Someone should tell my car insurance company that Chump says insurance costs are going down.

Way to go, Indiana. Fucking losers.

If you’re wondering how many times a company will let you pay the same bill, the answer is as many times as you choose to pay it. Looking at you, Little Clinic.

Jared Polis is part of the Dialog Society? What the fuck, guv?

The fake news has been right about nearly everything with this fascist administration, so why would social security be any different?

Washington DC water is chloraminated. It’s a fancy way of saying “food” in algal language.

Spencer Pratt can be the mayor of San Recto.

We should all vaccinate our children against the Bible.

Virtually signing a document establishing a 60 day exploration of demands is not a peace deal.

Remove the tarp, pussy.

The president was taught at an early age that if you have uncomfortable feelings, just put up some plastic.

Fetterman saying Platner isn’t a Democrat is like a 100 year old dementia patient yelling that his doctor can’t drive.

Sounding more and more like Pakistan is an American puppet.

Azaria should stick to voice acting.

I want you to look at this picture and ask yourself “when was the last time I was remotely close to this happy?” It’s infuriating.

The World Cup is just another opportunity for the rich nations to give the poor nations a false sense of hope.

Fuck insurance. Free Luigi.

Today, as Ken, my 9 year old son beat me, as Guile, at Street Fighter 2. Well played.

You know you’re an a$$hole when over 800 livestreams exist to view your name removed from something, but only four were there to watch when it was added.

There’s apparently a group named Women for America First. Someone should tell them they’re obsolete in their own vision.

There is approximately $2.47T in circulation. Actual currency. “We” will soon mint “our” first trillionaire. That’s over 40% of ALL of our cash. Think about that.

A co-worker tried to argue that we shouldn’t be given access to buy Chinese EVs because their government forces their car companies to sell at a loss hoping to destroy overseas car companies. My response: but $9 peanut butter is okay? Besides, we’d just bail out our car companies again.

I think drones count as part of an Air Force. I imagine the Apache pilots would agree.

Released 40 years ago today. Still the greatest day off.

If he loves inflation so much he can have mine.

Are we bombing Iran extra hard today because of Bill Gates?

$240B to “protect” the United States. Homeland security, they call it. You know what would give the homeland some security? Not having a senile leader. Being able to afford basic groceries. Being able to go to the doctor when sick. That would be security. Put the money THERE. Stop paying pigs.

I didn’t even realize the most decorated female gymnast of all time was married to a lowly nfl player.

White people should only count as 3/5 of a person.

Scott Bottoms is a cuck. Hard pass.

Scott Bottoms talks in circles and about things that don’t exist. What exactly is an illegal immigrant fund? Reproductive healthcare is not JUST abortion.

Manny Rutinel looks smug. I don’t vote for smug.

Dolan: we have a great plan for you to not get booed. Orange: zzzzz wh-what? Dolan: a plan, sir, to minimize the boos. We’ll put you on the big screen during the national anthem. You outlawed kneeling during it; no one will boo. Orange: but I don’t know the words.

Wrong again.

“So diabolical it’s impossible to prove.” Speaker Johnson on whether he has a spine or not.

He’s not going to show up at Madison Square Garden.

“You’re either crooked or you’re stupid.” Unless you’re president [redacted], then you’re both.

Heaps of evidence. There’s never been more evidence. All I have to do is listen.

It’s troubling: During our video game training, we learn to occupy places like Delaney Hall. In real life, however, the gun guys eat donuts and storm the position of peace frogs.

I’ve read so much about President [redacted] going to game 3. Either it’s another fake attempt on his life OR there will be a huge wager on a betting site that he WON’T show just before tip-off.

You remember those word association tests from grade school? I have one: Russia ——-> Ukraine ________ ———> Iran

It’s really a shame that all those people died 82 years ago so that 7 people could get rich.

Giving in isn’t an option, sure. But what happens when we run out of food, clean water, rent money, and medicine? What happens when we’re desperate, depressed, and despondent? Do you really think pressing a button in November will make all that go away?

Who fucking cares if China bought the best chip ever? People are starving and dying and fascism rolls on whether they buy chips or not.

Voting for someone else because you’re sure the person you really want to win is going to win isn’t democracy. It’s gambling. It’s no wonder this country is screwed.

It’s been loss after loss after loss after loss, but go ahead and tell me how our electronically counted vote in November is going to matter.

I see all this talk about the Bears moving to god awful Indiana and I just wonder if anyone has bothered to ask Ditka if he’s okay with that?

I don’t care who Kevin Durant slept with last night, and from the looks of it he is okay with that.

Rooney eats it.

Droopy McDrooperson at it again in the White House today.