Dad Jokes
@dadjoke.bsky.social
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No politics. Only The Best Dad Jokes!
The right is melting down over a fake Fox story that the Biden Administration is going to limit alcohol to two beers a week. Wait till I tell them itās gotta be just two Bud Lights. It must be painful to be this stupid.
over 2 years ago
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#joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
over 2 years ago
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āYour underwear is much too tight and very revealing,ā I said to my wife. She said, āWear your own then.ā :) #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
over 2 years ago
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Ha ha #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
over 2 years ago
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Who's addicted and who's learning #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
over 2 years ago
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#joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny #meme
over 2 years ago
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I already was having a rough day, and then somebody went and ripped the front and back pages from my dictionary. It just goes from bad to worse. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
over 2 years ago
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#joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
over 2 years ago
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A chemist froze himself at -273.15 C, and everyone said he was crazy. It turned out he was 0K. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
over 2 years ago
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#joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
over 2 years ago
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Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That's just how I roll. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
over 2 years ago
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Thanks for explaining the word 'Plethora' to me. It means a lot. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
over 2 years ago
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What did the fish say when it swam into the wall š§±? Dam! #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
over 2 years ago
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#joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
over 2 years ago
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A Mobius strip walks into a bar looking pretty sad. Bartender asks what's wrong. Mobius strip: Where do I even start? (Please repost if you liked it!) #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
over 2 years ago
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What do you get when you mix human DNA with sheep DNA? Kicked out of the petting zoo. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
over 2 years ago
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What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
over 2 years ago
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My boss really hates it when I shorten his name to Dick⦠Mostly because his name is Steve⦠#joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
over 2 years ago
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#joke #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
over 2 years ago
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In Tokyo yesterday, I confused the words "jacuzzi" and "yakuza". Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia. #joke #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
over 2 years ago
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After dinner, my wife asked if I could clear the table. I needed a running start, but I did it by like 2 inches! #funny #joke #jokesĀ #dadjoke #dadjokes #humor
over 2 years ago
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Al Pacinoās brother, Cap, is famous for his coffee. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
over 2 years ago
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#joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
over 2 years ago
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Our electricity company has just disconnected us. Now we are powerless to do anything about it. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
over 2 years ago
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Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water? Because if they fell forwards, they'd still be in the boat. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
over 2 years ago
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Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? The food is great, but there's just no atmosphere! š #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
over 2 years ago
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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey." The horse says "Sure." š #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
over 2 years ago
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People can be so annoying. The other day someone was telling me I drink like a fish so I had to tuna them out. 𤣠#joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
over 2 years ago
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#joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
over 2 years ago
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Ha š #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
over 2 years ago
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A few decades ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please don't let Kevin Bacon die! #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
over 2 years ago
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Just been for my prostate exam. Got the thumbs up. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
over 2 years ago
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I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down! #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
over 2 years ago
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When will a priest laugh at your Friday joke? When itās a Good Friday joke! #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
over 2 years ago
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What do you call a row of rabbits walking backwards? A receding hairline! #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
over 2 years ago
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Met a really attractive sky diving instructor. I fell for him. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
over 2 years ago
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What do you call a sad latte? A depresso. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
over 2 years ago
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Jim sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
over 2 years ago
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What did the janitor shout when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies! #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
over 2 years ago
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I burned 2000 calories today. I left my cake in the oven for too long. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
over 2 years ago
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#joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
over 2 years ago
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A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a workstation⦠#joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
over 2 years ago
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What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes (ļ¼¾ā½ļ¼¾)
over 2 years ago
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I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
over 2 years ago
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To the person who stole my glasses, I will find you. I have contacts! #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
over 2 years ago
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What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bison. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
over 2 years ago
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If Bill Gates eats American food and Gandhi ate only Indian food, what food does Usain Bolt eat? If Bill Gates eats American food and Gandhi ate only Indian food, what food does Usain Bolt eat? Fast Food #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
over 2 years ago
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Iāve been doing crunches twice a day now. Captain in the morning. Nestle in the afternoon. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
over 2 years ago
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My wife rang me at the pub and said, āIf youāre not home in 10 minutes, Iām giving the dinner I cooked for you to the dog.ā I was home in 5 minutes. Iād hate for anything to happen to my dog. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
over 2 years ago
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You dig, I dig, he digs, she digs, we dig, they dig. It's not a easy poem coz it's deep. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
over 2 years ago
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