ICE FORCE So all the little childrens who love ICE have been saying they want to play with the ICE instead of Cabbage Patch Kids or Go-Bots. So I have come up with some concepts for the childrens to nag their parents for. These are top quality folks! Concept 1000% created in the america. You…

one Good turn deserves another Anyway, apparently there is all this hoopla in Minnemouslipse? Somewhere in that state. According to the news reports that the TV people keep talking about one of my highly trained ICE FORCE (coolest name ever) shot an unarmed and scared civilian. Now this was…

no business like show business So one of the things that I most regret is that I never really got to live out that Hollywood lifestyle and make a lot of documentaries about stuff. Like, I was in that documentary Home Alone you know. That was fun. It was an after school special I think. Something…

false flag Parody of "White Flag" by Dido I know you think I was on that plane,But I’ve told the world again and again.Those flight logs are just a hoax,I was golfing, folks — that’s no joke. And though the cameras caught my face,I’ll just shout “deep state!” to save my base.The lies are bigger…

the art of the apocalypse You know, a lot of people are saying it. Bigly people, Smart people, the Best people. They’re saying, Hey, you might actually be the guy from the Bible, that guy, the Antichrist! And I say, well, if I am, I must be the greatest Antichrist in the history of Antichrists.…

secret asset man Secret Asset Man(Parody of “Secret Agent Man”) There’s a man who tweets his stories,Every night and every day.He’ll confuse you with his glory,Then deny it all away! Secret Asset Man, Secret Asset Man,They’ve given you a codename,And taken your brain away! He was Epstein’s…

the real kasnov, it was me after all ALWAYS WAS I really love that GOP guy in the congress.  That leader guy.  You know, Don Johnson. He was great when he like was the FREELY AND FAIRLY ELECTED representative of Miami Vice and He was great in the documentary that I watched over labor day when I…

land of delusion Sung to the tune of "Land of Confusion" by the Genesis Verse 1I must’ve scrolled a thousand tweets,Echoes of rage on late-night feeds.I thought I heard the truth last week,But it was just replay of a rally speech. ChorusThis is the land of delusion,Where facts are drowned in…

no flag left behind You know what I love or at least barely tolerate?  The flag of the america.  Really I am the least patriotic guy I know, other than maybe that Eggs Benedict.  But my base, you know, they are a bunch of flag whackos.  I think that they would hug the flag or maybe kiss it, give…

copying is the sincerest form of flattery So all the press lately has been on my TRUTHS and TWATS that I spend days crafting into perfect little bits of what I am thinking. Very digestible, these bits of what I am thinking. Luckily, Not a lot of mentions of my very successful and history making…

fore the homeless You know what I don’t want to see? Homeless people being homeless on the way to my many, many golf outings that cost the taxpayers like 1.5 million dollars per trip. That is like 80K per hole! Amazing! I wish my clubs would really bring in these dollars for real, then I could…

roses smell like poop You know, at my heart, I’m a builder. Like, real estate is my passion. Building stuff. That is what I was groomed for by my daddy. Donny he always said, that is what he called me, Donny. Donny, if you ain’t building you are wasting my time and yours is what he told me. So I…

the real kasnov, it wasn’t me after all, NEVER WAS Can you believe it? I can’t! The real perpetrator, or “perp” as I hear it called by the TV People was Obiden all along! It’s totally unbelievable! Turns out that nasty ex-lesser president, Obiden was the real Kasnov all along and not me! He was…

scribbles and doodles So the latest lib-o-crat propaganda is that I draw naughty pictures of women which is outrageous because I totally respect women. Nobody respects them more. I’ve been sued in civil and criminal courts because of how deeply I respect them. That’s just how much respect we’re…

the art of the gift People just give me gifts all the time. I must be one of those kinds of people. You know. Lucky I guess. That’s it! I am a very lucky guy. Like when that whole Epstein list went missing. That is how lucky I am. Anyway, people just give me things all the time and I just put them…

blame biden! (To the tune of “Blame Canada”) Times have changed, our leaders have gone cold,They shred the Constitution, just to pander and to scold. Should we blame Donald Trump?Or those GOP thugs?Or all the crazy rants they air on FOX & Friends with mugs? No!Blame Biden! Blame Biden!With his…

gators, phones, and deportations Everyone is talking about me being mean to the illegals immigrants.  All the time.  I’m tired of all this criticism.  I’m only doing what the people, me, want you know.  Nothing less!  But I’m trying hard not to be mean.  You know like I think I might have stopped…

make babies, not sense You know, as a perfect male specimen—Tall, virile, big boned, blonde, virile, straight and virile I have a vested interest in the entire female body.  Straight men and women (maybe bi is okay, not sure?) need to be making babies to fuel this great nation of ours, the…

diet coke and destruction My dreams have come true! I am a war time president! The best war time president. You know. Better than that other guy. You know the crippled one? That guy. I am not even crippled! That automatically makes me better! My most perfect uncrippled body. All the doctors say…

operation nothing One of my biggest regrets is that I was not able to conduct any wars. You know. Be a great war leader like those in the old days. Like Jefferson “Garfield” Davis, like he was a great wartime leader and President. I’m sure there are others, but the people in the america. They…

just a little peace and quiet You know, I am the most peaceful guy ever.  Like even the most peaceful President ever.  That is why I get so angry all the time!  Like these wars I promised to end.  They just keep dragging on.  Forever.  Why can’t I stop them?  Am I just not good looking enough to…

