry nobody would want to make it. I wouldn't be able to handle the pressure. And it'd suck or I would end up hating it, only capable of seeing the flaws, even if ppl loved it. I want the drive to get my ideas out but they aren't worth telling

I want to die. Again. This isn't saying I intend to or know how to, just stating that I am not happy, and feel like the world I live in is incapable of making me happy in any way in the long term at least. I can't fix any of it because moneyyyy, and I just feel so tired of life, being sad or anxious

You don't deserve props for raising children just because they made it to adulthood. You don't deserve anything back from them. You forced someone into existence. If you feel entitled to anything like that just because it technically takes effort to legally care for someone, you don't deserve a kid

I hate how the parents who are most likely thoughtful and self aware enough to be able to parent a child well, don't tend to be the parents bringing the most children in the world. The world is broken and I hate it

Its impossible to talk to anyone. I can't talk to strangers because they don't really know me. Not to friends because they don't deserve to have to deal with me. My parents gave up trying to parent me even before I was an adult. Therapy is too expensive. And talking to myself makes me wanna give up

Learning the meaning of all these words I heard in passing that I didn't realize applied to me. Today's was "ruminating" which I do alot. Also I might have "Responsibility OCD" or otherwise just a constant worry of causing harm and believing people are mad at me.

And I just want to sleep. I want to give up. I want to wake up and not be me. But right now I wish I could sleep. I wish I could feel happy. I wish there was one person in this entire world who at the very least understood me and could comfort me. Tho if I did, I feel I wouldn't be deserving of that

I'm tired. I'm so fucking tired. I'm remembering why I wanted to die. Because enjoying life to long makes me feel like I shouldn't, and I'm scared of people and the idea that in a terrible person, and the art I make is harmful. I don't feel confident that if I think for myself, I'll be correct.

I need help. I don't know what to do tho. Like, my brain is a fucking garbage mess. I can't break down any walls with people, at least like, not without years of time. And even then the friends Im most comfortable around aren't fuckin therapists who might call me crazy cuz I make art of cats fucking

Like, I have a whole story for Lucy and Marshall. I know where they met, how their relationship formed, who they are as people, their mental health, how they grew up, where they live at certain parts of a timeline. I want to share it but I don't know how. There's ways to, but I'm not doing them!!

I'm scared of being wrong or bad beyond improvment in the eyes of others. I don't like it when people are mad at me. I feel like if I was someone who got signal boosted and known as "one of the bad art people" I would just kill myself, because if I'm not liked, Idk if I have anything to live for.

No matter how hard I try, I cant help but feel like Im wrong for being who I am, or even wanting to. I worry if I "got better" that's be bad. Same with my anxiety. Like if my anxiety was gone, would I feel like doing anything? If my worry was gone, would I fully become the bad person Im scared I am?

I don't know where this came from. I don't know. I don't feel like there's a single person in my life I could go to and not feel a level of judgment from. I don't feel like I deserve to not feel bad tho.

I want to make my art how I want and share it. And I can't. I just fucking can't help but think about people seeing it, and telling me all of the ways I'm harming the world by existing and by my art existing. I feel disgusting and sexist all the time, but I have no reason not to believe them.

I made art to escape. I used to feel happy doing it but I just feel so much pressure. And I can tell it's making it worse for people. I see my art on like e621 like far less positive ratings than when my art was far worse, but I was far more comfortable and less overthinky with what I made

I am so Heald back. In everything. I would make my characters into a film if I didn't feel like the fucking grossest pervert wanting to make it. I feel like part of the reason I'm so hyper focused on wholesome art is because if i make anything else, I have no reason to believe im not disgusting

Like, there's a part of me that I guess knows these feelings are temporary, but I don't understand how they go away. I feel so uncomfortable about people seeing my art. I can't help but just imagine the most judgmental people seeing everything I make and telling me I'll never be a good person

I'm not feeling good. Anxious again. I just want to sleep..I want to fucking sleep. That God damn car lesson has like, set back so much calm I had. I feel like shit. Fucking awful shit. I feel so uncomfortable about so many things. I want to sleep. I feeeel fucking terible

Very panicky day. Sorry. To make it up, here's a WIP for one half of the next page of that comic that's somehow dragged on for almost a year.

Calming down I guess? Idk. Thinking I'm going to upload my old art to Newgrounds but explain my thought processes and things I dislike about them, but idk if that comes across weird? Like defensive or something? Idk if I should listen to that worry or tell it to go fuck itself

I feel so terrible, and i feel so helpless. I feel stuck. I can't feel comfertable talking to anyone in a way that would help. I dont feel comfertable with anyone. I cant get better. I cant afford therapy. I want help so bad. Im so anxious and scared and idk what i can do other than shout in a void

So I made a Newgrounds. That's something I've wanted to do but never really put any thought into what I do next once I did it Like, I feel like I should upload my old art to it, but when I look at it all, I get so overwhelmed with anxiety and feel the urge to delete everything and disappear forever

I'm feeling nothing but dread right now. I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't want to stay where I'm at, I don't want to go. I'm thinking about all the shit I have to do this week, how my weekend won't be a stress less one, and I just want to fucking stop and I can't. And I fucking hate driving.

I'm realizing how heavily I mask. As in, obviously I mask in public... But I don't think there's ever a time or place where I feel fully comfortable I don't live alone, hanging with friends is fun but still active, and the internet isn't an escape and more so a second place I feel the need to mask

What if I made some new characters? On the other hand, what if I also just show off more of the character I have in my current ones Y'know, I fuckin wish I could just take a few days in a row to just draw, let alone more than a few hours in a week I hate being busy, I have so many ideas

It's exhausting to realize you're masking, and walling yourself off ALL the time I started EggNaug to give myself a small place where I could be more "cringe", enjoy looking at art, and draw what I wanted, and I feel like I just fell into the same stagnant hole Often I wish I could start life over

When your crush asks for your thoughts on something because to some degree, they value your opinion 🥰

Happy (day into) New Year!

Thinking about starting a Newgrounds page. What's stopping me? Uh... I keep forgetting to. That's it lol

Cozy Cuddling Christmas Cats

Bro has his weiner out AGAIN?

Here's another one, but with a more recent doodle being reused lol. Again, just more movement practice, and also anatomy practice kinda. Don't know if I'll do anything else with this.

Been practicing more animation. Last night, I took some older doodles and tried animating them. It's a lot more fun to animate on a tablet than on your phone lol. I might actually do it more, but for real. (Again this one's probably just for practice cuz it's an old af drawing)

Fursona but painting? Yeah, did this on my tablet and actually experimented for once, with different brush types and techniques. So made it look like a painting which... I like the idea of doing more. But Idk if this actually looks good or looks like ass.