There once was a man named Tim Sweeney, with a sub-molecular weenie He mistook his own shitter for a white atom splitter Now his micro-dick's even more teeny.

Slightly diminish a game: Late Afternoon-stalkers: The Five 'O Clock Warriors

youtu.be/5ZqwRUGEtCo Current progress on Pyrebirds for the ColecoVision (and yeah, probably other systems in the TMS9918 line). There's all five stages, including the boss fight! (No sound, though. And no enemy shots or attack logic.)

Good grief, it's cold.

That rattling refrigerator will be the death of me. THE DEATH OF ME!!!

Boy, this British crime show host sure loves him some alliteration. "But Suff had a sinister surprise for the seductress sucking his schlong."

Early work in progress on the keets stage of Pyrebirds.

Even Geese Howard is getting sick of Heihachi's bullshit. "Dude! I only died twice! What are you to up at this point, seven? Eight deaths? You should go marry Rugal Bernstein, and have lots of indestructible children together."

There's Crystal Quest DLC. Downloadable content, for a game that's twenty years old, based on a computer game that was released fifteen years prior, that wasn't particularly good on a console without a mouse. What even is the point?

Apparently it was a car-based channel, but Discovery Turbo seems to be on ALL of Discovery Channel's shows for some reason. Are they refashioning the brand into a streaming service? Does this have something to do with the Netflix acquisition of Warner Bros.?

Uh, what the hell is "Discovery Turbo?"

And to think, I turned my nose up at Marvel vs. Capcom 3 because it didn't use the proper button layout of a Capcom fighting game. And it doesn't, and I still don't like that, but at least it had some semblance of charm to the design. It felt like a comic book fan boy designed it.

Battles have this health bar tug of war weirdness that felt entirely too similar to the seesaw fights in Def Jam: Fight for New York. When you lose health and it's not red health, you shouldn't get that health back. It's GONE, okay? What the hell, man, you're going to make this fight last forever.

Why do I keep giving Marvel vs. Capcom Infinite another chance? I bought it on PS4 and hated it there. I bought it on Xbox Series and hated it there, too! So stop buying the damn game already! It's not going to turn into the second coming of Marvel vs. Capcom 2 when you wish upon a star.

"Oh wow, it's Kool Mo Dee!" "No... sorry old chap, I call myself John Stevens these days."

@delhiero.bsky.social Hey, any thoughts on the tendency for rappers to tone down the stylization of their stage names as they reach their forties and fifties? You used to be Del Tha Funkee Homosapien, while the guy from Black Sheep was formerly known as Mista Lawnge. (I find it kinda fascinating.)

Del the Funky Homosapien actually WAS here on BlueSky, once upon a time. I'd love to hear his feedback on this phenomenon.

You know what's fascinating about rappers? As they age, they start to lose the obnoxious stylizations of their stage names. Del tha Funkee Homosapien became Del the Funky Homosapien. Mista Lawnge from Black Sheep became simply, Long.

Damn, that mime STOMPED the car pong game. #lmad

I dig Hiromi's music. I don't know what you call it... jazz? Instrumental? But it's creative and lively and calming to the extreme.

I just plain didn't like Probe as a game company. It always felt like it was Acclaim's slimiest tentacle, wrapping itself around great arcade games and great movie licenses and getting them all icky on the way to the Sega Genesis. When Acclaim died, so too did Probe, and nothing of value was lost!

Pizza Tower is a vibrant work of art, Wario Land 4 if it had been made with Microsoft Paint. The problem is, I don't really like to play it. The control is kind of awkward, and the time limit for reaching the exit way too tight.

"Kaiser Permanente" is the worst name you could give a corporation. It's the kind of name you would expect from a science-fiction dystopia... a harsh master who never shows mercy, and never dies.

I mean, yeah, they were both kind of studly. They would have been on the cover of Tiger Beat magazine, if they were still making it in the 1990s.

Glad to know I'm not the only one who feels this way. Glad to know there are enough people who feel this way to make a YouTube video necessary.

