What happens if you're lactose intolerant and also lactating? Do the boobs just spring off your chest and fly all over the room, leaving milk everywhere?

I'm dumb compared to these guys. But I'm smart enough to know when I'm licked. (I just hope those licks left a bitter taste on your tongues.)

I'm sitting here going, "D-uh, how did you make any of this happen?" And they're like, "Here's a fifty seven page description of how I did this magnificent feat of early hardware engineering!," and I'm just sitting back drooling on myself, going "Durrrr..."

And don't get me wrong, I think my four games are good! I've played ColecoVision games. I know this machine from top to bottom, played pretty much the entire library, and can objectively rate my games as sevens or eights. But MSX users play for higher stakes. "Fucking polygons on an MSX2" stakes.

I mean, who the fuck codes for a forty year old computer that basically runs on a hamster wheel? Everybody, apparently!

It's just disappointing to get bodied that badly in a contest this specific. As a BASIC coder with only vague familiarity with the MSX computer, I was competing against the MSX Worldwide Olympics Team.

I fail to see the point in a competition where I'm all but destined to lose. If you can't realistically compete, you just have to watch from the sidelines.

There are forty one submissions for the MSX contest. I've already come to terms with the reality that I won't win (Boobie Ninja crushed that dream in grand fashion), but there are so many submissions I may actually rank LOWER than I did in the last competition! This is the pits!

I'm old enough to remember when King of Fighters kind of sucked. I mean, really, look back to the debut. Annoying play mechanics (I hate-hate-hate that background dodge!), a block-happy CPU, nearly impossible to do super moves, and worst of all, no team edit! How did we put up with this?!

Dick Van Dyke, at 100 years of age, says even a century is not enough, and that he still wants to do more. Now if there ever was a man who has nothing to prove in the wake of his past accomplishments, it's D-Van-D.

"Now what?" I guess that's always going to be the question you ask yourself, after every personal goal has been met. Nobody with ambition is ever going to be satisfied with meeting their current goals... they just move on to new aspirations.

The Visco collection is seven bucks on Xbox right now, and dammit, I had to. I'm not made of stone, people!

Penny's Big Breakaway is a platformer, but it's an advanced platformer. Better get used to the intricacies of the yo-yo, because if you don't, you're easy prey for crowds of penguins. I think it works better than something like Billy Hatcher, though.

I don't need an AI co-pilot for playing video games! I can suck at video games quite well on my own, thank you very much!

You know, I wanted to make an NES game. But then I realized that even with BASIC, it would be damn hard to actually work within the limitations of the NES. I hate the four micro-palettes limitation. In THEORY it should be fine, but in practice it means a lot of shades of brown or purple.

Ugh. Pop Lamer is more like it.

I think Success, or the successors of Success, are misreading Americans in a big way over Cotton. No, we're really not all that into this character. What gave you the idea that we were? I mean, Kiki's Delivery Service did okay in America. I guess that's the reason?

Uh, so the Dreamcast version of Cotton that everyone hated is on sale for six dollars on Xbox. In case someone wanted that. For some reason.

Wow, I MUST be super-high. I just bought Penny's Big Breakaway after months of hemming and hawing about it.

Mr. Stubborn's not wrong, you know. www.youtube.com/shorts/B0K0b...

The transition to a dictatorship has been rebranded by corporate America as a "dynamic political environment." How 'bout you dynamically kiss my ass?

kiblitzing.blogspot.com/2026/03/the-... In case you missed it! Reviews of a dozen Bally/Midway games, along with a fond remembrance of the bowling alley near our house.

There's going to be a Stewie spin-off. Patrick Star didn't deserve a spin-off and neither does Stewie. Twenty five years of Family Guy and shows just like it, and we get a Stewie spin-off.

In this blog post! Jess looks at the arcade games of Bally-Midway. kiblitzing.blogspot.com/2026/03/the-...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=CiBz... That was on Parish's video on the Power Glove, by the way.

This should probably be the boilerplate response to all Gamer-gate types.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfym... Welp. Here's another game that's going to beat the pants off mine in the contest. It actually does look very good, though. Better than Sweet Witches on Switch, at least.

Oh wow. I played through another hour of Judgment, and unlocked all the stores. There's this weird Road Rash-Wipeout hybrid called Motor Raid, that I didn't even know existed! And it's pretty good! Not Crazy Taxi good, but playable enough.

www.youtube.com/@T-PacArcade More people should visit this guy's YouTube page.

Five more days before winners are declared in the MSX25 contest. Wish me luck. It'd be nice to crack the top ten at least!

I don't know what got Germans to the point where we are now, but it's no surprise to me how it happened to us.

In an "anything goes" society, well, anything goes.

Of course people feel entitled to being assholes. They've been conditioned to act that way, over decades, thanks to the internet.

You can't poison the public well with characters applauded for being anti-social ("he's a serial killer... but he's got a good reason!") for a straight quarter of a century and not expect there to be consequences. ESPECIALLY when the online world gives people an excuse to be assholes anonymously.

Season twenty of American Dad? They made twenty seasons of this? Yeah, I know, people say it's better than Family Guy, but that's a pretty low bar. Like, to the floor. Hermes from the much better Futurama couldn't limbo under it.

And dated Gen-X stereotype Mega Man!

Oh wait, there's also indigenous Mega Man, and occult Mega Man!

So we have dime-store Mega Man (Mighty No. 9), angsty teen Mega Man (Mega Man X), zany parody Mega Man (20XX, but also in Capcom's own Street Fighter X Tekken!), morbid obesity Mega Man (Metal Mack), and special needs Mega Man (Japanese Power Blade).

Like, if there's a version of Metal Mack who talks, they should totally hire a guy to make him sound like Louie Anderson. "Aww, nooo! I got a cool new power up but I can't fit into the suuuuit!"

(dink dink dink dink) "Uh, hello? Is there a doorbell for this thing? Uh, can the boss come out to meet me outside his inner sanctum? I can't fit... I had too many energy cans and it went straight to my thighs. And everything else." METAL MACK GOT... DIABETIC SHOCK!

They should do, like, a 2XL version of Metal Mack, where every power up makes you fatter, until you're like, Robo-Blob. Then you have to roll through each stage going "Whoo! Whoo! WHOOOO!" until you reach the boss, except you're too fat to fit in that chain link fence leading to him.

How many of these legally-distinct-em-ups based on Mega Man X do we need? Okay, really. I can't count the number of Great Value Mega Mans I've seen over the last few years, from Mighty No. 9 to Metal Mack on the Neo-Geo. Metal Mack: It's Mega Man with Cankles!

So yes, I can definitely state for fans of the Neo-Geo and fans of Hamster (like Richard Gere, allegedly) that there are updates waiting for you, if you happen to have Arcade Archive games on your Xbox One/Series.

Ooh, and there's R-Type Delta Burke! Should I get that? I heard there were issues on launch.

All of my Arcade Archives Neo-Geo games have been updated. With what, one must ask?

Is Super Bagman one of those video games we have to acknowledge as a classic just because it's from France? You know, the Rayman effect.

That was some rump-thumping thunder. Geez. Damn.

I'm sorry, I just don't need to see that AI generated wife of his. "I AM FROM SLOVOKIA- I DON'T CARE DO YOU- END STATEMENT."

Is there some way to get the Melania documentary off my Amazon TV? PLEASE???

JOTD is really making the Amiga get in touch with its inner X68000 with these arcade ports. (Suggestion: Genesis versions!)