Haven't eaten + angrily smoking a ton of weed = *is in a slow-motion haze of tingly smiles* 😍

The person who most deserves to be shot in the face 4, 5, 97 times is the child rapist pulling the strings. Until that happens there will be no justice, peace, or safety for any of us. Evil can't be reasoned with. It must be destroyed.

💜

Is fake gay baby jesus real? Are God and Bill Cosby more alike than different? Take 4 minutes out of your busy "pissing away your life" schedule to hear the TRUE gospel of the season according to Satan Claws. youtu.be/G4ChPeO1z00?...

Finish editing and posting videos that I'm proud of but no one has the slightest bit of interest in? Check. ✅ Clog toilet to surface tension with My demonic Godzilla shit? Check. ✅ What other enchantment awaits? I can hardly wait to find out! 💫

The Christmas Tree Wars By Ken Burns youtu.be/nxlUphv5Mos

Ho ho ho hatred! Sarge reviews his most-hated seasonal songs with all the grace and sensitivity of a stomach flu. youtu.be/_1Eo5XT0GAw

"Nestor: The Long-Abused Ass" Give it a watch for ol' Sarge! Support the arts, have a laugh, share, enjoy, write hate mail, abandon your faith... 😈 youtu.be/9AGtmu-Ptvs

"If I use soy sauce as lube, will that affect my sodium intake?" #DoctorQuestions

To the fuck-chops who were detonating ground/house-shaking explosives until 12:20am when we have people in our house with PTSD and who have to work on new year's day... ...I hope you blew your kids' arms off and died in a car fire.

"Happy New Year! Now here's a list of all the people who died in 2025!" I don't think you know how "happy" works.

I can't do group chats. Maybe it's My AuDHD & introversion, or maybe it's because I come from an upbringing where you acknowledge someone communicating to you, be they stranger or friend. It takes a LOT for Me to reach out. When it's ignored, but other posts are not, it's a kick in the balls.

Not to be a Dobie Downer, but... fuck your meaningless calendar-flipping horseshit. You can have a party and get pissed any day of the year. You're an adult. The only balls I'm interested in dropping are Mine on your chin. 😈 Stay off the roads. Be safe. 💜

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🥲💜

In a world of shit there are still golden nuggets of hope. 💜

"My weekend is ruined because I didn't get to go skiing!" ...is the whitest problem I've heard all day. 😋

My beloved Pack of mates/partners make every day joyous & beautiful. Sinsmas & My birthday were no exception. Being together, talking, laughing, cuddling, exchanging gifts, etc are all perfect moments when you're with the people you love. Thank you, Pack. You have My eternal Love & Devotion. 💜💙💚🧡

👇🏽💯 A tiny act of kindness is better than none at all. It can mean more to a person living a life of quiet desperation than you'll ever know. 💜

Today the ancient Hellhound King is another eon older. Lavish Me in food, pleasure, gifts, & shameless worship! I've survived 57 years in this bloated whale carcass of a body & dollar store brain. Surely that's worth SOMETHING?! Or... just scroll passed to that pic of Krampus fisting Tiny Tim. 😳

'May the gaping asshole of Christmas surround you in God's love.' --Pope John Paul George

If you're not real, how can I feel this way... ...little babies? (I consider the nativity more of a play set than a religious depiction. 😈) #Blasphemy

It's 4am. I'm laying under the tree listening to an owl hoot just outside the window. I can't help but smile. Nature is magic. That pup-like sense of wonder is still alive within Me (along with that group of carolers I ate). 😊 Sending love to you & yours, as well as they & thems. 💜

Fat ol' Satan Claws knows if you've been good or bad... ...and really doesn't give a fuck one way or the other. I'm cumming down your chimney. 😈 (Whatever you celebrate, believe, or don't or whatever, may it be peaceful, joyous, and delicious. 💜)

Turns out the people hired by an intellectually barren child rapist aren't much smarter than their puffy, stroke-faced El Pedodente. Is it a surprise to anyone that he abused children? No. But seeing his best laid plans to cover it up IMMEDIATELY & EMBARRASSINGLY fail is a joyous holiday gift! 😁

My chronic spine pain is on "11" for the holidays. The slightest movement makes Me scream & struggle not to puke &/or fall. Also, got a text chain from My family planning a big gathering, which stirred the anxiety, trauma, dread, & guilt I thought I was over. Spiraling into darkness. Ho ho horror...

I'm bad at the things I like to do. The things I think I'm half-decent at. My best sucks. It's depressing.

