You read Guardian articles that remind you of the NYT. I read Guardian articles that remind me of the Onion. We are not the same.

If you put ice in the ladel and swirl it around on top of the Gulf, the oil should stick to the ladel.

Sinusmaxxing, allergymogged

When you accidentally flip flop your scheduled X and Bluesky posts

…from the sky… while it’s on fire

Nostalgia is a weapon. You don’t miss the early 2000s, you miss being a stupid child. You want to be stupid again. You want your parents to take care of you. You are 12.

You know this dude’s cooked when even some of the bluemaga’s in his comment section are like “very good, thank you sir but why don’t you like trans people?” When you’ve lost the intellectual equivalent of the cardboard fans they used for covid sports crowds, you know it’s time to hang it up.

Tough to do this when you supposedly don’t have a navy…

WHamilton!

French: mewwww

Everybody that gets wrongfully detained/arrested/kidnapped gets one, who says no

Jay’s going to get DHS and Markwayne’s getting Bluesky. I’ve seen enough games of corporate reorgs to know where this is headed

That next phase? Profitability. Get ready for user experience to 📉

Dixiecrats are alive and well folks

Pretending like we're stupid.

I guess I’m watching Con-Air today

Kind of feels like Trump unknowingly seized Maduro and all his shit oil, took that back to the oil execs proudly, they explained this graphic to him, and he promptly sent the US Navy to go fetch a fat bag of that good good Iranian bambam.

Woke up in the middle of the night, read this thread, watched the “Cypher Steakhouse” scene in The Matrix and went back to sleep

Did Trump, Putin, or Bibi die overnight?

Hard not to fed post with headlines like that.

Tell your friend to open his eyes or I’ll open them for him

Not sure how I’m supposed to take that as anything other than the intent to genocide a nation of nearly 100 million human beings. This isn’t jailing territory. It’s bunker suicide territory.

Who is Charlie Kirk? Is he like the meme?

There are so many Mainers on here that need to read this. We’re in the primaries. It’s not too late to admit you made a mistake. It’s a difficult time for media literacy and being from the area can make it even harder to determine what’s true. But this is your chance to admit it.

Another day, another painfully simple exercise in logic that quickly proves Platner’s a lying Nazi.

@economist.com sniveling centrist ghouls, have fun being sued into the irrelevancy you so richly deserve.

“I’m an easy mark with substandard media literacy.”

Where does one find a Jaqen H’ghar in this world?

The only thing you can count on is not being able to count on John Fetterman.

He now talks like he’s trying really hard not to do an impression of Colin Jost impersonating him

My man was so fucking close to stumbling into a correct answer.

Going into a closed door meeting with my team at work. Hope I don’t get Noem’d while in there

Iran furiously googling “Doral, FL on a map”

How to slit the throat of your ‘28 campaign with one little sentence.

You can shoot your own puppy. You can steal and defraud hundreds of millions from the American people. You can have a salacious affair on the taxpayer’s dime and lie to congress about it. You can arrest and kill American citizens. But if you blame the President for any of it…

People of Maine, I implore you to reach out to Dems in PA and ask if they regret their vote for Fetterman. You have the opportunity to fix the mistake before you make it.

Great so Platner’s wife is just as dumb as him? Not sure what your point is other than you think it’d be real nifty if your old coke dealer was a senator.

Sure, we’ve had presidents that feared jail time and started wars over it. But have we ever had any that feared the jail time because they know what happens to a pedophile in prison?

“I decided to help out and deescalate his arm bone from his other arm bone.”

Worth noting that even if this interview were stationary, Fetterman would sound just as out of breath, physically distressed, and panicked. See the twitch of regret after he emotionally hurls the republican line of “Sorry we killed a terrorist, he was your friend.” Small man for such a big guy.

Imagine having a Democratic Party so coalesced that there was a simultaneous response from every Dem Senator calling for his immediate arrest, condemning the assault of anyone, and thanking the vet for his service. Ah, well

Ooooh sure, Kristi Noem can put down her dog but I can’t encourage Netanyahu to do the same with his?

“Yeah, there could be” x 4 You can just hear him squirming.

Holy shit Platner is proving that people really don’t understand when they’re being sold a load of shit. “He was literally providing gun training to antifa socialists!” “You mean the guy who sat down to the interview wearing a free palestine shirt?” “He got rid of the tattoo!”

I saw someone waxing poetic on Substack about how Karoline needs to be “relegated to the primordial racist goop from which she emerged” and while I can admire the language: No. These people need to be incarcerated. They can never be allowed to see the comfort of their primordial goop again.

Man, you guys are just desperate to find something that’ll give your nazi boy a pass with the rest of us that have morals.