I must have some residual cbd gummy in me from last night because while in the shower I imagined Trump saying " put your hand on my head and call me Manica " and I've been giggling about for the past 20 minutes

I wonder if there is a conservative owner of a model train company who voted for RFK to cure autism

Did he who made the lamb make thee?

Pray for this dog y'all. Nothing wrong with him, he's just goofy looking af

Its going to be really sad how many autistic people are going to be excited to get on the trains to RFK's "treatment centers"

If she were Luiga Womangione they'd have already been tried and convicted

*hits blunt* I've never seen a trans person wear transition lenses

Yall why does this Starbucks have a cuck chair?

He was a Toyotathon boy, she was a Honda Savings Event girl. Can I make it any more obvious?

Bird flew? Uh yeah I sure hope it does !

So McDonalds can catch this guy even though he was wearing a disguise, but the Hamburglar has been free for the past 30 years? What kompromat does Hamburglar have on Mayor Mccheese?

Yeah I like Wicked. Taking a wicked dump after eating Thanksgiving leftovers for 4 days

Honestly the only good thing Biden has done as President is pardon Hunter after Thanksgiving, and not before

Guys be safe out there Turkey withdrawal is real and scary

Girls with a time machine "Grandma its me I love you and miss you" Boys with a time machine *beating John Knowles to death with a typewriter* "Fuck Phineas and fuck you, hack faud"

Just got genuinely bummed when I realized Ralph Ciffaretto will never get to see Gladiator 2

I heard a rumor that Mayor Mcheese had a mcrib removed so he could suck his own mcdock

Guys look at my dog

As a highly-regarded public intellectual I have just come to Bluesky and found it extremely closed-minded and unreceptive to important new ideas, including the one about what a highly-regarded public intellectual I am. Also nobody with girl names responded to my chats, which were also intellectual.

BREAKING NEWS : Trump names Josh Duggar as head of the department of "Making sure people don't jerk off to child porn in a shack"

I know lots if people left the old place to get away from spicy takes but I have to say this, consequences be damned . There's nothing all that crazy about crazy bread

Took too much benadryl and almost passed out giggling to myself because the name " Broccoli Rabe Zombie" popped into my head