New Magdalena Bay single, new Joy Crookes, Rochelle Jordan, & Doja Cat albums... My earholes can only enjoy so much amazing new music in one dayyyyy 😋

I hope I photograph okay, because when I look into a mirror, there's just a white haze...

When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year... Just keep swimming! Who's gonna join me in the sauna after I swim some laps 💦

Quote this post with your brief pics 😛

Didn't get raptured so instead imma listen to Pieces of the People We Love by The Rapture

Guess I almost missed Ginger Appreciation Day, so here's some pics from my first photoshoot(!) 7 years ago(!) where you can see more of my freckles. Also the headshot I used as my profile pic for a long time and a shot of my back tattoos because they were brand new then(!) ❤️‍🔥🍓🔥🍁💋

Blleerrraaarrrgggnnnhhfffhh, say it back

Please don't bash my hubby in the comments; he's not an abusive asshole, just a flawed man trying to stay afloat like the rest of us. I will always love him and hope we will be friends in the end. Be kind to yourselves and give grace to others when you can. Peace & power to y'all 🤘✌️

I don't often post my frustrations online because I've found it doesn't serve me to do so. I'd rather save this space for my frivolity. On that note, I moved out of my hubby's house a week ago while we separate. We've been together 5 years so this will obviously be a challenging change for me 🫨

Me huge, you smol

Need some good pipe 🪄

This bathroom mirror is lit by the unfiltered blinding white light borne of thermonuclear fusion in a main sequence star, anyway here's my morning wood today ☀️🍆😁

Quote with a photo where your booty is looking extra plump (Also I replied instead of quoting on my first attempt, so take two 😅)

The music channel at work plays exactly two Bowie songs: 1975's "Right" & 1986's "Absolute Beginners". Not that either are bad, (Right is probably my favorite track from Young Americans), but out of his entire ouevre, what an odd pair to choose 🧐

Since my cock ain't that fat, here's more of my booty to help fuel y'all's fatties 😜

Today's gym track is "Plastic Hips" by Siriusmo

Oops, my undies fell down 😛 happy hump day y'all 😘

There's plenty of room in the shower stall if you wanted to join me

How many ways can I look left? Tune in to find out, next week on "It's Always Hunny in Colorado"

Darling, you take the high horse and I'll take the high road 🤠

I may not have much, but I'm grateful for my good health and able body allowing me to work out & stay fit. Don't take yourself for granted; you might replace some parts, but you can't trade in your whole bod for a new one! Peace & power to y'all 🤘✌️

Y'all are so sweet, thank you for all the kind well wishes. Who wants to help me meet the spanking quota for my birfday ✋🍑🤚

I'm 38 today so here's my birfday suit! Gonna go to the Denver Gem Show and look at shiny things 🐚✨💎

Almost 40 now, time to embrace my dad bod era

Please clap (these cheeks)

I get wet at the thought of you 💦

Insert applicable quote from "Fergalicious" here

Workin' on my birfday suit, I still need to get it pressed & steamed

I hope my hubby knows how much I love him since I'm going to the gym with him even though SILKSONG IS HERE 😝

Silksong! Silksong! Silksong! Silksong! Silksong! Silksong! SILLLLLLKSONNNNNGGGG

Happy hump day, I hope y'all celebrate accordingly

A customer just told me she really likes my cologne. Not wearing any, cuz my delicate ginger skin can't handle fragrance, but glad I smell good 😋

Today's gym track is "Confetti" by Cold Cave

It's my birfday month! My hubby got me this chain, whaddy'all think

It's come to my attention that y'all like my buttocks

Some Saturday sauna time sounds nice, who's joining me

New phone since then, still the same boner... Happy #fcf fellas 😈

"Wiggle the hunny," said winnie the pooh

If y'all ask nicely, I'll share a little video of my 🍯 I made in this very spot

Gonna rinse off in the shower, anyone wanna join me?

1. Nine Inch Nails 2. Blockhead 3. Flying Lotus 4. Toro y Moi 5. Jessie Ware

My boss told me today is National Peach Day "to honor the delicious fruit and the farmers who cultivate it"... So a happy humpy 🍑 day to y'all 😘

Today's gym track is "Sex Paranoia" by Goldie Boutilier

I work out so I can sleep, for my heart condition, and so I'll look good nood. Not necessarily in that order on any given day 😴🫀🤗

It's Nice 2 B Nekkid (feat. Softie)

Forgive me if I lose track of a chat or don't remember you from another app. My brain doesn't hold the internets very well. I accept anyone's time & attention as gifts. If we've ever exchanged kindnesses, you're always welcome to say hello again. Thanks for the grace! Peace & power to y'all 🤘✌️

Not surprised, but Sword of the Sea is awesome... Why yes, I would like to vibe out to this gorgeous soundtrack while I ride a floating skatesword and restore this desert into a magical ocean, thank you kindly🗡️🏄‍♂️🌊💖

I'm flattered when someone says I look like some handsome famous man, but they're always incorrect. My celebrity doppelgänger is actually Sonny, voiced by Alan Tudyk in the 2004 film I, Robot. No further questions 🤖

Sweaty Swede (feat. Shorts)