Good morning 😌

When this one couple’s account slid into my dm’s and I thought it was both of them wanting a threesome but it was actually just one wanting to hook up and he turned on invisible messages 💀 nopeee

Need the Gays™️ to accept that songs can be under 180 BPM

New Charli is excellent 😌 Wasian princess has done it again

Finally got approved for an apartment 🤩

Guncle venmo’d me $400

Forgot I had my student loans payments on auto pay and they just hit today

This weather today

Personality pic

Oh they’re trying to pack that wasian hockey player up sksks Such a fast rise and fall 💀

Why have I already seen cheeks and pole on instants??

Do the gays of Bluesky know about NikePS5? Cause this made me cackle so loud

When this is my song of the summer for the 3rd year in a row

I love being a thicc bitch cause no one wants to sit next to me on this train sksk

I love unsending a message on insta…it’s like no I didn’t say that 🙂‍↔️

Touring a rent stabilized apartment this week and I’m about to channel my ancestors and work some brujeria to get it

Accidentally sent emotional support twink™️ a dick pic on snap instead of oomf cause they both have the same first name 🫠

The fog and the waves in Newport today are insane

Guncle is making us go to Newport and do boujee shit today for Mother’s Day but I just want to stay in bed and rot

Dead Mom club make some noise 🗣️

Gay couple in the store is arguing at full volume in the fitting rooms and one of the husbands just mentioned divorce

Made a drink and put on one of the greatest movies of all time Spy (2015)

So we definitely bulked up a bit over the past year 😅

I keep attracting guys that are into “big guys” lately and they’re the most fit muscular men?? What is going on skss

The fact that this is my current music rotation

New Lykke Li and MUNA albums today

Applying to apartments in NYC is hell my god

New Kelela song is perfect

All of his fans being shocked at him getting back at 6am when that’s just a normal night for the gays in the city

Gay lil matador

Barking at my phone rn

They really do love slutting Hudson Williams out on the red carpet

Who’s dick do I need to suck to get a ticket to see PinkPantheress in Brooklyn on Thursday

Another Pussycat Dolls tour bites the dust 🥴

So funny to me that I’m banned from going to this gay social that happens once a month cause my boss’s friends have beef with me still from me crashing one of their pool parties two summers ago

Not a crossover that I was expecting

Got into the Hayley Williams presale but they wouldn’t let me buy two tickets cause there were only rows of three left 🙃

Today was a great day

Ya’ll…he took me back to his place for a drink after 🥴

Meeting up with this guy for lunch in a bit and why am I nervous 🫠

Tbt to my ex gifting me a free trial to his

Now how is there already roommate drama and we haven’t even gotten an apartment yet 🫠

Me when my ex and I had a threesome with his best friend and his best friend got a lil too into it

Touring apartments in Bushwick

Since everyone is doing remix albums lately I decided to share my fave remix albums 💿

Getting drinks with him Saturday 😌

This woman at work just pulled out a manila envelope full of crisp $100 bills and paid $5,000 cash

Why is everyone getting engaged this month??