Be mindful of what’s in your front sweatshirt pocket. Case in point… that neatly discreetly folded panty liner in pink plastic? It’s not so discreet when it comes unwrapped and sticks to your handkerchief when you pull it out to wipe your nose in front of your new neighbors.

I already need a nap

Do you ever lie in bed in the quiet and think about the important people in your life? Sometimes, they are strangers and you don't even know their their names. For instance, whoever invented Cholula. I don't know your name, but you are very important. Thank you.

You know how the day before your scheduled hair appointment and your hair looks so amazing you think about canceling the appointment? Whelp. That didn't happen to me today.

Why is it that the ads on the side of web pages assume I have hemorrhoids or am need of penis enhancement?? Is that the vibe I give off?

I really wish people on commercials would stop cleaning CLEAN toilets. Invisible germs, blah, blah, blah. I assume there are zero man-boys living in your pretend house, or else You would KNOW where the germs are. You are just cleaning to show off, Glenda...

Let us not bash what we hate, but empower what we love and live by being a good example. This is hard to live by given the current state of the world.

This morning I saw a stork by the pond. I have been really busy since then. Busy ripping out my reproductive system, dousing it in kerosene, setting it on fire, and throwing it into an active volcano. Of course I am kidding. I an in Atlanta, GA. I couldn't find a volcano.

Next week, I’m heading to my last in-person conference of the year. People keep asking if I’m worried… HELL YES, I’M WORRIED!! I’m not entirely sure I can manage to wear a bra for 6+ hours a day for a week. And I’m definitely not sure the other attendees are prepared for me NOT to.

Someone who hates me gave my email to the Scientology database. I’m getting magazines and pamphlets asking me to join them to understand true enlightenment and live in an untainted reality. I’m both disturbed and impressed by who is responsible for this next level fuckery. That shit is cold blooded

Looked in the rearview mirror this morning and discovered my chin has been participating in No-Shave November without my knowledge.

Life lesson #39.. Do not look up the lyrics to your favorite songs, you will be disappointed. My Version: Like Demi Moore, Like Demi Moore. There's an urgent need to pee. Bad Religion's Version: Let them eat war, Let them eat war There's an urgent need to feed. My version makes way more sense.

For reals typed the word “duck” in a text and my phone autocorrected it to “f*ck.” I’ve never felt more understood in all my life. I don’t even need friends.

I’ve been peeking at the Florida DrupalCamp 2026 session list, and wow there are some fun ones already! But I don’t see your name yet. Got a talk idea about project management, back-end, DevOps, or community? You know what to do. fldrupal.camp/session-list #drupal #FLDC26

Of all the songs in the world that could decide to run in a loop in my head, "Holy Diver" would not be my first choice.

A11yTalks is tomorrow! “Continuous AI for Accessibility: Build Better, Faster, Inclusive Software with GitHub" with Carie Fisher & Helen Hou-Sandi. Oct 29 – 12pm ET buff.ly/2tCo7Qq #a11y

This is one of the best sessions of every #Drupal camp.

Last night I ate a gluten-free, fruit sweetened cookie. Holy fuck, there's SO MUCH chewing. Now I know how triathletes must feel…

Sometimes I want to go on a people slapping spree, however, that would require me to put on a bra or there's a chance they'd get slapped three times.

Accessibility standards are always changing. What passes today might not tomorrow. How do we keep projects inclusive as things evolve? Join me for "Beyond Compliance: Navigating the Accessibility Evolution" and learn to build #a11y with the future in mind @longhornphp.com this week.

I am helping with the Community Summit at next year's @drupalcon.bsky.social Let us know what you'd like to talk about! #Drupal #DrupalConChicago

Vanilla is not plain. Vanilla is a flavor. I can't stand it when folks use phrases like "Vanilla install", "Vanilla distribution,"... Plain yogurht is not vanilla... ask any kid. Vanilla is a flavor you losers.

I just attempted to put on tights that were a bit snug. If the neighbors were looking in, I believe they would think I was performing my mogul skiing technique.

Anybody else feel like they’re spinning the wheel on the price is right when they close the hatch back of their car? No, just me?

