Is Fab 5 Freddy OK?

Cracked the box. I'm an 80s kid. #weekendsingles

Je suis Jimmy Kimmel.

Milquetoast Headline Generator sez: Jalen Carter Challenges Status Quo Concerning Role of Saliva in Competitive Sports. ... Great out-of-the-box look for a churlish league in a churlish era.

Designer towel _sage_? Pfft. Designer towel *saga* was better.

Sometimes, they're better without the anticipated text ...

They: When I say mayonnaise, I mean Miracle Whip. :::beat::: Me: When *the recipe* says mayonnaise, guess what *that* means?

I was shocked to learn about Chuck Mangione's passing ... as I'd been laboring under the misapprehension that it was an event I'd already missed years ago.

♬ On the stairs, I smoke a cigarette alone. Mexican kids are shooting fireworks below ♬ - Dave Alvin ("Fourth of July")

Dear composer, This is the future reaching out to you. We wanted you to know that we've decided YOUR composition makes for even more soul-sucking hold muzak than Vadim Chaimovich's rendition of Mozart's Sonata No. 3 In B Flat Major, K.281 II. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

That really old carton of Chinese carryout from The Naked Gun has endorsed Cuomo.

The last refuge of the fallacious cretin? They were ONLY JOKING. Yes. Of course. How dim of me not to notice at once?

Flashed ahead to this Christmas when images and footage will almost certainly surface of ICE thugs dissappearing Santa Clauses right off of American streets.

No Brian Wilson ... no Jesus And Mary Chain.

Not tryin' to sound like a bigshot or anything, but ... I had England all but entirely covered in cart paths by 3215 BC.

I just asked someone if they knew who James Woods was. :::gorgeous moment where it might've gone either way::: They said they thought he might've been a golfer. 🔥

It turns out that one of the best ways to make sure our future together evaporates in my imagination is to hand me the copy of Slaughterhouse Five you bought on my recommendation & say (with a shrug & a face one might reserve for a plate of uncooked calimari): "I read *most* of it. It was ... OK."

Does anyone suppose the surviving members of Zeppelin might have a case against LED Pickleball?

"Attendant" as an adjective, meaning accompanying or assisting *is* a real thing ... and I'm not merely reaching for 'attentive' and knocking the entire Rolodex into the crapper. Yay!

My budtender crush asked me today: "Has anyone ever told you before that you look a little like Steve Jobs? The millionaire?" No. They hadn't. They coulda told me I looked like Quasimodo. It still would've been a transcendent moment.

"Oh yeah? Well, I've also been doin' my own research, and ... " :::drumroll::: You cannot survive on a diet of Speculoos cookies.

"... And our records show you're earning $1,800.00 an hour. Is that still accurate?" Eighteen hundred dollars an hour.

If you see this, post your getaway vehicle.

Squirrel and G-Man Twenty Four Hour Party People Plastic Face Carnt Smile (Waltz Out)

It was the singing along with Mark E. Smith that finally set the neighborhood dogs off.

The Triplets of Belleville (2003) screens May 17th & 18th on a 35mm double bill with The Illusionist (2010). Tickets: buff.ly/MEDb5RD

To be ... or not to be? That Is The :::checks notes::: Tyler. Shough. 🤔

"Now ... if I *really* get racy? Pancake makeup. And a cheap, black, crepe dress that’s loooow-cut."

Easter grass? Don't mind if I do!

Timeline cleanse? Favre retires. Packers draft Maryland QB Brandon Miller ... who inexplicably falls to the end of the 2nd round. Aaron Rodgers languishes on the bench.

There's a green fellow haunting our hedges.

Has it been four years yet?

D'oge!

Hands Off was about 400-500 (+/-) people in our rainy, miserable, red state neck of the woods. At least one truckload of MAGAlodytes repeatedly driving past honking. It's a start.

Terry Gilliam's surreal sci-fi cult classic BRAZIL (1985) screens in 35mm next Friday, April 4th, at 2:00pm. Tickets: buff.ly/S2IBsg6

Is there a Pro Anti-Bono?

Greenland, if you could forcibly grab our VP and send him to a militarized gulag without any due process that would be superb. Thanks.

If you want to understand humanity, listen to the last minute or so of 'Monkey Man' by The Rolling Stones.