I just put on perfume to record a podcast. I either have had too much coffee... or not enough

Morning reminder: A11yTalks premieres today at noon ET! We’re sharing a quick look at our milestones + 2026 roadmap, then taking questions from “The Oracle of Inclusion” (an AI prompt generator). Hope you can join us. youtu.be/s3zFZAd1U6M #accessibility #a11y #A11yTalks

Once in awhile you get shone the light, in the strangest of places if you look at it right. Sometimes in the case of those cars that have the LED lamps, The lights shine so bright in your eyes it doesn’t matter which way you look at it, you’re blind.

its time to harvest the crust from your eyes....

What happens when the last thing you listen to before going to bed is one of your favorite bands? You dream that AFI is doing a small surprise show at the ale house you frequent. Then you wake up and you’re sad because it was all a lie. And now you have no purpose in your day.

I found $3 in change in the bottom of my purse and my first thought was, "Rad! Now I can buy a battery for my geocaching GPS." Because the Nerd Life can be dazzling as shit.

Me: Why the hell can I never find a damn lighter?! *pulls clothes out of the washer, finds 17 lighters, 10 wet receipts, granola bars I forgot about and Jimmy Hoffa

Yesterday I spent 5 min waiting for the cold water to heat up in the shower. #IAmTheReasonCaliforniaIsInDrought

I am continually amazed that I have grown beings inside my body, and that I am responsible for the care and management of said beings, yet I lose my mug of coffee 291 times a day.

To follow up on my last post, just to be clear. Under no circumstances do I want to see your rash.

Why? Why do people think because I’m a nurse I want to see their rash?

Send reinforcements... Young Stink has been making a long story short for the past ten minutes.

I found a new podcast this month. The title is “It’s a Wonderful Lie”. They read family holiday newsletters & guess what really happened. It was pretty hilarious because those newsletters are always so ridiculously fake. Everyone remembers when Little Tommy was busted for meth Clare!

Going to the zoo today and already know the hippos are going to feel personally relatable. Built for warmth. Emotionally prepared for snacks.

I'm not saying I REALLY need a haircut and a shower, but I just got up, walked across the room, and a paper clip fell out of my hair. OK. PigPen from the Peanuts gang. Oh, I'm not shaming me, it’s just upkeep and grooming hasn't really been on my radar.

It's hard to feel like a grownup when my legs aren't long enough to have my feet reach the floor when I sit at the supper table...

Christmas snacks hit like a full-time job. I have another meal scheduled in 30 minutes and my stomach is asking for a union break.

I always thought the saying was 'Tis the season to be jolly'. It's not. According to my experience this morning, the saying is 'Tis the season to be an asshole in the hardware store parking lot'.

Good fences make good neighbors. So does owning a leaf blower and understanding it is not a musical instrument to be used on a Sunday morning

I just cleaned out my refrigerator. I'm surprised that I came out of it alive, but more amazed that no one is standing here giving me an award or booze. Cause I totally deserve both.

I "secured a friend for life" by being nice to someone who was both mean and an idiot. I have regrets about my day.

I'm here to wrap presents and drink greyhounds... and I'm all out of presents.

Are you a #Drupal community member and have hobbies outside of Drupal? Really? 😛 Is one of those hobbies some type of crafting? 🎨✂️ If so, the Community Working Group is looking for someone to craft this year's Aaron Winborn Award… 🏆 www.drupal.org/community/cw...

I typed "I love Christmas music", but it autocorrected to "Christmas mucus" which is pretty right on for the current state of all the things. Maybe my phone is still on the pandemic autocorrect option...

Every perfume smells either too sweet or too strong. Either too old lady or preteen. I 50 yrs old and still don’t know what I should smell like, so I’m sticking with coffee, vodka, fried tofu, and quiet regret.

I'm smart, but not "remembers to take off the seatbelt before getting out of the car" smart.

I just found a fork in the spoon part of the drawer. This week is already spiraling out of control.

A friend eloped yesterday. I found parchment paper on sale. Pretty big week for both of us, I guess.

I pulled apart half my bedroom looking for the source of a weird noise before realizing it was my own phone vibrating in my pocket. Thinking about framing my degrees under “decorative only.”

I just saved $125 shopping online because I'm too lazy to go get my credit card from the other room.

My phone just autocorrected "thanksgiving" to "thanks f'ing". I am glad somebody gets me.

“You look a lot older in person.” -A thing a bitch just said to me this week.

Be mindful of what’s in your front sweatshirt pocket. Case in point… that neatly discreetly folded panty liner in pink plastic? It’s not so discreet when it comes unwrapped and sticks to your handkerchief when you pull it out to wipe your nose in front of your new neighbors.

I already need a nap

Do you ever lie in bed in the quiet and think about the important people in your life? Sometimes, they are strangers and you don't even know their their names. For instance, whoever invented Cholula. I don't know your name, but you are very important. Thank you.

You know how the day before your scheduled hair appointment and your hair looks so amazing you think about canceling the appointment? Whelp. That didn't happen to me today.

Why is it that the ads on the side of web pages assume I have hemorrhoids or am need of penis enhancement?? Is that the vibe I give off?

I really wish people on commercials would stop cleaning CLEAN toilets. Invisible germs, blah, blah, blah. I assume there are zero man-boys living in your pretend house, or else You would KNOW where the germs are. You are just cleaning to show off, Glenda...

Let us not bash what we hate, but empower what we love and live by being a good example. This is hard to live by given the current state of the world.

This morning I saw a stork by the pond. I have been really busy since then. Busy ripping out my reproductive system, dousing it in kerosene, setting it on fire, and throwing it into an active volcano. Of course I am kidding. I an in Atlanta, GA. I couldn't find a volcano.

Next week, I’m heading to my last in-person conference of the year. People keep asking if I’m worried… HELL YES, I’M WORRIED!! I’m not entirely sure I can manage to wear a bra for 6+ hours a day for a week. And I’m definitely not sure the other attendees are prepared for me NOT to.

Someone who hates me gave my email to the Scientology database. I’m getting magazines and pamphlets asking me to join them to understand true enlightenment and live in an untainted reality. I’m both disturbed and impressed by who is responsible for this next level fuckery. That shit is cold blooded

Looked in the rearview mirror this morning and discovered my chin has been participating in No-Shave November without my knowledge.

Life lesson #39.. Do not look up the lyrics to your favorite songs, you will be disappointed. My Version: Like Demi Moore, Like Demi Moore. There's an urgent need to pee. Bad Religion's Version: Let them eat war, Let them eat war There's an urgent need to feed. My version makes way more sense.

For reals typed the word “duck” in a text and my phone autocorrected it to “f*ck.” I’ve never felt more understood in all my life. I don’t even need friends.

I’ve been peeking at the Florida DrupalCamp 2026 session list, and wow there are some fun ones already! But I don’t see your name yet. Got a talk idea about project management, back-end, DevOps, or community? You know what to do. fldrupal.camp/session-list #drupal #FLDC26

Of all the songs in the world that could decide to run in a loop in my head, "Holy Diver" would not be my first choice.

A11yTalks is tomorrow! “Continuous AI for Accessibility: Build Better, Faster, Inclusive Software with GitHub" with Carie Fisher & Helen Hou-Sandi. Oct 29 – 12pm ET buff.ly/2tCo7Qq #a11y

This is one of the best sessions of every #Drupal camp.

Last night I ate a gluten-free, fruit sweetened cookie. Holy fuck, there's SO MUCH chewing. Now I know how triathletes must feel…