My room is already set for halloween. It's dusty and covered in cobwebs

idk why anyone would follow me i'm neither funny nor interesting

needs to be a song specifically about friday imo

gm fellow weirdos and freakshows

the mona lisa is so da Vinci-coded

one battle after another? you mean my entire life?

the smashing machine? that's what they call me heh heh 😏 😎

the answer is yes, I'm ready for some football

it's october better start putting the christmas decorations up

the world has gone completely doolally. except for me, though, I'm the only sane one

tailor swift is the name of the store i go to get my trousers fitted

employee of the month at the sex factory once again

matching my freak and it's just being kind to me

I am normal and can be trusted not to eat your Lush bath bombs

got my new drivers licence

i disagree with adam ant, ridicule is kinda sorta something to be scared of

society went to shit when we abandoned the wii imo

i will just return to my desk and carry on like nothing happened

i have returned

wait so Walter White was also Heisenberg?

why dont we do it in the road Wednesday

i play with my wii on the odd occasion

ah, the holy trinity - columbo, murder she wrote, law & order

sex on fire kings of leon - sound of the summer

I'd compare thee to a summer's day but comparison is the thief of joy

made you look + made you stare + made you lose your underwear

I'm the firestarter, twisted firestarter some might say

but the boy who cried wolf was telling the truth!

can't put the pee back in the balls

french isn't that hard to learn you just put 'le' in front of everything

it's fw me friday and yet nobody does

toast so good i just had to propose to it

putting the disc into the wii as if i were feeding it a tasty treat

2 coffees in a row because i am a grown adult and i can do what i want!!

i love an episode of murder she wrote that's set in ireland yet it is clearly california

90s was crazy you'd have so many bangers in top 40 but no1 single would be teletubbies

I'll compare apples to oranges idc

she fw me, she fw me not

this nude will self destruct in 5 seconds

Shakespeare needs more snarky quips, Macbeth needs to be like, "sooo thateth just happened!"

sex isn't real "noo but what about porn!?" paid actors!

feeling a tad promiscuous (two hotdogs!)

tgif - teenage gutant iinja furtles

been playing the frasier game and can't get past the Maris boss

if i was invited to go to an island of dinosaurs absolutely i would go. the possibility of being eaten by a T-Rex would be so cool

i do my stretches before posting

sent a risky text - "hello"

My nose must be haunted the way it's full of boogers

Benjamin Button mfs be like "that was the old me"

too shy to tell the group i got bitten by a zombie