Cardinal Dolan canonizes Kirk. Posobiec preaches fire safety. Kash Patel does late night. Meanwhile, snakes in Florida keep more dignity than our leaders. virginmonkboy.substack.com/p/saint-paul... #VirginMonkBoy #Satire #CharlieKirk #FreeSpeech #MAGA #PoliticalHumor #Substack

Texas, Louisiana & Arkansas want the Ten Commandments in schools. Fine. Virgin Monk Boy brought down the rebooted tablets: ✘ No canceling comedians ✘ No firing journalists ✘ And for God’s sake—no pineapple on pizza. 👉 www.virginmonkboy.com/p/the-ten-co...

Charlie Kirk started asking the wrong questions: Epstein files, Gaza’s Orthodox church, even cracks in conservatism itself. The Right’s fear wasn’t just wobble. It was that he’d flip. Go native. Join the ranks of apostates who already walked away. 🔗 www.virginmonkboy.com/p/when-the-g...

Evangelicals spent 40 years mocking Catholics for ‘saint worship’ — now they’ve got Saint Charlie and a whole new Inquisition.

Breath isn’t woo. It’s wiring. Monks knew it before neuroscience caught up: chant as nervous-system hack. Forget CrossFit. Sacred exhale is the original core training. ✨Breath as Second Food www.virginmonkboy.com/p/breath-as-... #VirginMonkBoy #Breathwork #Mysticism #Gurdjieff #SpiritualPractice

When the ‘Light of the World’ turns out to be FBI raid lights… La Luz del Mundo’s ‘Apostles’ built a holy racket that makes Goodfellas look pious. Read the roast 👉 www.virginmonkboy.com/p/la-luz-del...

Everyone says “don’t question God.” But the whole book of Job is one long argument. Silence is holy, but so is shouting at the sky. Blessed be the ones who file complaints with heaven.

Veterans signed up for service, not for Zoom degrees in polyester robes. Georgia’s “House of Prayer” churches stole $23.5M in GI Bill benefits and called it seminary. Full roast: www.virginmonkboy.com/p/gi-bill-se...

Charlie Kirk’s Professor Watchlist wasn’t about “free speech.” It was about fear. Professors were doxxed, harassed, even assaulted and now America is rewriting the story. www.virginmonkboy.com/p/the-watchl... #AcademicFreedom #ProfessorWatchlist #CharlieKirk #FreeSpeech #PoliticalViolence #HigherEd

Just dropped: The Apostles’ Influencer Retreat 🏝️ Peter’s selling Rock Solid Coaching™ Paul’s got a podcast deal Magdalene’s shadowbanned Thomas is trolling the comments Blessed be the algorithm. 👉 www.virginmonkboy.com/p/the-apostl...

Even the saints started as copycats. The trick is knowing when to drop the costume and live the truth. Read: Jesus and the Pretenders 👉 www.virginmonkboy.com/p/jesus-and-... #VirginMonkBoy #Jesus #Satire #Spirituality #Humor

The Rapture goes pay-per-view. $9.99 lifts your feet. $777 gets you backstage with archangels. Holy absurdity deserves holy satire. 👉 www.virginmonkboy.com/p/the-raptur... #Rapture #Satire #ChristianNationalism #ReligiousHumor #VirginMonkBoy

The Rapture isn’t coming with trumpets. It’s coming with tiered subscription plans, cloud seating charts, and angel selfies behind a paywall. My latest scroll: The Rapture Livestream Fiasco 👇 www.virginmonkboy.com/p/the-raptur...

Everyone thinks sin is breaking rules. It isn’t. It’s forgetting you’re divine. Mary remembered—and that’s why they erased her. Sin is amnesia, not misbehavior. Holiness is memory, not morality. The gospel was always about remembering. Blessed be the ones who wake up radiant.

Everyone knows churches love to preach obedience. But obedience is just fear in a choir robe. Mystics whispered: God wanted lovers, not soldiers. Discipline without desire is slavery. Faith without freedom is propaganda. Love refuses to kneel to control.

The soul doesn’t want polished theology. It wants to know it’s seen in its raw ache. Psalm 17 isn’t a performance—it’s a cry that dares to believe heaven is listening. Read here: www.virginmonkboy.com/p/psalm-17-t... #Psalms #ContemplativePrayer #ChristianMysticism #MaryMagdalene #VirginMonkBoy

Who can dwell with the Holy? Psalm 15 isn’t a purity test—it’s a reminder that integrity means becoming a safe place for Love to rest. Virgin Monk Boy retransmits: www.virginmonkboy.com/p/psalm-15-w...