MY STRUGGLE with PROTESTORS All I want to do is make the america great again. It’s a simple goal. Not complicated. Take the america, which is clearly not great (thank you, Sleepy Cancer Joe), and then make it great. How? Easy. I bypass Congress and the Gordita Supreme, cancel DEI, deport some…

ICE DOESNT MELT I keep hearing about this hoopla over there in leftyland. You know leftyland with that Gavel Newsome guy that I hate but my Melonia seems to be infatuated with. You know. That state. Anyway looks like my secret police, ICE (coolest name ever) went to deport some illegals immigrants…

i want to appoint the very best You know, I have the best appointees.  The very best.  I only want the best.  But not too much the best.  I can’t have anyone of them shine brighter than me.  That would just be bad and sad.  I need to be the first best.  Everyone else can be second or third best. …

friendship is hard okay OH!  I hate that Leon Musk so much! I used to love him, not I hate him! Why is friendship so hard?  You know, he is an illegals immigrant.  Just how the hell did he get access to me and the old and smelly white house?  This is an outrage!  I’m going to find out about this…

unsecurity You know, ever since I was a little lad I have always been really unsecure.  DON’T LAUGH.  Like, I always felt that I wasn’t good enough for my dad or brother or anyone.  That is why I have to hide my very small hands and feet all of the time.  I’m very unsecure about them, being so…

mr roboto You know. A lot of my problems are from that Cancer Joe Biden. All my problems. He is actively trying to ruin my very beautiful and successful 47st Presidency. You know, it was already super successful but imagine how much more successful if that Steeling Joe Biden didn’t steel that…

seeing red Look, Vladimir, I had no knowledge of what the Ukraine was going to do! You have to believe me. You know that Voldemort over there. I thought he had no cards left. You remember I TRUTHED that. That was our code phrase for that Ukraine had not updated us with any military intelligence…

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a sad day for foodies and i guess elon Mark this day on your PDA or whatever you use to keep track of days in months. It is a sad day for many reasons. First is that my sweet prince Leon Musk is leaving the special government employee position that I just made up and going back to his beloved…

taco tuesday, wait wednesday So there is another fake news story going around that I am a TACO.  Do you know what means?  I sure as hell didn’t.  I got ambushed by some fake news reporter saying that the markets are rebounding because of TACO.  So I am standing there wondering just what the hell…

the fall of the house of harvard So this whole Ukranine, ending the war, day 1.  You know.  These things are hard.  Once a war starts it is very hard to stop you know.  I figured that because Putin was my KGB handler for many years that we shared some kind of connection.  You know.  A comradeship…

on a plane to nowhere So my latest scheme to bypass that lousy Gordita Supreme is to just load people onto planes and just lose the plane.  Seems pretty fool proof if you ask me.  For some reason, that Gordita Supreme thinks that they can just order me around with like their injunctions or…

what about me? thingsithoughtupallbymyself.com/2025/02/17/w...

Budget? What is the deal thingsithoughtupallbymyself.com/2025/02/17/b...

86 accountability or MY STRUGGLE with RETENTION You know what? People are always trying to pin things on me. Like, What I said or did. That is why I practice the most carefully controlled retention program in the white house. Have I mentioned how old and haunted that place is? So hunted. Meloina…

The most perfect book ever written, better than that bible I keep hearing about thingsithoughtupallbymyself.com/2025/02/14/t...

MY STRUGGLE in ending the war in Ukraine, you know thingsithoughtupallbymyself.com/2025/02/13/m...

Trumpflation, you know thingsithoughtupallbymyself.com/2025/02/12/t...

You know, paper straws are bad, okay thingsithoughtupallbymyself.com/2025/02/11/y...

Gagaza, what is the big deal redux thingsithoughtupallbymyself.com/2025/02/10/g...

groceries, what is the big deal, you know thingsithoughtupallbymyself.com/2025/02/07/g...

Money, you know thingsithoughtupallbymyself.com/2025/02/06/m...

You Know, Trumpville Has A Nice Ring To It thingsithoughtupallbymyself.com/2025/02/05/y...

everything must go! So the biggest fake news story out of my very successful and lucrative trip to the Middle East?  Is that where I am?  No wonder it is so hot.  So hot here.  I really hate to sweat because I got to drink some diet coke to replenish all those lost fluids and they just don’t have…

i am the most immigrant accepting president ever Everyone is always telling me, hey why you hate immigrants? I see it all day on the truthX or something. Maybe it was the TicTok? Anyway. People always say I hate immigrants. I don’t hate the immigrants! That is totally why I have that psychopath…

flying high II I just got the coolest gift ever. You want to guess what it is? You’ll never guess! A PLANE! Can you believe it? I was shopping around building a new Trump branded golf course that I could win many tournaments at and was looking around and looking around. You know, these countries.…

part of their world Look at this democracyIsn't it trash?Wouldn't ya think my dismantling’s complete?Wouldn't ya think I'm the presidentThe president who has everything?Look at this office oval, Secretaries out the doorHow many suck ups can one white house hold?Lookin' around here you'd thinkSure,…

money, money, money I think everyone knows I love money. Love it. Like if I could just bathe in money like that Screwy McDuck, then I would. Trust me, it doesn’t work. All that happens is you get that weird penny taste in your mouth and your money ends up smelling like BO. You know, the body odor.…