"Satan Claws' Stillborn Nativity Dance Party" is happening NOW! (Friday Dec 19 @ 5pm est) It's all LIVE on Devil Dog Radio! Tune-in & party w/ us sinners to oddly festive music, biblical blasphemy, & Satanic Santa coming down your chimney! It's all happening NOW! HERE! www.twitch.tv/devildogradio

Fat ol' Satan Claws is hosting a LIVE broadcast for the beasts of the Hellscape tomorrow at 5pm est (Friday Dec 19)! Here on Twitch: www.twitch.tv/devildogradio Tune in for oddly festive music, blasphemous comedy, & the warm, sticky embrace of kinky kith. Pop it on while you game &/or masturbate! 😈

Photography exercise. Try to find something interesting in the most mundane places. In this case, sitting in a car in a Family Dollar parking lot. Forgot how much I enjoy that headspace. Gotta break out My SLR and do some real shit soon.

Satan Claws will be hosting "Frosty's Stillborn Nativity Parade" LIVE this Friday on Devil Dog Radio! (Dec 19 @ 5pm est) 'Tis the season for oddly festive music, biblical blasphemy, & Satanic Santa to cum down your chimney! Tune in and hang with us sinners! 😈 www.twitch.tv/devildogradio

The Devil Dog Lair, downtown Hell. The classiest Sinsmas decorations on the block. 😈 Warm glowing lights, animal ornaments, and terrorizing miniature villages make Me happy. 🥰 Seasons Eatings! 🔥Satan Claws🔥

We have a fully functional dishwasher. But sometimes I wash the dishes and utensils by hand. It makes me feel heroically Amish for some reason.

Was putting toothpaste on My toothbrush (not the hairbrush, unless I'm off-the-rails manic & want to feel pretty). How in the name of the immaculate erection does caustic mint-flavored fluoride splash into My eye?! It burns like chlamydia! But at least My eyes won't have gingivitis, so...win/win. 👍🏽

Attention Furries! While watching classic cars on the old Nürburgring, looky what I found! 🎉😜 youtu.be/VtYD7f8KqxE?...

In reference to the last post... I'm gay and almost 60. I do not want children, nor can I have them. I mean, I could kidnap a few, but I don't really want to see, hear, feed, or interact with them in any way. Passing on My psychosis to them sounds fun, but it's just not enough to take the plunge. 😋

Well, it's official. I can't have children.

👇🏽💜

You like tales, tails, podcasts, fat Bears/Hellhounds, dark humor, & supporting the kinky arts? If you said yes or no to any of those, please checkout the highlights from Devil Dog Radio's live Halloween show! It's so packed with entertainment it needs a warm douche! 😈 youtu.be/XitUnHhlazA?...

Sure I pissed off all the ruptured discs in My spine & can't walk or move at the moment, but... The magical land of Sinsmas is alive at the Hellhound King's Castle! Behold the miniature village, complete w/ living, enslaved sprites! We've removed "Christ" from Christmas, & it's SO much better! 😈

👇🏽 See?! Even the fucking bird gets it!

I hate to be "that guy", but, our neighbors are slobs. They have garbage all over their yard. We, on the other hand, take pride in our home & keep it clean. For a month they've let their garbage cans overflow & the wind carries garbage into our yard. I just bagged it all & put it back in their yard.

Truth MUST survive. Resist. ✊🏽 youtu.be/bplGasnpq-M?...

My Thanksgiving. True story. A very drunk/stoned 90lb awesomely-fun late-20's woman pounced & cuddled fat old Me on the sofa. Her: "I love cuddling you! I don't know why?!" Me: "Because I'm gay & not a threat?" Her: "You're gay! That's my favorite thing about you!" Me: 🤣

💜

I know I'm not a very good friend most of the time. My damaged brain and body can leave me unable to know what to say or do. I isolate too much. But I never stop loving you. I never stop wanting and cherishing your presence in my life. 💜

You’ve been kidnapped. The characters from the last TV show you watched are trying to rescue you. Who’s coming to save you? More music, Les Nessman!

Shit. I got really high, went on a binge, and ate a lot of the cookies I was supposed to bring to Thanksgiving tomorrow. *puts some slices of bread in the container to fill the spaces* This is fine. This'll be fine.

If you're headed home for the holiday to spend time with family, please remember... ...bring a LOT of booze and drugs to help you get through it! These are the people who gave you PTSD! Do NOT raw-dog this! 😳 #VicodinStuffing

Devil Dog Radio’s “Return of the Hallowed Ween” Highlights are hot off the pressed, sweaty ass cheeks of the Hellhound Himself! Watch/Listen, share with friends, fall asleep to it on the toilet… The only limit to the imagined enjoyment is YOU! 🖤 youtu.be/XitUnHhlazA?...