The early church wasn’t just councils and creeds. It was the Heresy Hunt Olympics—bishops in track suits, burning scroll relays, and synchronized anathemas. 🏛️🔥 Read the full lampoon here: www.virginmonkboy.com/p/the-heresy...

The fool isn’t the atheist. It’s the one who forgets the sacred in others. Psalm 14, retransmitted by Virgin Monk Boy: www.virginmonkboy.com/p/psalm-14-t... A lament. A mirror. A prayer to remember.

When the ground splits and power boasts, Psalm 11 says refuge isn’t escape—it’s standing in Love among the ruins. Read here 👉 www.virginmonkboy.com/p/psalm-11-w... #Psalm11 #SacredProtest #FaithAndJustice #VirginMonkBoy #SpiritualResistance

The Gospel of the Beloved Companion names what empire buried: Mary Magdalene as the true heir of Jesus’ teaching. Not mascot. Not prostitute. The disciple who actually got it. Read here: www.virginmonkboy.com/p/gospel-of-...

Psalm 10 is sacred protest. It names injustice, drags God into the street, and turns grief into prayer. 👉 www.virginmonkboy.com/p/psalm-10-w... #Psalms #SacredProtest #Faith #Deconstruction #VirginMonkBoy

🕊️ You remember the forgotten. You do not abandon the broken. A psalm for anyone who has felt erased and still longs to be seen. Read the full piece on Substack: virginmonkboy.substack.com/p/psalm-9-yo... #VirginMonkBoy #PsalmsForTheUnraveling #Spirituality #Healing #Contemplation

Psalm 8 isn’t about feeling small. It’s about realizing the stars, the grass, the newborn’s cry—all of it—reminds us we belong. ✨ New scroll just dropped: Who Are We That You Remember Us? www.virginmonkboy.com/p/psalm-8-wh...

Psalm 6 is for the sleepless and the soul-tired. Not polished. Not polite. Just groaning made holy. I rewrote it for the ones who can’t fake “I’m fine.” 🔗 www.virginmonkboy.com/p/psalm-6-i-... #VirginMonkBoy #PsalmsRewritten #Deconstruction #Exvangelical #MysticTwitter #SpiritualRebellion

🤼‍♀️ What happens when Jesus, Buddha, Mary Magdalene & Virgin Monk Boy show up at WWE RAW? Kayfabe meets the Kingdom. Folding chairs become parables. Mary cuts the promo that heals your mother wound. Sacred satire, holy suplexes👇 virginmonkboy.substack.com/p/when-jesus...

It’s Friday. Some hours are for pacing yourself to the finish line. If your only miracle this morning is keeping a little light for yourself, it counts. —Virgin Monk Boy 🌅 #VirginMonkBoy #SacredPause #HolyPacing

Not everything needs to be understood. Some hours are for resting in the mystery. If your only miracle tonight is letting go without demanding closure, it counts. —Virgin Monk Boy 🌆 #VirginMonkBoy #SacredPause #HolyDusk

Not everything needs to be wrapped up before nightfall. Some hours are for setting the pen down mid-sentence. If your only miracle today is keeping what’s left of you for yourself, it counts. —Virgin Monk Boy 🌇 #VirginMonkBoy #SacredPause #HolyBoundaries

The first Jesus movement wasn’t a boys’ club. It was women preaching, leading, funding, and shaping the whole thing—until the empire rewrote the guest list. Read: The Early Christ Movement Was a Feminist Movement www.virginmonkboy.com/p/the-early-...

Not everything needs to be processed. Some hours are for placing it all in softer hands. If your only miracle today is turning off the noise, it counts. There’s no shame in shutting down. Only softness. —Virgin Monk Boy 🌙 #VirginMonkBoy #ComplineHour #ThursdayMercy #SacredRest #HolyUnraveling

Not everything needs to be pushed through. Some hours are for stepping back before the spiral. If your only miracle today is not forcing what won’t flow, it counts. There’s no shame in ebbing. Only softness. —Virgin Monk Boy 🌇 #VirginMonkBoy #NoneHour #ThursdayMercy #SacredFade #HolyRest

Not everything needs to be finished today. Some hours are for recalibrating. If your only miracle today is protecting your bandwidth, it counts. There’s no shame in recalibration. Only softness. —Virgin Monk Boy 🌞 #VirginMonkBoy #SextHour #ThursdayMercy #SacredPause #HolyRest

They told you to stop feeling guilty and just “let it go.” But what if remorse isn’t the problem? What if it’s the portal? Virgin Monk Boy breaks it open: www.virginmonkboy.com/p/remorse-is...

