wish i could afford to live

i have long legs and i'm gay, so i walk really fast. if you can't keep up, i'll carry you on my back like a little piggy ✌️😸💖

Load Fortnite. Hear Harry Potter music. Quit. Uninstall.

*crouch spam*

11 yo, found porno mags in a washing machine in the woods with older brother. See small ads for mail order vids & phone sex lines feat. nude trans women. Immediate inner recognition. Followed moments later by bro pointing at ads, remarking "Grooossss! Fuckin trannies!!" then my 25 years in closet.

if you live in a house with other people, maybe you shouldn't be shitting naked with the bathroom door wide open, maybe 🤷‍♀️

transpeon, but not like in a fun Pokémon kinda way

All Dicklords Must Die.

Artists, Quote with something silly 🎀💀🎀

i liek bideognames 🤓

skiddly pee-bop poo-plop wham pow! 🎷💩🎶

cold pot of old discount coffee, please save me 🫩

HasanAbi, our Beloved 😻

if I step on another goddamn dogshit I am going to fuckin explode why are these mf's not letting their dogs outside what the goddamn fuck dogs should be shittimg OUTSIDE 🤬🤬🤬

Big ol' booty dolla

transitioning is the best choice i’ve ever made in my life and the only regret i have with it is that i didn’t do it when i was younger

Self injection #9: small amount of blood and a bit of leakage, more so than usual. I blame the pharmacy for giving me the wrong needles, too short. The last batch of 25g were longer. These are def for sub cutaneous not intramuscular. Will have to go back and get the right ones before next week. 😤

My brain is like the Matrix: There is no spoon.

MFW looking in the mirror after shaving in the morning:

Why is he still alive?? 😭

Nuclear hot take: having your dog shit on the floor in the house is animal abuse. (Unless they are puppies, disabled, etc.)

... they called me "Kelly-girl-name"... and they were right.

Today I turned 42, the number of poo. 🎂💩🎉

Genital Inspector: Ma'am, I'm going to need to check you for balls. 🫷👮‍♂️ Me: No need, I have a license to scrote. ✌️😸

Erika Kirk and JD Vance are going to ruin eyeliner for me 🦝🦝😿

Fixed

DEI>AI Techno-fascists and Christo-cultists get fucked!!

get this AI shit out of my fuckin' everything! 🤬

All Billionaires Must Die.

dealing with an active pooter situation

i think i have drain bamage 🧠🤕💢

Every time my waifu sees this Ogryn, she points at him on the screen and says "Tom Homan!" 💁‍♀️

🗣 Death to the False Emperor!

why cant i pet the kitties!? 😿

"shits pee winning poo dook a plop bike piss ass" 🎵🎶🤶

Self injection #8: painless, bloodless, a bit more leakage than I've seen before, but no biggie. 🤷‍♀️

Cactussy

shits a blunderful strife

Naughty German sausage girl says: "I'm not like other brats, I'm the wurst!"

He deserves prison & death, not praise & medals. WTF 🤬

🎶🎵👩‍🎤 Do your balls hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie 'em in a knot? Can you tie 'em in a bow? Can you throw 'em o'er your shoulder like a Contiental soldier? Do you balls hang low?

Fuvking hell the downstairs housemate is moving his teenage kid into the spare room. Wtf I dont want to live with a goddamn child. I miss having choices. 😭

if I lose my astronomy outreach adjacent job because of satellite shenanigans, I will become a terrorist for real. Reflect Orbital my fucking balls and ass. You want daylight on demand? I want death to billionaires. Clownshit ass world wtf 😾

New housemate has decided its cool to feed her cat on the kitchen counter. I dont know about yall but i fuckin love cat hair and poopy cat foot germs in my food, and for the hairy cat with pissy shitty feet and a disgusting oozing eye infection to try and rub up against me and the food while I cook.

Self injection #7: painless, bloodless, very minor leakage, depressing the plunger was accompanied by a sensation of time dilation and peripheral vision tunneling simultaneuous with a drawn out phantom booming, as if I hit a power up in a video game.

🤏

D M D

chocolate counts as a vegetable, yeah

Share your favorite video game villain in a GIF if you can!

damn I thought I was a freak, but then I saw some bitches skeetin'