Great, Rich from ReviewTechUSA is back. Oh, goodie.

Is Elayne Boosler still alive?

Oh yeah, and sound! Lots and lots of sound! Both music and sound, actually.

Left to do in Pyrebirds: * Score advance table * All logic in keets (first two) stages * Proper scoring * Enemy bullets * Some collision detection * Lives/levels setup * Miscellaneous

Current progress on Pyrebirds: * Title screen with crow animation * Ship animates, moves, fires, and activates shields * Shields cannot be activated for four seconds after use * Bullets remove crows and break wings * UFO moves down, scrolls center, takes incremental damage

I get the feeling that Netherrealm is going to retcon their retcon shortly.

Being a Gen-X gamer in 2026 means you're not just afraid to play the new Samba de Amigo because it'll be as disappointing as the last one, but also because all that hyperactivity could kill you.

I gotta be honest with you, there's every indication that Mortal Kombat 1 is the runt of the litter, the Street Fighter V of its franchise. It's like, "oh, well this sure is a thing that exists." New characters are lame-o supreme-o (STRYKER? Are you kidding me?) and veterans get a back seat.

MK1 isn't AS bad as the first impressions suggested, but it quickly becomes clear that this game is all about style over substance. And as an MK game it's not as fun to play or as immediately approachable as MK9, likely the best game in the series.

Mortal Kombat 1 really sucks ass. This will be no great surprise to anyone who's played it, but it's a pretty big surprise to me.

Gen Z... you voted for Trump! Are you ready to die in Venezuela for Trump, too?

Maybe I'm behind the times and am just catching up, but man, the Atari VCS has just about everything else in its price class beat for emulation. Full speed Saturn? Yeah, occasionally! Full speed PS2? Surprisingly, but on the kinds of games I like to play (read: not Grand Theft Auto).

I gotta say, Fighter's History Dynamite is pretty groovy as long as you're playing with that incredible arranged soundtrack. It's that extra little bit of bombast that makes the game so wonderfully ridiculous. The game is basically "Oops! All Dan Hibikis!," and it needs that music for full effect.

Do any of you people realize just how good Soul Calibur for the Dreamcast is? STILL? After twenty six years?! This game's got the massive budget and the magnificent creative vision to make it timeless.

Finishing off the last piece of my birthday cake. With diabetes, this really COULD be death by chocolate!

Learned about the song Anonymous Romance, the piece that starts the Taito/Centuri game Phoenix. In the game, it's "okay, sure, that works well enough for an introduction," but the actual piece with real instruments is *gorgeous.* en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romance...

So, Trump-loving zoomers, when you're in the middle of South America, with shots whizzing by your head, swamp water filling your boots, and candiru swimming up your urethra, remember, YOU PUT YOURSELVES THERE! ENJOYYYYYY!

And don't come back from the field of war with your arm blown off, whining, "Ah bloo bloo bloo! What did I do to deserve this?" That ballot you dropped for Trump was as good as the grenade that blew off your arm. Learn this. Actions have consequences! Even for YOU!

Any zoomer who voted for Trump deserves to die in any war he starts. I said it, I MEAN it, I don't take it back.

Meanwhile, I'm too fat and old to be drafted into combat. For once, it PAYS to be Generation X!

I'd wager all those young Andrew Taint-lickers who voted for Trump are seriously going to rethink that decision after being drafted into his war against Venezuela. Guess what? JAGUARS think your face is pretty delicious, too.

(watching Max Headroom) "Haw haw! Your bleak science-fiction dystopia is slightly worse than the one I'm living in right now!"

"What is this?" "It is... green." Apparently that got its start in original Star Trek! Didn't Data say it once, too?

Oooooh! Who lives at the bottom of box office takes? Spongebob Squarepants! How many more movies will Viacom make? (Whoopsie! Skydance!)

You know what really sucks? Chase the Chuckwagon. Absolute dogshit game. Makes Pac-Man for 2600 look brilliant by comparison. Just completely devoid of charisma or clever design.