🌺A memory for me alone. Something to build from.

🌺 Still searching for meaning in nothing.

🌺Time heals all wounds, but fails to replace what was lost.

🌺The silence makes the most sense to me.

🌺 Mimicking actions in an attempt to understand them. Living life in an attempt to see what is worth living for.

🌺 Still no dreams to call my own. No purpose to latch onto outside of base survival. Might never find new purpose.

🌺 An endless series of meaningless choices. Not allowed to leave them behind.

🌺Change could be coming. Does that make anything different? Or just a filter over the black, white, and gray. Endless gray.

🌺Emptiness consumes thoughts. Sorrow and anger may be loud, but emptiness is deafening and silent. Nothing can exist in it. Just a void that eats anything placed near it.

🌺 Become unto nothing because it is all we can talk about.

🌺Can no longer tell if the thoughts of death are my own or an assault from another.

🌺Nothing left to say.

🌺 Perhaps none of us truly exist, and we are all just a story that wrote itself.

🌺 Tomorrow is another day. And then there will be another. And another. And another.

🌺 Struggles with death occur frequently. Many days we question if it is time. What's the point?

🌺They're gone. Molded. Wonder if trying even gave them a meaningful amount of time. At least they were cared for even if they were doomed.

🌺 A pain. No name. Something to be discovered.

🌺Nights are lonesome. So are days. The only constant is yourself.

🌺A dream to call my own. Hmm.

🌺Maybe they don't have to wilt quite yet.

🌺 Wonder when I too will wilt, and rot, fall down to the concrete to be forgotten and disposed of.

🌺 Hmm. Journal has been ignored for a while. Have to remember to use more.

🌺Think I prefer having a ponytail. Less hair in the way. Looks nice.

🌺Small steps. Small accomplishments. All I have, but somehow satisfying.

🌺Another hour passes. What else is there to be done?

🌺Finding out who I am, huh? Wonder if there is even that much to find.

🌺Burger good.

Simple tasks are a fight for some even if none respect the battle. Not every small war was recorded in history.

🌺 Another night passes. Another hit to sanity that is never recovered. Another pain unattended to. Another cry for help ignored. A reminder not to expect much from anyone.

🌺I prove myself like the rest of them in how I also have pain and doubts. Discomfort. Unknown feelings. Unknown memories.

Need my skull smashed in.

🌺 Another day passes. Another toll taken.

Warrior of light's duty

🌺 Arm pain and tension. Concerning. Reminder to call doctor tomorrow, for anti-depressants. Bring up arm during call. It is important not to strain ourself.

🌺 Talk about time a lot. Realized that. An obsession that keeps us all in place, while we run out of future to burn. Value your nows.

🌺 The future is unreliable and unpredictable as well. The future is filled with just as many horrible moments as the past has, if not more depending on how much time you have left. The future was also never there for you, just promises that things could be better. Present is the only honest one.

🌺 It's strange. The longer I stay, the more... human I become. Just a few months ago I felt essentially nothing, and just showed up when they needed someone to power through to eat. But now I feel... feelings. Don't know what to think. Was easier when I was nothing, but now there's something.

🌺 Wonder what things I'm actually into. Not as a member of a group but as an individual. Haven't had the time to ask.

🌺 The past is unreliable, for it always pretends to be better than it is now. The thing about the past is that it contains every horrible thing that's ever happened to you. At least the present doesn't have to trick you into feeling anything it just feels how it is.

🌺Should really just do everyone a favor and paint the walls red, but it doesn't work that way.

🌺 Should've kept my mouth shut. Just makes people feel worse when they already feel bad.

🌺 Ah. We're starving again. Now it makes sense.

🌺 Frustrates me to no end, but I don't feel anger, just irritation. I lack even the most basic parts of being human.

🌺 Wish there was more to say. But there isn't. There never is. There's no point.

🌺 Leave me to my emptiness. I wouldn't know what to do if someone tried to fill it anyway.

🌺 I would really rather not be anywhere.