Why are they doing solo confessionals as their character?

Beyond the Chocolate War

In a game the Pistons won by 14 Ron Holland was a minus 26.

It's after midnight so I think it's safe to show you this stupid, ugly fucking Cybertruck that I saw when I was shopping the other day. I legitimately yelled out loud and pointed at it even though no one else was around to see.

shhhhh the Onion sale went up live three hours early don't tell anybody membership.theonion.com

Mike Heath Catcher-RF Debut: 1978 - Retired: 1991 STL - DET - OAK - ATL - NYY

Very fun fact for you, from @JJMichalski : Ben Sheets' start was the day before Miz was born !!!

Sarah Shahi on Kimmel

As always, Fuck the ACC

I expect Cade’s collapsed lung will be healed after March Madness, conveniently.

Recently widowed woman in our neighborhood turned 90 today. My wonderful wife organized a couple dozen neighbors to surprise her & sing Happy Birthday on her front lawn. Every single person involved had their day made. Get to know & look out for your neighbors. Human connection rules. Fuck AI.

Bring back Barry Alvarez

YouTube knows I finished Requiem and need new jump scares.

The UFC has an “Abu Dabhi, baby” card a month after the Trump Birthday Card.

How is the war in the Middle East going to affect the Middle East sports washing?

How do you get an ID without an ID?

The High Point call of the block

But then he found out about money.

⚾️ OOTP 27 GIVEAWAY ⚾️ Want to build the next great baseball dynasty? I’m giving away 3 Steam keys for Out of the Park Baseball 27! How to enter: 💬 Reply to this post with your favorite baseball player of all time! ⏳ Deadline: Winners will be randomly selected this Friday at 8:00 PM ET.

Did I release a hard jinx?

Wally Szczerbiak getting drunk again.

Why would I need more than one bracket?

And yet Micah Shrewsberry

Who would win at chess?

More people were upset they called him Chet Hanks instead of Chet Haze. What a dumb show.

@scottaukerman.bsky.social You’re a real talk show host to me.

Somebody gotta retire Dickie V

WHY DOES EVERYONE PUT A WHITE SCORE ON YELLOW BACKGROUND IN THE SCORE BUGS ARE THEY HAVING A LAUGH

Keep going

SVP, “would you autobench a guy with two fouls in the first?” Stanford Steve, “it depends” Brother, that’s a no.

Couple at the next table on what appears to be a first date: Man: There's no team I've spent more time hating than the Mariners Woman: You're an Astros fan? Man: Mariners fan.

And then it’s just Ben Gordon and Charlie Villanueva.

Billions is going to be trash

The Lions shift to a 3-3-5/3-2-6 but not telling anyone is basically complete.

I would let someone else open it but I would go to my grave saying I loosened it.

Can’t tell if a voice is Gabrus or Moynihan

The Meijer still has their old gas prices lit up from when the construction started on their gas pumps. Two fucking 35

I don’t need either of these American teams to make the bracket.

March!

Coen Carr vs Shannon Brown

That was a psychotic way to hold a coney dog.

Political Profile: James Talarico https://theonion.com/political-profile-james-talarico/

Never not throwing people under the bus.

six years ago today #NeverForget

Was haralabob busy? He loves talking about how smart he is.

Was haralabob busy? He loves talking about how smart he is.

This is not at all related to the article below, but when I was skimming the skyline I thought the person in the photograph was wearing an X-Wing flight suit

Didn’t Never Not Funny have more conversation with the guests?