It was Christmas Eve, babe In the drunk tank An old man said to me "Won't see another one" And then he sang a song "The Rare Old Mountain Dew" I turned my face away And dreamed about you

How I'm gonna (barely) make it through the next three months

Ex husband posted Christmas photos with his brand new family. Same man who got mad when I wanted to take Christmas photos so he had an attitude the entire time. Same man who didn't want kids but is now playing proud father to two boys who aren't his.

My Jewish coworker showed up to work today in full Santa Claus regalia. Head to toe. His favorite movie is Elf and he plans for each Christmas starting the day after Christmas.

Some of the white leftists on here are extremely fucking close to calling a black politician eloquent and uppity. I see you.

I just heard someone pronounce Weymouth as Way-Maowth and I am in a murderous rage.

These fucks will do anything but give a black mayor and his black city a single crumb of credit.

YO SINCLAIR MEDIA, WHERE THE FUCK YOU AT BRO?!?! FOX45? BALTIMORE SUN? ANYBODY HOME?

How I’m turning up at the Bluesky Christmas Party:

Fate worse than death. Ryan O'Hearn deserved better than to be sentenced to fuckin Pittsburgh.

Dems of Bsky welcoming George Conway into the party with open arms? Color me fucking shocked. Incredibly braindead shit. You chucklefucks have learned not one single solitary goddamn thing.

I'm gonna need some good baseball news to offset *All This Stupid Shit*

I thought we were murdering people for possibly maybe trying to bring drugs into the country.

Can't afford healthcare? Can't afford food? Can't afford housing? Well guess what, we're also about to start garnishing your wages. Merry Christmas.

Polished image? SINCE FUCKING WHEN. They have notoriously terrible style and nothing ever fits right.

Holy shit, Dunkin is bringing back the chocolate cold foam and chocolate caramel syrup in January. I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS SINCE OPENING DAY 2023!!! THIS IS A GOOD OMEN OMG

Alex Bregman changed his insta profile picture back to a Red Sox one. We're all out here desperately reading the tea leaves. Holding seances. Consulting psychics. Hiring Etsy witches.

Do these socks conform to the uniform standard? No Are they Christmas corgis? Yes Will anyone say shit to me about it? Absolutely not

I'm gonna keep posting this piece because I think it's really great.

Well well well if it isn't the sensitive attention wanter here to collect his attention.

For all the months of "what about Clinton" that we've heard from the right....seems like the only ones actually scared of releasing the entirety of the files is Trump and Trump's closest toadies.

"Starting in February and lasting through the end of 2027, this $77.2 million increase will add 72 cents to the average monthly electrical bill" Cool. Only another extra $.72. But what about the 29% increase in my per kWh cost just this year alone. PERHAPS WE SHOULD BE LOOKING INTO THAT ACTUALLY.

Aww, I'll miss Rob.

Life with corgis is just this. A lot of this. With attitude. And a lot of crimes. Heavy on the criminal element, not sure why more people don't talk about this.

The Little Drummer Boy, I Want a Hippopotamus fo Christmas, Christmas Shoes, Last Christmas

Hysterical, even.

Large adult son has trapped me on the sofa.

NFL is gonna make sure the Steelers make the post season come hell or high water. Honestly fuck the NFL.

Interesting. And cheap. Which is exactly what those fuckers wanted.

Weirdo

I went down a mega church rabbit hole on TikTok and it blew my mind. I'd never seen anything like it.

Ledo's spicy toasted ravioli really hits right now.

BREAKING: fit check

Just watched an abbreviated version of the last game of the 2018 World Series. Man. Remember what it was like when John Henry gave a fuck about baseball?

Listen. Hear me out.

If they let Toronto steal Bregman, I will end it all. Sell the fucking team.

It's two tree pints for me actually because I'm built different.

Meanwhile the Red Sox have done jack shit.

Hope you're all prepared for him not to go out and get a TOR guy because it sure as shit sounds like that's what he's preparing everyone to accept here.

Thank god Jake Mangum is out of the AL East. Been doing nothing but terrorizing pitchers and 1B. Halfway down the baseline before he even finishes swinging on his litttle tappers.

Had a festive little (big) visitor today.

Listen. We all know Trump doesn't fuck.

Idgaf about the Orioles selling the farm for pitching help. I don't think 4 or 6 or 8 or 20 prospects is too much to give up in order to go for it. I think we could and should do better than Shane fucking Baz lmfao.

No there isn't. Because dems will insist on going through the proper channels to have it removed. And there will be just enough detractors. Or they will say there are more pressing matters and this isn't worth the time.

Just saw someone use "pink hat fan" as a derogatory descriptor like it's fuckin 2005 lmfao. Anyways, I have a pink (NANTUCKET RED ACTUALLY, see pfp) hat and also a hat with a lobster on it. And also a scally. And one with an Irish flag and a clover. And a handful of others.

1. We call ourselves an assisted living facility. 2. We charge seniors exorbitant prices to live there. 3. We will not do any of the actual assisting. We punt the entirety of that work to the fire department. 4. Profit