I feel the most love from my kids when they Rock, Paper, Scissor to determine who’s stuck playing a Cribbage with me.

You know I would have bought tickets if they didn't support fascism. Please give this article a read lataco.com/punk-in-the-...

PSA: if you smile at people, they generally smile back. Just your friendly reminder to not be an asshole today.

Just to be very clear... Just cuz I am able to buy my own drinks doesn't mean you shouldn't buy me some.

I'm so friendly, I just waved at a statue. Did I say friendly? I meant blind.

I'm not okay. Are you?

Reminder: The Walt Disney Company owns the Star Wars franchise. Boycott everything, not just what's convenient for you.

Me: "I don't know who you're talking about. Describe her." Co-Worker: "You know, she's got brown hair. She's really short. Come on, you know!" Me: ... Co-worker: "Ooh! I know how you'll remember! She's the one that really pissed you off that time. Oh, wait. No, that doesn't really narrow it down.”

Life lesson #2638... (No matter what your co-workers say and think) Wearing goth eye makeup and a burgundy bob wig while while demonstrating how to use a writing platform definitely makes the experience easier.

My morning devotional was about not scratching people’s eyeballs out. So, of course, now there are so many eyeballs needing it today. And its only 8:37 am.

Rule #3 ...coffee first. I remember shaving two legs this morning in the shower. A couple of hours later and sitting in the sun, I realize I must have shaved the same leg twice.

The cloud native journey continues. Join the 2025 CNCF Annual Survey and share your voice on Kubernetes, containers, and CNCF projects. Take the survey today. 👉 www.research.net/r/2ZSMR9T #CloudNative #CNCF #Kubernetes #OpenSource

Everybody's equal, just don't measure it.

I just completed the greatest Wednesday afternoon workout. And by workout, I mean a heaping bowl of chili-blast kettle chips.

Signed on to Amazon. Amazon says "Get yourself a Little Something." Then it shows me a link to tablecloth clamps. Woahwoahwoah, Amazon. Slow your roll. I'm not sure the excitement that is my life can handle something so hardcore.

As a human under 5'2", maxi dresses are basically stair hazards. The only thing this dress does for me is get caught up in my shoes, bloody my knees, and land me at the bottom of the stairs wondering if I broke my arm. I end hemming the damn thing...into a dress that's right above the knee anyway.

This is one of the most rewarding contributions I make to the #Drupal project.

Why, how, is bat shit crazy? There's some bat shit under our awning. It doesn't look crazy. It's not wearing a straight jacket. Its not listening to NOFX. It's not trying to get the county to demolish the roundabout. Nope, it's just laying there. For what i can tell, not being crazy.

Anybody out there able to open their Shazam app in time?

Web vs Mobile Accessibility: Challenges, Gaps and Best Practices - Tanveer Khan - A11yTalks AUG 2025 youtu.be/DFFrQkVEt1s?...

My semi-annual bend over at the Mazda dealership wasn't nearly as painful as I thought it would be.... I think because I asked for an 'oil and LUBE'....

I'm going to take charge of my life. Create my own reality and destiny. I started by ordering chili from the neighborhood food truck for dinner last night. If shitty things are gonna happen, I might as well be the one to blame.

If you're going to ask a couple what they are naming their baby, the rule is that no matter what, PRETEND TO LIKE IT. It's a responsibility that becomes yours the second you decide to ask a personal question that's none of your business. This message brought to you courtesy of "Don't be a dick."

Friday: HR: Make sure you document what you do for each client. Time Sheets are due. Today: HR: Maybe you can be less specific about what you do for a client. "Doing lots of stuff that looked good in code but look like crap in the browser." might not be okay to log. Sheesh...make up your mind.

NEW POST! Job listings for week ending 8/22 Job postings that came across my desk, slack, email, discord, etc this week. bit.ly/4mEjl83

Why are so many rad girls married to complete loser as*holes? Why does autocorrect on my cell phone insist that 'fuck' is 'duck', but then accepts 'amazeballs' as valid? Why do I only own DocMartins or flip flops? Why are my children such dorks? These questions are not rhetorical...I demand answers.