feeling considerably more trapped today after something that was supposed to be able to kill me was in fact not able to. i devised a whole doohickey and it did not hickey at all

something tells me if i allowed myself to have friends or family the past few years i would have poisoned and burned and paralyzed and frozen them by now

i think i killed myself four years ago and this is just the joke realm

😌 <-- dreaming of a world where humans don't exist (20 years from now)

i have too many things to prepare before dying but i cant take it bro i need da VOID!!!!!!!!‼️‼️

i had a stupid life of sitting at computer and feeling bad

my old website is shut down but to change my handle on here would be to choose an identifier. but i am know one...

JOB INTERVIEW QUESTION PREP: You're going to die anyway, what difference does it make whether it's now or later?

got a new bit coming up that you're all going to love

got some new credit cards with the intent of maxing them out and not paying them off then realized i don't want anything, what are some good places to dump it all

How would YOU fare in the Unfollow Me Challenge

might invent the 2019 novel coronavirus

kiling my brane cels because theyve been bad

i just saw an ad for a toy story 5 and now i'm sure i've lived too long

when i was little i always thought in it's raining men she was saying "according to all sauces". a sauce made of men? eeyuck! i'll stick to tomato. i'm slightly smarter than this now and would eat the man sauce

when i was a kid on twitter back when replies were shown chronologically i managed to get the first reply to a tweet from obama that said "prepare to die mr president" with a shitty jpeg of a gun attached and i spent the next two weeks scared i would be arrested for it

were you a reveling in being edgy for edge's sake 14-year-old or a blindly parroting things you hear are morally correct 14-year-old

can't look up the definition of any word now without the first result being a dumbass ai app with it as the name

people born in 2008 can drink. that's so fucked up. no one should be able to

started a telegram group....planning something. Dm for access

do you think if everyone in the world cums at the same time it'll push the earth away a bit

still not used to not having my depth perception. when i watch pirates of the caribbean now i'm like where is he!! depp perception. pretend i said this one out loud so i didn't have to sell out the joke by spelling it right

think i saw menstrual pads that said "try me!" on them and now i'm imagining those toys with holes in the packaging to put your finger through but you put your pussy through it in the middle of the store

vegan tried to preach to me about how using land to forcefully breed and feed billions of caged animals to produce a fraction of that in calories for humans and releasing their waste into the air and lakes was bad for the environment but the hypocrite failed to realize their coat zipper was plastic

just realized why he's called big the cat

no one quotes borat anymore. did he... pass away? don't answer actually... my heart couldn't take it

one of the most traumatic experiences of my life was my crt monitor dying, scheduling to have it picked up by recycling, them not picking it up and a few days later seeing pieces of it kicked around and destroyed on a dirt patch by my building

I hope the oppressors step on a lego #Resist

only just learned how good the word blimp is

gender non cum foaming

dreamed i could do a perfect homer simpson voice and now i'm really sad i can't

there finally being a new crazy taxi and it being an ai game only reaffirms my decision to not look forward to anything anymore

keep thinking about rei ayanami kart racing with sonic and spongebob and laughing. i don't play fortnite so i'm not desensitized yet

had to boot up old website.exe to check something and i honestly miss the barebones css. don't remember why i decided i was too good for this

i had the flu last year and permanently lost my falsetto so i'm fully committed to giving people my true etto going forward

just interacted with another person for the first time. i think i now have the experience i need to write dialogue for my furry porn comic

had a nonstop worsening constantly validated sense of dread for five years now

look up "numa numa" for an outrageously funny webvid

why is there no normal-type music

if i had a british crown dependency i think i would kill myself

people who say they want to fuck pokémon are disgusting.. people who just fuck the pokémon are real ones

[in a city with a lot of buildings] is this building city or what

in 2023 i enjoyed daily driving a crt monitor and classic os theme, primarily visiting web 1.0 styled sites, using a 2000s phone and mp3 player, until i worried that by living as an inversion of it i was continuing to refer to it indirectly, until i realized i preferred those things for real reasons

for anyone looking for a decent search engine In 2026 unfortunately there aren't any but i've used startpage for a few years and that's currently the easiest to tolerate

MORE!!!!!! MOREMOREMORE MORE MORE!!!!!!!!!!! MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

um yeah dude those animals are dumber than us their suffering doesn't matter lmao [a few years later when we are no longer the smartest creatures] uhhhhhhh

Oh my god... I just got the news. Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II has... passed away

seeing a joke reddit comment and instinctually collapsing the reply chain below it because i know it's all going to be 50 people repeating the joke

i miss http

i don't care about what's on the computer anymore