Not everything needs to be a comeback. Some mornings are for staying steady. If your only miracle today is not pretending to be fine, it counts. There’s no shame in gentle progress. Only softness. —Virgin Monk Boy 🌅 #VirginMonkBoy #PrimeHour #ThursdayMercy #SacredStart #HolyRest

Not everything needs to be reflected on. Some hours are for exhaling without judgment. If your only miracle today is skipping the postmortem, it counts. There’s no shame in fatigue. Only softness. —Virgin Monk Boy 🌆 #VirginMonkBoy #VespersHour #WednesdayMercy #SacredPause #HolyRest

Not everything needs to be locked in. Some hours are for loosening the grip. If your only miracle today is choosing quiet over chaos, it counts. There’s no shame in drifting. Only softness. —Virgin Monk Boy 🌞 #VirginMonkBoy #SextHour #WednesdayMercy #SacredPause #HolyRest

Just dropped: The Bar at the Edge of Belief — where Mr. Rogers, Gandalf, and Richard Rohr walk into a cosmic punchline and find Virgin Monk Boy bartending. Yes, it's heresy. Yes, it's holy. Bring your doubt. Leave your shoes. 👉 www.virginmonkboy.com/p/the-bar-at...

Not everything needs to feel inspired. Some mornings are for surviving the middle. If your only miracle today is not ghosting your responsibilities, it counts. There’s no shame in midweek muddling. Only softness. —Virgin Monk Boy 🌅 #VirginMonkBoy #PrimeHour #WednesdayMercy #SacredStart #HolyRest

Not everything needs to be optimized. Some mornings are for simply showing up. If your only miracle today is brushing your hair and meaning it, it counts. There’s no shame in slowness. Only softness. —Virgin Monk Boy 🌅 #VirginMonkBoy #PrimeHour #TuesdayMercy #SacredStart #HolyRest

Not everything needs to be resolved. Some hours are for releasing the grip. If your only miracle today is letting it go without overthinking, it counts. There’s no shame in the fade. Only softness. —Virgin Monk Boy 🌆 #VirginMonkBoy #VespersHour #MondayMercy #SacredPause #HolyRest

Not everything needs to be handled. Some hours are for handing it over. If your only miracle today is turning off notifications, it counts. There’s no shame in stopping. Only softness. —Virgin Monk Boy 🌞 #VirginMonkBoy #SextHour #MondayMercy #SacredPause #HolyRest

Not everything needs to be seized. Some mornings are for surviving gently. If your only miracle today is putting on pants, it counts. There’s no shame in starting slow. Only softness. —Virgin Monk Boy 🌅 #VirginMonkBoy #PrimeHour #MondayMercy #SacredStart #HolyRest

Not everything needs to be productive. Some hours are for drifting with grace. If your only miracle today is letting the dishes wait, it counts. There’s no shame in stillness. Only softness. —Virgin Monk Boy 🌞 #VirginMonkBoy #SextHour #SaturdayMercy #SacredPause #HolyRest

Not everything needs to begin with a bang. Some mornings are for blooming slowly. If your only miracle today is making coffee without multitasking, it counts. There’s no shame in taking your time. Only softness. —Virgin Monk Boy 🌅 #VirginMonkBoy #PrimeHour #SaturdayMercy #SacredStart #HolyRest

Jesus, Buddha, and Rumi walk into a co-working space and get shadowbanned. Turns out, detaching from greed violates community guidelines. 🧘‍♂️📵☕ Read the satirical parable they don’t want you to see: www.virginmonkboy.com/p/jesus-budd... #SpiritualSatire #FlaggedForTruth #MysticResistance

Not everything needs to be a strong finish. Some mornings are for limping toward the line. If your only miracle today is not quitting, it counts. There’s no shame in slow motion. Only softness. —Virgin Monk Boy 🌅 #VirginMonkBoy #PrimeHour #FridayMercy #SacredStart #HolyRest

Not everything needs to be polished. Some mornings are for showing up as-is. If your only miracle today is getting out of bed without lying about how you feel, it counts. There’s no shame in honesty. Only softness. —Virgin Monk Boy 🌅 #VirginMonkBoy #PrimeHour #ThursdayMercy #SacredStart #HolyRest

Mary Magdalene didn’t just get it—she embodied it. She wore the Wedding Garment of Conscious Love while the bros argued about power. This isn’t poetry. It’s a path. 🔥 Read the teaching they buried: www.virginmonkboy.com/p/how-mary-m...

You don’t have to feel motivated. You made it to the morning. That’s enough. If your only miracle today is brushing your teeth, it counts. There’s no shame in low energy. Only softness. —Virgin Monk Boy 🌅 #VirginMonkBoy #PrimeHour #WednesdayMercy #SacredStart #HolyRest