this feels relevant again

depression has been hitting me hard these last 3 days. I wish there was some kind of way to just feel better, but not even distracting myself or game dev is working.

this feels really stupid to say, but Pac-Man World 2 Re-PAC coming out has been giving me the energy to keep going. It's stupid that a video game releasing soon of all things is what's keeping me going, but it is.

I really want to be able to do more things for myself, but every time I think about it, I just feel like I'm being selfish or it would cause my loved ones and/or in person friends to hate me.

I'm starting to realize that I subconsciously avoid people if I feel I'm getting too attached to them. I kinda wish I knew how to break that.

really haven't been in a good mindset lately. Been having a lot of struggles trying to fall asleep, and overall not really feeling too positive about much outside of game dev. But at the same thing, it's the main thing distracting me from everything.

I'm starting to realize that it hurts me when people tell me or show that they care about me. I don't even know why, it just does. does anyone know why that could be?

Sometimes I feel like I'm in that episode of The Fairly Odd Parents where Timmy wishes himself away, only to find out that everyone is happier without him. The only difference is that I wouldn't wish myself back because I'd rather others be as happy as they can be.

//Graphic imagery - Implied self harm . . Heavy vent doodle

changed my handle to make this account harder to find lol

Heard it was Star-Whores day or something.

//Graphic imagery . . Little vent doodle.

I doodled Felicia because I think she's cool! (unfortunately, I have never played the game she's from 😭[I should really change that one day.])

Meow

//Blood warning Can you blame her? (Silly doodle I did in a VC)

I do want to specify that this account is probably mainly going to be used for more mature topics and supporting / following friends who do more adult stuff. I'm probably not going to post suggestive material that I make often because it's not something I particularly do a lot.

Probably going to keep certain character artwork to this account now. While this character isn't really too bad, I still feel like she's a bit too suggestive for my main. (or at least some of the posing ideas I had and are planning to make, and her fur color giving off the illusion of skin.)

When I played Atlyss with friends, I found out about the "taunt" and thought it was a really funny command (It basically became my greeting in that friend group in the game, lol). of course I had to make a render of that. #Blender3D #Atlyss

I'm a tiny bit nervous to post lol, but this is my account for more adult related things. I know it's probably unlike me to have an account like this, but I feel like this is a good account to have on the side incase I want to post not so family friendly things. Thank you for reading!